Ivan's Letters to the World
by PimpinSushi
Summary: Inspired by ciddlesandbits's Alfred's letters to the world! Ivan decides he wants to communicate to the outside world. Warnings? You're Ivan's penpal. There
1. From Ivan to You

Привет мир

My name is Ivan Braginski. Alfred has started a new trend where countries send letters to each other in an attempt to keep communication. At first, I thought he was just an idiot, but now that I see Lithuania has started one, the idea has become more appealing and is not as time consuming as I originally thought.

Also, this gives me a chance to take advantage of my communication with the entire world, and spread the appeal of becoming one with me, Да? ((Except for you, сестра))

Also, seeing as how my boss has me working ungodly hours now, my return letters will be quite sporadic, and I cannot guarantee they will be pleasing. But I will try my best reply, and if you get offended, then… well, I do not necessarily care, do I? C:

.At any rate, I am getting off topic, Да?

До свидания my friends

Sincerely yours,

Иван Брагинский

P.S. I mean it, сестра, I do not want you to become one with me again…

_PimpinSushi here 8D_

_I'm really sorry if this exists already, if it does, please PM my idiot-self and I will take it down immediately! _

_I am beyond obsessed with these things and I wanted to make one of my own, and again, please tell me if it exists already! Russia's pretty popular, so I wouldn't be surprised if it did. Heh…_

_Anyway, I used an online translator because I don't know a lick of Russian, if my translations are wrong, please PM me as well! Alsoo, I will send a PM when I reply to each letter, other than that, there's nothing else to really specify._

_Translations: _

Привет мир – _Hello Everybody _

Да – _Yes._

Сестра – _Sister _

До свидания_ – Goodbye _

Иван Брагинский – _Ivan Braginski_

_This concept belongs to ciddlesandbits and Hetalia Axis Powers belongs to Hidekaz Himaruya._

_Enjoy guys, and I can't wait to reply to you!_

_~PimpinSushi :D_


	2. From Haiti

((From ~Kiki4Ever))

Dear Ivan,

You...are so creepy. Yeah, it sounds rude but I'm so NOT terrified of you and I COULD CARE LESS what you try to do to me. BECAUSE I GOT A SPECIAL VOODOO DOLL just for YOU and ITS AWESOME! But, you've helped me alot with that nasty disaster so please enjoy the girft basket enclosed with this letter. U STILL FREAK ME OUT RUSSIAN!

Despite the evil you have, you look cute an i can't hurt anything remotely like a child (India would kill me if I even touched you. She's so weird) so YOU WIN THIS TIME.

-Stephanie Jean-Baptiste, The Nation of Haiti

P.S: I would rather marry Belarus, grope France, and eat Englands cooking than become one with your left SHOE. U JUST GOT TOLD MASISI (faggot)

...dont hurt me -_-;

Dearest Haiti,

It has been a while since we have communicated Да? I hope you are holding up well since the disaster. I know you were coughing up blood and feeling nausea… But let me warn you, I will make it a priority to completely crush your lungs with my bare hands if you ever insult me again.

It is a mystery why people call me "creepy", sometimes it makes me sad. But please do not repeat the same offense for I will do what I stated earlier. And I do not know if you have noticed, but black magic and anything of the like does not seem to have an effect on me. For example, Busby's chair. It is baffling, Дa?

Anyway, I do not want to keep you busy, Stephanie. And I have my hands tied as well.

You think I am Милый?

Sincerely Yours,

Иван Брагинский

P.S. Be my guest. Go on and marry Natalia, saves me a lot of trouble. ((Unless she stabs you of course.)) Grope Francis who will in turn rape you, and eat England's cooking that will kill you C:

_-PimpinSushi _

_Translations in order:_

Да – _Yes._

Милый – _Cute._

Иван Брагинский – _Ivan Braginski._


	3. From Ukraine

((from ~Zhorla))

Dear Ivan

I know that we havn't talked in a long time. It's not that I havn't wanted to... It's just my boss. He wanted me to stay away from you so I could become more independant. And I have, Things were hard in the begining, without your help and living alone too.

But enough about me! I've really missed you vanya. So tell me, have you been getting along with any of the other countries? sometimes I read about you in the papers. and Ivan, and don't really want, but I have to ask. Did you send spies to America?

It'll be good to hear from you vanya.

Love,

Katya

Сестра? I.. I am so glad to hear from you…

It has been a while hasn't it? I really have missed being one, but I do not hate you for your decision. You did what you felt was right, Да? Anyway, would you like for your boss and my boss to make arrangements? I would really like to see you. We can have picnics and eat borsch like we used to! Your boss is a bit hard-headed but I am sure _one_ meeting will not hurt.

I know things are hard on you, farming is not easy work, and neither is being an independent nation. Unless you become –scratches out-

Nevermind, my hands were shaking a bit… Please dismiss that.

Hmm… getting along? I have befriended many thus far; Latvia, Estonia, Lithuania, and little Matvey is a good hockey partner.

What about you? Have you been making friends with…

_Мальчиков? -_-_

I sent them only because Alfred sent his first, but don't tell! Alfred believes I sent mine first. So it is a тайный

С любовью,

Иван Брагинский

- _PimpinSushi Here :D_

_Translations in order: _

Сестра – _sister._

Да – _Yes._

Borsch_ – Russian dish that originated in the Ukraine. _

_Мальчиков – Boys. _

Тайный - Secret

С любовью – _With love_

Иван Брагинский – _Ivan Braginski_

_Food for thought, Russia/Canada is mah OTP ;D _

_Just lettin' ya know. _

_~PimpinSushi_


	4. From Köln

Lieber Ivan,

I know you're a busy person, but could you please come here and tell your sister to get lost? She is sitting the whole day in my sunflower field. -.-

Ok... now to your original massige...So you finally decided to comunicate with us, huh? Took you long enough.

You know what a question is steaaling me my beauty sleep?

Why are you so afraid of poland? He is such a nice guy...

Well auf Wiedersehen

Liebe Grüße

Köln (Cologne)

P.S. I'm already 'one' with Germany... :P

Dear Köln

Hello, and how are you? Uhm… why do you not try removing her yourself? I would rather not be near Natalia, at the moment.. ((or ever)).

You have a sunflower field?

Yes, I have decided on it, since I have found a bit of free time from my hectic schedule.

Me? Afraid of Poland? Who told you such Чушь? I would never be afraid of any nation, let alone Poland.

До свидания, и Хорошего дня,

Иван Брагинский

_-PimpinSushi :D_

_Translations in order: _

Чушь – _Nonsense._

До свидания, и Хорошего дня – _Goodbye and Have a Nice day._

Иван Брагинский – _Ivan Braginski _

_~PimpinSushi_


	5. From Mongolia

Dear Brat,

Long time no see. I heard you been causing a load of trouble over the past few decades. I know we have been meeting a lot over business but I never get to ask how my мулгуу (idiot) of a student's life going. Last time I saw you for non business reasons was like six hundred odd years ago. Anyway China gave me a heads up on what's been happening, geez, Cold war, Baltic abuse the whole lot. I am not impressed. Then again I ain't no saint either. But that roman guy's, that ottoman never shut up about, bitch's (England I think his name was) adopted son, America is pissing you off. Deal with it. Or I am coming over there and flogging you silly with my whip and this time I'll crave out more than just your heart. KOLKOLKOLKOLKOLKOLKOLKOL~! :D

Your former sensei,

Mongolia

P.S. I liked you better as a short little 2 foot tall pipsqueak in a stupid hat.

P.P.S. Tell Ukraine and Belarus to get off my back about murdering your mother Kievan Rus

P.P.P.S. You stole my KOLKOLKOL Brat!

(Love this story :P)

Dear Mongolia,

Заткнись.

First off, yes, it has been a while since we have talked. I have been… pre-occupied, Да? Most countries usually pick fights with me, or are not strong enough to defend themselves in the first place. Either way, it is fun. :D

However, do not send letters if you are going to be so obnoxious. I do not appreciate it -_-

Anyway, perhaps we should meet up? I most certainly miss the company of my fellow European nations. They all seem to not want to be around me. Or maybe sending letters is just fine…

… Yao has a big mouth, Да? At any rate, I admit that it is all true. But how does Yao know in the first place? Hm… I will have a serious talk with him. I merely showed the Baltics my form of love and the Cold War was Alfred being глупый. I am also not here to impress you, Mongolia.

Stay over there, your company is no longer welcome. Do you not have anything more to do in your spare time than be a complete мулгуу?

I am so ashamed to even consider you a guardian.

Until next time,

Иван Брагинский

P.S. Well now I am more than six feet tall and I happen to like my hat. So пошел на хуй.

P.P.S. Ukraine? I do not imagine her doing such a thing, however, I am not about to confront Belarus for any reason whatsoever. Any reason…

P.P.P.S. You lack originality, it was always mine. Kolkol :D

-_PimpinSushi here 8D_

_Translations in order: _

-_PimpinSushi here 8D_

_Translations in order: _

Заткнись – _Shut up. _

Да – _Yes._

Глупый – _Stupid._

Мулгуу – _Idiot_

Иван Брагинский – _Ivan Braginski._

пошел на хуй – _Fuck you. ((I'm really self conscious about putting curse words in an online translator, someone please help?))_

_Thank you for the compliment ^^;_

_~PimpinSushi _


	6. From Georgia

((from ~choco))

Dear Ivan,

This is Georgia, the country just north of you.(no, I am not your pillow) I was wondering if you could give me some money and please stop sending me strange death threats.

It's scary enough living next to you, I don't want your death threats. I am my own country, thank you.

That's all I wanted to say.

Good bye.

Bagrat Kakha (The Country of Georgia)

P.S: Why is Belarus staring at me?

P.P.S: How did she get into my house?

Dear Georgia

It is красивый communicating with you, how have you been? Uhm… I am not sure if I can send out aid at this moment. Seeing as how my country is going through a rough crisis…

Oh… those were sent to you? I meant to mail them to America, my apologies.

Well… someone has certainly developed attitude in the past century, haven't they?

Anyway, keep safe. I'm sure other people are trying to invade you. :3

Sincerely Yours,

Иван Брагинский

P.S. I am not sure.

P.P.S. I am also not sure, but I suggest you run, Да?

-_PimpinSushi in the hizzouse! 8D _

_Translations in order:_

Красивый – _Nice _

Иван Брагинский – _Ivan Braginski. _

Да – Yes.

Oh, and more food for thought. There is actually a real crisis going on in Russia. It's incredibly sad, half the country is like… on fire and/or covered in smoke! It's… oh god, just read on it when you have the time, kay?

~PimpinSushi


	7. From Savannah

((from cross-over-lover232))

dear ivan,

my name is savannah and i dont think your creepy at all! but i do wish i had the abilty to be as frim as you.. well none the less i have included three dozen sunflowers in this package along with blueprints to build a large green house were you can grow more! and a nice vrigina baked ham, my home stae is well know for those! any way i hope things get better and one last thing! i send a mega hug with this letter as well!

Dear Savannah,

I am incredibly touched by your letter. Спасибо for acknowledging that I am not creepy, it is nice to meet people who have a heart for a change, Дa?

Well, you want to be firm, eh? It is easier than most think, but it is certainly a challenge to gain intimidation. I would suggest… ah, growing at least a 7 inches by the next year. Carry around a preferred weapon of choice, anything handheld usually does the trick. ((A bat, a gun, a stick, a lead pipe, etc.))

Develop a mysterious laugh, and pick as many fights as possible!

Oh my, you have? Well, the mailman has just dropped them off. I cannot thank you enough; you are too sweet, little Savannah! Sunflowers are rare to come across, so I do appreciate all of these wonderful gifts. In turn, I will… hug you, Дa? :)

With love,

Иван Брагинский

-_PimpinSushi here 8D_

_Translations in order: _

Спасибо – _Thank you_

Дa – _Thank you._

_~PimpinSushi_


	8. From Belarus

((~from Sampson))

Иван,

женитесь, женитесь, женитесь

Любовь,

Белоруссия

(English:

Marry, marry, marry

Love,

Belarus)

Dear Belarus

H-Het… I am sorry, I cannot.

Goodbye,

Иван Брагинский

-_PimpinSushi with your translations in order :3_

Het – _No. ((Probably the only word I know in Russian lol))_

Иван Брагинский – _Ivan Braginski._

_Also, I seem to have made a mistake in the last letter. I put that "_Дa" _means "Thank you" Seriously? I must be on drugs. So my apologies for that, _Дa _as we all know, means "yes.". I didn't wanna go back and change it cuz I are a lazy skank D: _

_Anyway, see you next time around!_

_~PimpinSushi_


	9. From Colorado

((~from sandyandmaxwellfanatic))

Dear Ivan dude,

Don't insult my daddy! He's cool and he calls me Centennial state, so I'm pretty awesome right? Even though, he needs to take a trip to my mountains and stop eating so many burgers...

Anyway, I heard that the 2014 Winter Olympics at your place (I'm scared.). Just so you know, Lindsey Vonn is gonna kick your A$$. We Coloradoans were BORN for snow. You BETTER do a good job at those Olympics because I was supposed to get them in 2002, but my bro Utah got it. Ugh, he keeps stealing all my tourists...

I hear you don't like snow. Why hate the cold? It's awesome and I get to go snowboarding in Vail if it snows.

From Alfred's Kid,

Colorado

P.S. I've never met you before and people say you're as scary as hell, but I don't think so. I just think you're a little lonely and need an awesome person such as myself to help you out.

P.P.S Stop spying on my dad.

xx

Dear Colorado,

I never insult your father. I only speak the truth, and you would be surprised how often he calls me a "fucking commie bastard" as well. So please don't go around accusing people without knowing the entire story. Your father is indeed, a moron. It would do him great if he did get the exercise, да?

I heard that wonderful news as well, and I am greatly looking forward to it. Please do not underestimate my people, we Russians know our way around snow all too well. Much better than you ever will.

Hm… I do not like the snow because of how chilling it is, it does not allow for any sort of fruit or plant to grow and it is… hard for people to attach themselves to each other, their teeth are chattering so fast they don't exactly want to talk. It is quite complicated D:

Sincerely Yours,

Иван Брагинский

P.S. Yes, there are rumors about me. And it is safe to assume your father talks about me quite a lot. But do not worry, I am sure we can both get along :D

P.P.S. I cannot guarantee anything.

_-PimpinSushi here 8D_

_Translations in order: _

Да – _Yes_

Иван Брагинский – _Ivan Braginski_

_~PimpinSushi _


	10. From Texas

((~from zelda03))

Dear Ivan,

...I knew it was gonna happen one day, I knew it. I am purely writing to you because Alaska is currently 'kolkolkol'ing behind me, she also says hi. I assume you wish to know, but I am Texas. I also want to tell you that I can't become one with you, 'father' wont let me since you're a 'commie bastard'. But I could probly visit, in fact, I want to. I'd rather freeze my ass off than melt. Can I visit soon? My airconditoner broke, and I can't go visit Uncle Matt(Canada, the country north of Alfred.) because he says he's too sister is in your room naked.

-Texas-

P.S. just so you know, I'm a woman. I don't want anyone think'in I'm a man anymore, it's annoying as shit.

xx

Dear Texas,

First off Привет , and if you give Alaska some seal, she will obediently leave the room. Such an adorable character, she is.

Oh really? Alfred would not let you become one? That is a shame, you realize, you do not have to listen to your father. He is technically not even your father, you were owned by Mexico previously. You are a grown woman now, and I am sure you are allowed to make your own decisions. Your father is also a hypocrite because I fucked him :3 Bring that up to him, that should certainly make for a lovely family dinner.

Yes, you may visit soon. My house is currently a bit empty, Да? I could use the company! And uh… shouldn't you just call a mechanic?

Ah, Matthew he-

…

I will have you know that I turned around and no one was there. That is not funny, Texas. Not funny at all!

Sincerely Yours,

Иван Брагинский

P.S. I know you are a woman, but it is your personality and the way you dress that make people think otherwise.

_-PimpinSushi is here ^_^ _

_Translations in order:_

Привет – _Hello_

Да – _Yes_

Иван Брагинский – _Ivan Braginski._

_Now then, I had band camp you guys, so I AM SOOOOOOO SORRY FOR NOT UPDATING AT ALL! Like, genuinely D:_

_Band camp was certainly tiring, and I caught the flu! –sigh- Over and out._

_~PimpinSushi_


	11. From Ranchdressing

((from ~Ranchdressing))

Dear Ivan,

Did you know that Alfred is scared of ghosts? So if you really want to scare him, just mention something ghost related. Also, what do you think of American alcohol? I heard that it was watered down compared to other countries.

Goodbye and good day,

Ranchdressing

xx

Dear Ranch dressing, ((It is odd to type that out))

Lol. I did not know that :D I will use that information against him in the future. May I ask how you came upon it in the first place?

And yes, that is why Alfred is a bit of a lightweight. Our alcohol is very concentrated compared to other countries.

Same to you,

Иван Брагинский

-_PimpinSushi hurr._

_Translations in order:_

Иван Брагинский – _Ivan Braginski._

_~PimpinSushi _


	12. From Ausra Matejka

((~from Ausra Matejka))

Dear Ivan,

Can I call you Vanya? It sounds cuter. =) I want to offer my friendship to you. So, do you want to be friends?

Kisses ir meile,

Ausra Matejka

xx

Dear Ausra,

Vanya? Well… it is more of a term of endearment from close ones, but I guess it is okay if you want to become friends with me. Gaining comerades is always a pleasure, Да?

So yes, I would _love _to become friends with you :D

С любовью,

Иван Брагинский

-PimpinSushi here to annoy you some mo'

Translations in order:

Да – _Yes_

С любовью – _With Love_

Иван Брагинский – _Ivan Braginski_

_~PimpinSushi_


	13. From Canada

((~from Hoshiko13))

Dear Ivan

Hello. T-This is Matthew. Remember me? Nobody else does. Not even Kumakiou

I hope we can get a hockey match in soon. It's starting to get a bit boring here.

I better stop writing now. Alfred is looking over my shoulder and trying to read what I'm writing.

(Funny how ho only notices me when I'm doing something he doesn't like. . .)

W-well, I'll see you at the next world meeting right?

~Matthew

xx

Dear Little Matvey,

I have certainly missed you since the last time I saw you… which has been quite awhile. How have you been holding up?

I do remember you, and do not worry over such a thing as being "noticed", Holland and Prussia notice you, Да?

However, I think people will acknowledge you more if you become one with me, just throwing that statement out there. ((give it consideration :3))

I hope we can play sometime soon as well; You are certainly a formidable opponent. I remember one time you checked me into the wall… I still have a bruise there :o

Pfft. Are you not a larger country than Alfred? Beat him up. That is what I would do.

Of course, Увидимся позже!,

Иван Брагинский

P.S. I thought your bear's name was Kumajirou… must be my imagination then.

xx

_Translations in order: _

Да_ – Yes _

Увидимся позже – _See you later_

Иван Брагинский – _Ivan Braginski _

_~PimpinSushi 8D _


	14. From Haiti II

((from ~Kiki4Ever))

Ivan,

Ha! I-I'm totally not afraid! I AM AN ISLAND COUNTRY, IN THE CARIBBEAN! YOU CAN'T INVADE ME! at least, I-it would be hard! But I know you are too nice to invade such a helpless country...I assume -_-;

But anyways.

Yeah...I may have been a tiny bit harsh in my last letter. I was bored so i wanted to start a fight. Well, I think I'll go do somethin more productive now on...so you'll probably hear somethin from my other family but not from me for a while. NOT BECAUSE I-I'M AFRAID OR ANYTHING! But i have work to do with elections coming up soon (WYCLEF FOR THE WIN!) and that's a war it's self -_-; One Question:

ERRR how did your obsession with sunflowers come about? Not don't I have any or anything...it's too humid and wet where I live...But they are pretty

So...yeah...leave me alone and we have no problems :I

-Stephanie, The Nation of Haiti

P.S: I said you LOOK cute, but You are NOT cute. YOUR NOSE IS HUGE XD but it fits your (ugly) face so I can't complain ;)

P.P.S: France wouldn't DARE grope me (I'M PART FRENCH, THAT FREAK CAN'T TOUCH ME)

SEE YOU LATER RUSSIAN 8I

xx

Hello again, Stephanie.

I realize your location, it is very easy for me to gain allies in the area, considering Cuba is already becoming a communist country. In the event that I decide to invade your worthless piece of land, it will be much easier and much faster than you think. So please, do not tempt me :D

But anyways,

A _bit_ harsh? Though I am used to harsh treatment, you were indeed quite rude. So I do expect an apology by the next letter or there may be consequences, Да?

Don't worry, I know you are not afraid of me! Hiding behind a letter and your family completely proves that :D I hope you pick up on the sarcasm. You can't be _that_ dumb.

I did hear about Wyclef running over there… and it is odd trying to imagine that. It is like imagining the girls from TATU as Tsars. My guess is that you are leaning towards Wyclef?

Ahh, well, I would not be able to tell you how my "obsession" ((as you put it)) with sunflowers came about. Though, I think it may be because you cannot grow sunflowers here in Russia, and… as Alfred would put it, "people always want what they can't have." At any rate, sunflowers are also an incredibly beautiful flower, as soon as they find a ray of hope they grab it, and their faces lift toward the sky. However, when there is no sun, they become incredibly sad. They are like humans, да?

Anyway, I will leave you alone. Because I do not associate with… pardon my Russian, суки like you :D Kidding, kidding~ ((not really))

Заботиться,

Иван Брагинский

P.S. I rather like my nose, and this is how most Russian men look anyway; They are just about as handsome as I am! But if most Haitian women look like you then… _

P.P.S. Just try him. Go up to him and mention " l'amour." He'll have a field day.

xx

_Translations in order: _

Да – _Yes_

Суки – _Bitches_

Заботиться – _Take Care_

Иван Брагинский – _Ivan Braginski_

_~PimpinSushi 8D_


	15. From Savannah II

((from ~cross-over-lover232))

dear ivan

i'm glad you like the sunflowers it took a bit of work to grow em and get em trough customs before they wilted! i always loved learning about your nation,it always made me eager to learn mostly about the rominoves family and little annaasta judgeing from paintings she was quite the beaty! umm i have a small bit of advice: try invite natile for dinner the catch?have england cook it all and when shes down from food poisoning ship her off to a max secruty prson or mentel ward

savannah

(shishishi is my new laugh for now unless i find one better!)

xx

Hello again, Savannah

I can tell you spent so much time on it, each sunflower is more beautiful than the other! Спасибо!

Would you mind telling me the secrets of your green thumb? My flowers keep wilting every time I pass by them… It is the strangest thing. I also built the greenhouse :D You should come and see it! It is красивый~

The advice is amazing; I will use that for future reference… However, she is my сестра, and I do not want to kill her… So maybe I will just settle for some regular poison. Considering Arthur's kicking is a death wish on a plate. May I ask which mental ward? I have tried several, she breaks through each and every one of them! I am incredibly scared D:

See you later, Savannah!

With Love,

Иван Брагинский

xx

_Translations in order:_

Спасибо – _Thank you_

Красивый – _Beautiful_

Сестра – _Sister_

Иван Брагинский – _Ivan Braginski_

_DUDE. Mizu con is coming up this weekend :D I am SO-O-O-O excited to the max. Friends and I are doing an APH group, swell, huh? Anyway, SEE YOU NEXT LETTER._

_~PimpinSushi_


	16. From O'zbekiston

((~from 101riot-girl))

dear Russia-tan,

Salom!

it has turned hot again leaving us reminiscing of when we were one with you. Maybe we should vist again!

from,

O'zbekiston

P.S echki-tan says hi.

xx

Dear O'zbekiston,

Perhaps you should become one with me again. That'll solve a lot of problems and you do not have to sit around and think of the past.

Sincerely Yours,

Иван Брагинский

P.S. Привет

xx

_Translations in order: _

Иван Брагинский – _Ivan Braginski._

Привет – _Hello_

_I'm getting a lot more letters than I thought I would be… But you don't wanna hear my bitching anyway. So I should just stfu and take responsibility. :3_

_~PimpinSushi _


	17. From Nebraska

((~from bunnyrabbitOfDOOM))

Dear Russia,

This is Lincoln, Nebraska! I'm one of Granddaddy Alfred's grandchildren! I noticed we have something in common! Your name is Ivan Braginski, and my name is Victory Ivan Jones! I really like the name Ivan and I've seen a picture of you and I like your scarf!

Sincerly, Victory Ivan.

-Out of letter-

Ahh the innocence of that five year old XD not for long. Since he's writing to Russia.

xx

Dear Nebraska,

I know who you are, Alfred talks about you a lot during meetings. In fact, he brags about all of his states… it gets rather irritating.

O: Really? That is amazing, the name Ivan is fitting for almost everybody. I wonder why Alfred would name you that though… Eh.

Thank you! I love my scarf as well, perhaps you should buy a scarf as well. They are indeed comfortable. But not the same color as mine though, that is stealing.

Sincerely Yours, Ivan Braginski.

xx

_Translations in order:_

_None._

_Ivan not using Russian in a letter? How odd. D:_

_~PimpinSushi_


	18. From Colorado II

(( from ~sandyandmaxwellfanatic))

Ivan dude,

My... dad is a moron, I'll let you say that... But I love him anyway, so... yeah... (Colorado really isn't a patriotic state...) BTW, isn't Russia, like, done with communism or something? Because if it isn't, I'm done talking to you.

While I am kind of nervous to meet you in 2014, I have to congradulate you for your first winter olympics. But. I. Will. Not. Lose. To you. EVER. You may be old and have been around longer than me by a gazillion years, but I have the longest mountain chain in the states, better than your tiny Ural mountians. Also... LINDSEY VONN FTW! :D

I also heard that you have some burns from the Moscow fires. Even though I don't know you and you hate snow, would you like some fresh Rocky Mountain water to help you cool down? Hey, I'm a nice girl... Even though you say you'll keep spying on my daddy.

Do you have a crazy sibling? That... Belarus chick right? The reason I ask is because Utah won't stop bragging about his ski resorts and Oklahoma keeps taunting me with her tornados. ~dies~

See ya, wouldn't wanna be ya,

Colorado

P.S.

I... hope we can get along too, even though I may have seemed a little harsh in this letter. Don't tell Daddy I said that. He'd disown me.

xx

Dear Colorado,

You certainly reply quickly, you wouldn't happen to have lots of time on your hands, would you? :D

Well, It is nice hearing you admit your father is indeed a moron. Now if only Alfred himself would realize it… Not exactly. It is quite hard to explain. Half of Russia is in a semi-presidential democracy, and the other is communist. It gives me quite the headache… Aw, but I thought we were friends, Colorado ):

Thank you for acknowledging us as competitors. But you have quite the ego, Да? We Russians exceed in winter sports, that is our thing and no one can take it from us. We are used to the harsh terrain and the overbeating weather; And we do not cry for blankets –cough-Alfred-cough- when we feel a slight chill. I certainly respect her, but with successful skiers like Irek Zaripov I have complete faith that my people will succeed. Kolkol. Your mountains do not matter now, do they? You are in MY territory as of now. :D

Ah, quite so.. that is quite a touchy subject for me. The fires seem to be spreading and we are losing many of our natural resources and farms… I hope we can fix the problem soon. And they are not burn scars, I just have random episodes of a sore throat and fevers. Not a big deal, Да?

Спасибо for the water, I do appreciate it. :)

…Uh… yes… I certainly have "crazy" sister… Although, it takes much more than that to describe her. At any rate, tell your sister to go away. Siblings can be rather annoying.

Take Care,

Иван Брагинский

xx

_Translations in order: _

Да – _Yes_

Спасибо – _Thank you _

_~PimpinSushi 8D_


	19. From Arabia

(( from ~jet set radio future kita))

Dear Ivan,  
Wow, you finally got one of those letter things.  
Alfred's letter thing is so boring. The only things he even talks about are how much of a 'Hero' he is and of his Iggy plan. Iggy's ok but...ugh. I'm always afraid that he would make me one of his colonies. For now I will sleep with a mini flag pole (no flag) so he won't try to colonize me while I'm asleep. I could careless that anyone colonize me, I don't care unless it's Iggy.

By the way I have a question. What do you honestly think about the other Allies? I think they're all kind of... odd. I hate Iggy. Alfred is plain annoying. Wang Yao is sort of werid, I think he likes hello kitty too much. France horrifies me. He keeps trying to touch me. When he's around I must carry a bigger flag pole.

I was sort of bored so I thought that I would talk to you. I'm going to go annoy Poland about dressing like a girl.  
See ya,

Arabia

P.s(I wish that more people would reconize me as a country. If they do they think that I'm near Turkey. I'm up in northern Europe. They are so mean... This means that I will have to pull out my flag pole. That will take care of my problem) 

xx

Dearest Arabia,

I did, as I have said, I have obtained a bit of a free time. But just a bit, I still have to get back to work. You have been writing Alfred? I would imagine conversations with him are incredibly repetitive, so there is no point in talking with someone who is so thick and cannot assess the situation. ((Really? All he ever talks about is McDonalds and Marvel… shut up already. :O))

Iggy? Oh, you mean Arthur! Well, what is Iggy's plan exactly? I have never heard of this up until now…

You could care less if anyone tried? Even me? There is always more room for Russian in this world; Would you consider becoming one with me, Arabia? We can accomplish many things and take our Arthur, whom you have some sort of vendetta against. ((Though, I'm not exactly sure.. I do not hate the Englishman.))

What do I think of the other Allies? That is certainly out of the blue… Well, I cannot stand Alfred the most. As you said, he is annoying and quite insufferable. He has a one-track mind..and.. really? Who can stand such a character?

Arthur is quite diligent at what he does, I have no problems with him thus far. Our relations are going quite swimmingly, and we haven't fought that much. Uh… yes. But if he tries to offer me another scone I'm going to have to ready my pipe… I mean it.

I have nothing to say about Francis. He is just… Goodbye.

China is certainly a comrade of mine, although, the other day I found him bathing with his Hello Kitty… that is certainly an obsession. I am still trying to convince him to become one with me… Any day now! :D

Out of all the allies, I guess Canada would be my близкий друг. He is certainly much smarter than people give him credit for, Да? He is up to par with me when it comes to hockey, and he is the second largest country in the world. Oh, the things we would accomplish if we became one…

Anyway, it is nice that you wrote! I cannot wait to hear from you again! I hope you solve your проблемы with Arthur, although, are you pretending to be mean to him because you secretly like him, maybe? The same thing happened with Francis and Arthur… Just saying.

Sincerely Yours,

Иван Брагинский

P.S. Maybe you should just stick the Russian flag at the end of that flagpole. Wave it around a bit, see how it fits. :3

xx

_Translations in order:_

близкий друг. – _Closest friend_

Да – _Yes_

Проблемы – _Problems_

_Sorry for the late reply, jsrfkita-chan x3 _

_If it makes you feel better, I L.O.V.E. your username, Jet Set Radio Future, is like my favourite game EVAR. _

_((Look at Microsoft Word being a bitch and telling me I misspelled "favourite." I type the British way. So it can shut up.)) _

_Teehee._

_~PimpinSushi_


	20. From Ranchdressing II

((from ~Ranchdressing))

Dear Ivan,

I came across this after lending him a few movies. I also asked Kiku and Matt (you know, Canada. The guy above him.) what his weakness was because I got sick and tired of him spamming my inbox with stupid stuff. Lend him a few movies, make sure it's dark, and if he watches The Ring, call him when it's over and say "Seven Days..." in a whisper. Make sure to call him at that time for the week and count down the days. He'll be scared, and you'll have peace and quiet. :3

Goodbye and good day,

Ranchdressing

P.S.-I know how it is to type out. That's part of the reason why I like the name!

P.S.S.-When was the last time you used someone as a meat shield against your sister? If you claim that someone is pinning for you, I'm sure she'll leave you alone for a few days.

xx

Dear Ranchdressing,

Well, that explains a lot. Alfred has always been the kind to brave scary movies and regret it later. Oddly enough, he spams every ones inboxes with chain letters and the latest news on this "Miley Cyrus" character. She makes one song called "Party in the USA" and suddenly, she is Alfred's favourite "latest hero."

Well I already have "The Ring" on DVD, I have seen it and it was not scary at all, in fact, the babies were kind of cute. They reminded me of Kiku. I want one as a pet… Oh wait… I am thinking of "The Grudge" aren't I? Well anyway, I will follow your advice and do just that. Next time you write, the deed will be done. I do hope you're right about him leaving me alone though. I put my faith in you.

With love,

Иван Брагинский

P.S. It makes me feel like I am talking to actual "ranchdressing" D: Out of curiosity, why did you choose such a name?

P.P.S. Ah, too many times… My сестра will go through anything to get through me… it is quite scary.

xx

_Translations in order: _

Иван Брагинский – _Ivan braginski_

Сестра – _sister_

_Well guys, Ivan wants a Grudge baby for his birthday. Make sure to get it to him!_

_Also, more apologies from me… ((please accept them!, they're genuine, I promise)) I haven't been sending the PM's as I should. It was much more of a tedious process than I hoped it would be. So just fav the story, watch for the update, and leave me be! D: _

_Te quiero~_

_~PimpinSushi _


	21. From Ausra Matejka II

((from ~Ausra Matejka))

Dear Vanya,

YAAAAY~ I'm so glad you want to be my friend, it is a pleasure! Do you like Pyragas su aguonomis? Its popular in Lithuania, my home country. =) I think you would like it.

Kisses ir meile

Ausra Matejka

xx

Dear Ausra,

I would love to be friends with you, the more friends, the better, да? But be careful though… if Natalia hears you calling me that she will attempt to stab you. I can guarantee your safety in our friendship, however, when it comes to Natalia… I am not completely sure… Мои извинения D:

I have tasted Pyragas su aguonomis, it is quite delicious. I enjoy Lithuanian food, but I do love Pampushki better… sorry~

Sincerely Yours,

Иван Брагинский

xx

_Translations in order: _

Pyragas su aguonomis _– Lithuania bread; Made of yeast, dough, and poppy seeds._

Да – _Yes_

Мои извинения – _My apologies_

Pampushki – _Russian bread; Small puffy rolls of dough_

_~PimpinSushi _


	22. From Texas II

((from ~zelda03))

Dear Ivan,

Na, Alaska doesn't like listing to me, I haven't found out why yet. Probably beacuse she like to look at porn on my laptop all the time. Well, I kinda do have to listen to Alfred, since I'm a state and all. But He's pissing me off. I swear, one day I might just try and become a republic again. You fucked him huh? Well, thank you for tellin' me, now I can use it for blackmail. I hate mechanics, they claim to fix my stuff and, like, two days later it aren't cheap either.

HAHAHAHA you fell for it! I'm sorry, I just had too! But seriously, your sister is a psyco, and this is comin' from the chick who puts her siblings in the hospitol for no reason. Oh, and you can just call me Nicole, I like that name better.

-Texas-

P.S THANK YOU! Though, I dont really think it's the way I dress, considering my boobs are almost as huge as your elder sisters. lol

(sorry for fail speling. My spelling is horrible OTL)

xx

Dear Texas,

I don't think it is your pornography that Alaska wants, I am not sure what she wants from you actually… ((Does Alfred know you have such a collection?)) Maybe you should promise her some salmon… She loves that, I think. Tell her it's in a location that is not your room… like, Italy's house or something. If that doesn't work, send her to Egypt because she does not particularly like the sun. If that doesn't work then… I guess she is a lesbian and has an undeniable crush on you, in which case, you should probably get the hell out of there.

You should indeed separate from Alfred if he is making you SO angry, however, do not become independent. Be mine, Да ? –heart-

Lol. We did indeed "fuck", in the 50s actually… on several occasions. He'll deny it for ages, but with a bit of prodding, he'll cave in eventually ;D

I apologize if I hurt your virgin ears, oh, and tell your brothers and sisters as well. Destroying your father is rather забавный~

Hm… that is true, most mechanics are just in it for the money. They don't really care if they get the job done or not; Perhaps you should just ask Ludwig to fix your AC. He is certainly a reliable character. ((Or beat the mechanic until he gives you a refund))

… This is no laughing matter. Wouldn't you be deathly afraid if your сестра wanted to marry you? That is like Hawaii wanting your babies…

Getting scared now?

I thought so.

Nicole, Да? That is a cute name.

Perhaps if you secede from Alfred, you can adopt my surname and become Nicole Braginski ;)

Jkjk ((not really))

С любовью,

Иван Брагинский

P.S. Добро пожаловать, If people keep mistaking your gender then perhaps you should stop beating people up, and stop using unlady-like curse words and whatnot… Just a suggestion.

xx

_Translations in order:_

Да – _Yes_

Забавный – _Amusing_

Сестра – _Sister_

С любовью – _With Love_

Иван Брагинский – _Ivan Braginski_

Добро пожаловать – _You're Welcome._

… _can someone tell me if I'm in character with this? Out of character? Like, PLEASE TELL ME._

_Ivan's a pretty complex guy, so tell me if I need to up the creeper factor, decrease the OOC-ness, stop insulting Alfred so much, use less emotiocons. Just give me something, it is much appreciated! I've seen people butcher personalities so I really want to be spot-on with this._

_Please and Thank you in advance! _

_~PimpinSushi _


	23. From Unnaturalketchuptaco

((from ~Unnaturalketchuptaco))

Interactive fics are a violation of the ToS. You have been reported.

xx

Dearest Unnaturalketchuptaco,

It is a shame you use your spare time to harass others… ((Even though I do the same thing, but I am a nation so it's different))

Perhaps you should find a hobby, Да?

I would suggest stamps, they are simple and cheap.

Or maybe you harass others because of some kind of pent up anger… if that is the case, I would suggest playing Halo and shooting the comrades.

Or Grand Theft Auto and shooting the pedestrians.

If you are merely just одинокий, maybe I can set you up on a date? I know a certain psychotic Belarusian girl who is dying to find a partner ;D

Sincerely Yours,

Ivan Braginski.

P.S. Your username disgusts me. Perhaps you should log into your account, but this time ((instead of picking on people for some unfathomable reason)) change your username to something worthwhile. Such as, _RussiaIsCool_. See how it fits?

…

It takes awhile to get used to.

xx

_Translations in order:_

Да – _Yes_

Одинокий - _Lonely_

_I am soooooo obnoxious. :D _

_~PimpinSushi_


	24. From Finland

((~from PianoIsLove))

Privjet, Ivan!

It's Tino. I lived in your house until 1917, when we were the Russia and the Grand Duchy of Finland. And then, of course, our countries had a bunch of wars. :/

Anyhow, even though I know things have been tense between Russia and Finland as of late, because of trade, but that doesn't mean we can't still be on good terms, right?

Because, truth is, I do miss you at times. You always treated me well, and your Czar was good to my people. You encouraged me to rediscover the Finnish language instead of speaking Swedish, and at times we were very close.

I'm sorry, I know this must be a strange letter to receive, but I was wondering if we could perhaps start over? I would appreciate it.

Nakemiin,

Tino V.

((Not part of the letter: This sounds amazing! I'm definitely going to follow it. :D))

xx

Dear Tino,

It is so nice to hear from you! It has been awhile since the fallout and I have been quite worried. How have you been? How are the other Nordics?

Yes, things are quite tense with _Finland_ and _Russia, _but not necessarily Ivan and Tino, Да? . That is what I have always liked about our relationship… even after the harshest of times we can still come together and talk as if nothing bad ever happened. Speaking of which, I would love to get together sometime, and maybe you can bring some of Berwald's cinnamon rolls.

There is no need for thank you's. Your people were incredibly nice, smart, and cordial. I am immensely proud that you have rediscovered your roots, Tino. You are your own person, remember that. ((Even though the Finnish language is damn near impossible D: ))

No apologies necessary, like I said, it is nice hearing from you again.

Now… about those корицей рулонах :D

Sincerely Yours,

Иван Брагинский

xx

_Translations in order:_

Да – _Y_es

корицей рулонах – _cinnamon rolls_

Иван Брагинский – _Ivan Braginski_

_Thanks for the amazing compliment Piano-chan! I must say, I read "Finland's Letters to the World" ((if I got the title correct)) before you took it down ;D _

_But ohlawd, I didn't leave a letter because EVERY character was taken. D: _

_Although, Denmark's letters were the greatest, haha._

_Over and out._

_~PimpinSushi _


	25. From Canada II

((~from Hoshiko13))

Dear Ivan

Matthew again. I'm not sure what his name is. I think you may be right though. . .

I can't beat him up! He's my brother. Although I did yell at him that one time. . .

Yeah, I want to play too. Like I said, it's getting boring.

Err. . . Okay. I'll, um consider it.

Sometimes.

Xx

Hello again, Matvey!

Of course I'm right.. I'm Russia.

And wanna know something else?

I AM YOUR FATHER.

Okay, I'm kidding.

But anyway, you can beat Alfred up… if I am not mistaken, you have the same build as Alfred, don't you? If not bigger. He is definitely more of a brawler, with a bit more training and a backbone; you could take him down if you actually tried. Grow a pair, Matvey! You yelled at him? About what if I am allowed to ask?

Ah, I see. Is Canada dying down from the Winter Olympics? I could see how it could get a tad boring… out of curiosity, are you still embarrassed about messing up the opening ceremony?

… Извините for delving into deep waters D:

Please do consider it! Can you just imagine how much we could rule if we joined forces?

With love,

Иван Брагинский

xx

_Translations in order:_

Извините – _Sorry_

Иван Брагинский – _Ivan Braginski_

_Someone buy me a Cyrillic keyboard! D: _

_~PimpinSushi _


	26. From Indiana

((~from Grace in thy Heart))

Dear Ivan,

Second only to my Grandmother's homeland of Poland, you are my favorite character. Oh, but I am part Russian, too. I would gladly become one with you. You are very cute and sweet. I would like to visit you personally someday. When I go to University in two years, I will be minoring in Russian language and Slavic studies.

Good luck fighting the wildfire in your country, my heart breaks for you!

Love,

Gracie from Indiana

P.S. Sometimes living in Indiana makes you feel... Canadian. Nobody thinks about Indiana... Except Polish people. (We have Pierogi Fest every July... 200,000 Poles in one place!)

xx

Приветствия Indiana!

You are too sweet, Да? I am glad that you have Russian blood pouring through you, but a bit disappointed that it is shared with Polish…

At any rate, I am glad to hear you taking an interest in the language and Slavic studies. Be sure to remain diligent through your studies, and very.. uh… _aware_. If you are studying in America, they tend to badmouth Russian history, indirectly and purposefully…

Спасибо for the support! We are still trying to fight it thus far…

With more love,

Иван Брагинский

P.S. Ahah… how odd. I know a place where you can come and never be forgotten ;)

((200,000? I can barely stand one… good luck to you.))

xx

_Translations in Order:_

Приветствия – _Greetings._

Да – _Yes_

Спасибо – _Thank You_

Иван Брагинский – _Ivan Braginski_

_~PimpinSushi_


	27. From Savannah III

((~from cross-over-lover232))

dear ivan

i would think if englands cooking would be easy for a nation to overcome seeing as your group would only die if your contry did...well i'm not good with mentel wards the only ones i know of have long grisly historys and where shut down...maybe if you arange a marrige for her tell her its for the best and if you survie such and such amount of time with out one injury to the man you will do a romatic act with her?not wed her or...wedding night atives maybe go out for dinner? oh and well its not hard most of the time it rains so much they just sprout on their own i dont know why they die around you,what kind of mood are you in when around them?

savannah

xx

Dearest Savannah,

That is true… I didn't think about that. Would you mind giving me the names of these mental wards with grisly histories? Make sure they are far away please, and have intense maximum security… if it is haunted, that would be a bit of a plus.

Uh… I am sorry, I cannot follow your advice… well, grammatically, I mean. Are you suggesting I ask her to marry me, tell her I will… do… _things _with her if she waits a certain period of time… then when she realized I am standing her up, she will be so sad that she will leave me alone?

If that is what you are saying, your plan is too flawed… It involves me acting like I am not afraid of her, which is невозможное. Then actually sitting through a wedding with her? are you insane? D: On top of that, doing… _romantic acts? _With _Natalia? _EW. NEVER.

That is just… dammit, that is gross.

Ah, anyway… Alright, then clearly I must find rain… I will move to England and see how things work out for the sunflowers. I do not know why they die around me either D:

I am usually in a particularly good mood, especially when I tend to them. So I am not sure what is happening.

Sincerely Yours,

Иван Брагинский

xx

_Translations in order:_

Невозможное – _Impossible._

Иван Брагинский – _Ivan Braginski._

_~PimpinSushi _


	28. From Alberta

((~from Raining Sun))

Dear Ivan,

Why hello there! It's nice to meet you! You may or may not have heard if me, but I'm Alberta! My daddy Matthew speaks of you occasionally, about how he's a little nervous about what you might be saying about Uncle Alfred (sometimes he comes over and asks daddy to hide him) but that aside I was bored, and since everyone seems to be ignoring me I decided to write you a letter :D

I don't seem to be very well known, or if I am people tend to forget about me quickly :( do you have any tips on being more memorable?

Also, looking forward to seeing you at the Olympics in a few years!

Sincerely,

Alberta!

xx

Dear Alberta,

It is nice to meet you too, I suppose. I didn't know that your father and uncle's states/provinces were personified… considering Moscow and other parts of Russia are parts on my body. –shrug- But I guess that is why I have been receiving many letters from you guys.

Your father talks about me? That is so милый, Да? Is it possible that your daddy has a crush on me? ;D

Anyway, I can't believe your Uncle is such a coward. Well… actually, I can believe it. Please, take after your father when it comes to bravery -_-

You are forgotten as well? Is that hereditary in the William's family? Some genetic disorder? Anyway, if you want to be memorable, just join forces with me. That will show your brothers, sisters, and the rest of the world who you are and what you stand for :D Your membership comes with a free broomstick, ((You have to be upgraded to lead pipe, it is indeed a process)) a scarf, and borch. Hooray~

Same here, we have to clean up a bit first!

Sincerely Yours,

Иван Брагинский

xx

_Translations in order:_

Милый – _Cute_

Да – _Yes_

Иван Брагинский – _Ivan Braginski_

_Seriously, I always thought states, cities, and provinces were parts on the body. Not real people. If they were ALL people, well, god damn, that would be a heck of a lot of kids running around…_

_Guess I was wrong, haha._

_~PimpinSushi _


	29. From France

((~from HopelessfanofUSUK))

Dear Ivan

It is your favorite country of любовь(l'amour, love), France. I tried Russian, it is not as romantic or elegant as my beloved French but, it's ok I guess.

Do you know a way to shut Alfred up. He won't stop with his talk of burgers and fries at he says I made. I would not make such a gross food that would make someone so fat. It makes me cry that he calls them French fries. Please mon ami I don't need that American bothering me when I have important missions of l'amour to handle.

Like, claiming Angleterre as mine and he is blocking my ... Nevermind.

One, more thing mon ami. No offense but you have a bad sense in flowers. How can you like those freakishly tall and weird looking sun flowers when roses are so magnificent and they can be used to show l'amour, be in a beautiful garden or even be a fabulous tool of censorship even though the human body is art and needs no censoring.

Oh and one more thing. I know I lied. You are being really scary lately what's wrong. Is Belarus creeping on you more often, or do you just need me to grace you with my presence and French amour, mon cher.

With much amour,

Francis Bonnefoy

The country of l'amour

xx

Francis.

You are not my favourite country, you are a pain. Just thought I would throw that out there. Also, Russian is beautiful, make no mistake about that.

Uhh… why does everyone come to _me_ when they need a way to get rid of Alfred? I am not his keeper, have you tried asking Arthur?

Ah.. anyway, I would recommend showing him a salad or something.. or a whopper. ((Because "Dude, there is like, a HUGE difference between a Big Mac and a Whopper!" Give me a break.)) That should get him out of your hair, or why not try feeling him up? That is bound to get him away from you.

I think I've given all of my ideas… if it doesn't work, then he is your problem, not mine. Then you can tend to your missions of _l'amour, non?_

Which, by the way, everyone knows you want to claim Arthur. Alfred is the only one who is oblivious, so he does not know what he is doing; May I suggest professing your love at the next world meeting? Therefore, everyone will get the point and you can have Angleterre for yourself. :D

… Что?

I will have you know that roses are the most cliché flower there is… if that is the right word I'm looking for. They are incredibly predictable and disgustingly old-fashioned… they do not even smell that nice, and they are too high maintenance, if I may add. ((Oh geez, I wonder what he's getting me for Valentine's Day? Oh, right, roses again… See what I mean?)) Sunflowers are beautiful, and can represent practically anything… the sun, beauty, height; Roses are lame, Francis. Get over it :D

Hm? Scary? What makes you say that? Kolkol. I have been rather perky lately, seeing as how I am finally talking to many other countries, cities, and provinces. These letters are a really nice idea.

The best part is that things are looking up as far as people becoming one with me. Your little Matvey is already giving it consideration ;D

Do not _grace_ me with your precense. Спасибо

Sincerely Yours,

Иван Брагинский

xx

_Translations in order:_

Что? – _What?_

Спасибо – _Thank you_

Иван Брагинский – _Ivan Braginski_

_As far as Allies go, I've only gotten Matthew and Francis. Seriously? Where's Chugoku, Iggy, and Al? –is waiting- :3_

_Keep 'em comin'!_

_~PimpinSushi _


	30. From Colorado III

((~from sandyandmaxwellfanatic))

What's up, Ivan dude?

I DO reply quickly because I'm awesome and stuff, but I have nothing to do but wait for the tourists to come to my house in October. Would you like to go skiing at my house during Christmas? You could run brother Utah off his stupid snowboard for me.

I'm sorry about your headache with your government and whatnot. Even though you're half commie, I guess I could keep talking to you. :) You seem really nice, so yeah... Gosh, I hope Georgia doesn't see this letter... Or worse, South Carolina...

Did you know sunflowers grow in Colorado nearly all year long? You can find them in everyone's backyard and stuff.

From the best winter athelete ever,

Colorado :D

xx

Здравствуйте еще раз, Colorado!

You reply faster because you're awesome? I think it is because you are more "bored" than "awesome".

But I suppose if that is the case, my replies are quicker because I am clearly more awesome ;D

((Prussia speak? ))

Either way, if you have lots of spare time, perhaps you should come visit me, Да? I will do the same around Christmas.

During these visits, we will discuss things of the upmost importance, such as the Olympics, Music, Culture, Arts, and TAKING OVER THE WORLD.

Joking, joking. But I am serious about talking about the Olympics, kicking your butt never gets old ;D

I would love to go skiing! I just need new equipment… my sister destroyed all of it while raiding my home…

The headaches are okay, they only happen on rare occasions. In which case, I just sleep through it. If they are that bad, I just take an aspirin.

Спасибо, Colorado! I am glad you do not find me scary or anything, lots of people do. Because of this, it can get rather lonely in my house. You are rather nice as well, I bet you're also pretty behind all of these letters! At any rate, do not let your siblings intimidate you. Do what you want with whomever you want.

.. They do? Really? Would you mind sending me some? Or better yet, keep them there and tend to them because they would not survive in my harsh climate. But I really want some!

You signed your letter "from the best winter athlete ever", clearly, you must be talking about me, да?

С любовью,

Иван Брагинский

xx

_Translations in order: _

Здравствуйте еще раз – _Hello again_

Да – _Yes_

Спасибо – _Thank you_

С любовью – _With love_

Иван Брагинский – _Ivan Braginski_

_Writing this made me smile. Not sure why, thanks sam :)_

_~PimpinSushi _


	31. From Japan

((~from NekoNekoNYA))

Dear Ivan,

Konnichiwa (Hello). It is I, Kiku Honda, the country of where the sun rises. I am writing to ask you a favor - I assume that you have most control over the Allies, hai (yes)? Would you please ask that obnoxious Alfred to stop raiding my house and trying to teach me "American games"? It is becoming quite troublesome. I already have Feliciano to look after, and Ludwig.

Arigatou gozaimasu to dewa mata, (Thank you and until next time)

Kiku Honda

PS: Natalia has shown up at my house as well, asking if I knew where you were. I have told her I do not know, and sent her on her way. Was this the correct thing to do?

xx

Dear Japan,

Well, hello! How have you been? I have been waiting for your letter for awhile now, are you busy or something?

Well, I guess you could say I have the most control, but that is not necessarily a good thing…

Серьезно?

That is the favor you needed? I swear, some of you nations need to grow a backbone and stand up to Alfred. All in all, he is not very intimidating… in fact, he is kind of an idiot. When it comes to people like Alfred, it can be kind of hard to get your point across.. but with a bit of force he will eventually get the message and back off. Agh… I will ask him, but I cannot guarantee fast results. In the event that he does go back to your house, show him your Katana skills. ((I know you have them.))

Ah, Feleciano and Ludwig? Those two can be quite high maintenance, one more so than the other. How are the relations between those two, by the way?

Oh wait, I do not think that is any of my business… that is something I should ask Ludwig or Feleciano themselves. Forgive my being nosey. D:

Good bye and Good luck,

Иван Брагинский

xx

_Translations in order:_

Серьезно – _Seriously?_

Иван Брагинский – _Ivan Braginski_

_Yayy! Nihon!_

_~PimpinSushi _


	32. From Ranchdressing III

((~from Ranchdressing))

Dear Ivan,

Yeah, being inside of Alfred (California FTW!), all I get is crap about Miley Cyrus. So in return, I send him locations of "super awesome houses", which are really hunted houses. I have a video tape of his reactions. Enjoy!

If he doesn't leave you alone, I'm sorry. Instead, tell him that MacDonalds have been brought out by Burger King and The King is waiting for him at his house. Be sure that, if you do use this idea, you have someone dress like The King holding a plate with a Whooper on it. They MUST constantly follow him, silently, and ALWAYS watch him. Even while he's sleeping. Videotape the results. :3

Goodbye and good day,

Ranchdressing.

P.S.- Lol. I get that alot. I chose the name because I personally can't stand the stuff. :)

P.S.S.- I see. I'm sorry to hear that. Have you tried using Arthur's cooking to slow her down? Don't feed it to her, just tell her that you would and show it to her.

xx

Dear Ranchdressing,

California? Well damn, I pity you. You are caught right in the middle of all the gossip about "famous" people. D: ((What Americans consider "famous" and what Russians consider famous are two completely different kinds of "famous")) I do like hearing about Lady GaGa though…

That is a good way to get back at Alfred, perhaps I will use it at some point!

Which reminds me, I tried your plan about making him watch "The Ring", calling him, and then whispering "Seven Days".

It did not work… he has Caller ID…

You seem to know a lot about Amerika's опасения, you would not happen to have some sort of personal vendetta against him, would you? ((Maybe we can ban together and take over the world. Have a nice home in Moscow where we gossip about how much we do not like Alfred~))

That side, are the tapes included with this letter? I have not received a package or anything.

… Wow, you must be a genius. If I was your father, I would be insanely proud! The King even scares me at times, and I'm the Russian Federation… Just imagine Alfred's reactions :D

I wonder who I would get to dress up as the King, know anybody reliable?

Sincerely Yours,

Иван Брагинский

P.S. Personally, I cannot stand Ranch dressing either… Myself and many Italian dressings do not get along for that matter.

P.P.S. Hm… perhaps I will try that… You wouldn't happen to be a mad scientist or anything, would you? Your ideas are genius.

xx

_Translations in order: _

Опасения – _Fears_

Иван Брагинский – _Ivan Braginski_

_I guess I would know a thing or two about odd usernames. Lol._

_The story is as follows:_

_I like Pimps, and I like Sushi._

_Turn "Pimps" into an adjective, not a verb. You can't make "Sushi" prostitutes._

_I don't like "eating" Sushi, I just like the "word" Sushi. I is a vegetarian –nod- _

_And then BAM. _

_Beast, right? _

_~PimpinSushi _


	33. From Nebraska II

((~from bunnyrabbitOFDOOM))

Dear Ivan,

I'm one of Nebraska's kids! Not Nebraska! Granddad Alfred doesn't really like that my name is Ivan though. But daddy just says shut up.

I do have a scarf! It's light blue! My sister said next thing I know, I'll be saying kolkolkol but that would be stealing what you say and that's not very nice!

I'm gonna go pick flowers now! Bye!

Sincerely, Victory Ivan

P.S I have sunflowers!

xx

Dear Nebraska,

Well… uhm…

Let's just call you Nebraska; because that is too many kids to count and I cannot go back and change my letter. Nor do I want to…

Anyway, your interest in scarf intrigues me! We should go scarf shopping one day. I do need a new shopping partner anyway... Last time, Feliks was my shopping partner, and he bejeweled all of my clothing!

Little bitch.

So now I would like someone else to accompany. Would you mind?

I have catalogues we can look through, oh, how fun! :D

When it comes to my laugh, I do not mind if you "steal" it; it is nice when people take after me. But remember to use it in the right way, and by that, I mean do not go "kolkol"-ing in awkward places.

Like restaurant bathrooms… no matter how amusing a tampon box in the Men's room is.

Have fun with picking flowers,

Иван Брагинский

xx

_Translations in order: _

Иван Брагинский – _Ivan Braginski _

_Thanks for the compliment on Chapter 23, by the way! :D_

_~PimpinSushi _


	34. From Savannah IV

((from ~cross-over-lover232))

dear ivan

well most mentel wards have been shut down due to the er bad backgrounds and what i ment was:one of those three states you have liveing with you toris maybe?has a huge russia sized crush on the girl even saying that he held hands with her..in reality the dude had his fingers crushed by her so hitch her off to that dude and every once in a while have dinner with her..at a table a mile long you on one end her on the sunflowers also need sun maybe move to greece for a while?its nice and sunny with lots of history

xx

Dear Savannah,

Ah, I see… when we say bad backgrounds, are we talking ghosts, beheadings, dismembered bodies, and vomit on the ceiling? That is actually the _minimum_ requirement D:

Hmm… pair up my сестра and Литва? Toris has mentioned how he has a crush on her… although, I think his feelings are unrequited. At any rate, Toris is used to torture, Да? So maybe setting him up on a date with Natalia will be okay. ((Though, I do have a bit of a problem sharing him…))

I will give those dinners consideration… but I cannot guarantee I want to be in the same room as her. I think she will rape me…

Move to Greece? Ah… I am fine here in Россия, Спасибо.

With Love,

Иван Брагинский

xx

_Translations in order:_

Сестра – _Sister_

Литва – _Lithuania_

Да – _Yes_

Россия – _Russia_

Спасибо – _Thank You._

_So like, I was most definitely listening to Opera 2 by Vitas while writing this letter, and I must say… Vitas is the personification of Ivan Braginski. _

_He is ridiculously tall._

_He is Russian._

_He's a creeper._

_He wears many scarves._

_Not many people know about him, cuz I mean, what are the chances? His videos are on youtube, I would suggest looking up "Opera 2" on YouTube. He can certainly hit one hell of a high note o_o _

_Oh, and I think he's hot~_

_Over and out._

_~PimpinSushi _


	35. From Haiti III

((~from Kiki4ever))

Ivan,

-_-; ...why do i even bother, I wonder, even writing to you? I really need to prioritize.

But anyway.

Cuba is my FRIEND and he would never attack me. So suck on that, macici ( incase you didnt know, that means F A G C:). And me rude? At least i dont frikon harass the whole fucking planet! Blame American Propoganda! Ha! I have Alfred on my side! And he hates you~ But, i was raised to apologize for misdemeanors so I am sorry but dont expect better in the future -_-;

And yes I am going towards is wierd but everyone else has fucking screwed me over and I'm SICK of it. Its not like i have anyone better out there. But i shouldnt be telling you my personal problems. You are, as you can see, not my favorite person in the world.

Sunflowers as humans? Huh, quite poetic. Something i would've never expected from someone like you. It makes sense, ill give you that.

...did you just call me a bitch? Ah, Ive heard worst. Im just glad u didnt call me fat...T-T (IM NOT CRYING, I SWEAR)

Bye, Ivan

-The Republic of Haiti, Stephanie J.B.

P.S: l'amour? OMFG that word. *shudders* That does set him off but i doubt he would. I'm the reason he has only one ball C:

P.P.S: so now you say I'm ugly and a bitch? ._. my people are beautiful though I cant say the same about me...DAMN U fOR MAKInG ME SELF COnSIOuS NOWWWW TT-TT (those are not teardrops...I SWEAR)

(((to PimpinSushi: Your username=epic win :3)))

xx

Hello again, Haiti!

Maybe you bother writing because you are secretly in love with me. You cannot withhold your longing for my Russian charm, and express it through insulting me with letters ;D

Just admit it, for you know it to be true.

((Plus, you also think I am милый, admit it. Lying does not suit a young lady such as yourself))

Excuse me, Stephanie, but your "friend" is a bit more power hungry than you believe him to be. If I tell him that he'll have eternal life by jumping off of a building, he will do it in the hopes that he will actually live forever. Can you not see he is trying to follow in my example and become more powerful? Though, his attempts are in vain. Cuba is very easy to manipulate, he is a puppet, and I can be his puppeteer. Kolkol~

You are quite rude; I only insulted you because you insulted me first! And by the way, harassing is a sport, not a hobby.

You're going to bring _Alfred_ into this? Of all people? You may as well go into battle with a stick and an ego. And I accept your извинение ;D

Well, I do hope he has plans for you. What does he plan to do if he is elected into office? Did you look into that? Or are you choosing him because he is a pop star… And I am not insulting you, this is a genuine question. Many people vote based on popularity rather than standards, and frankly, I find it quite sickening.

Oh, but Stephanie, you are my best friend, да? You can certainly talk about your problems with me! : )

You were not crying? But your letter was a bit damp…

Ah, I will just collect your tears later and put them in a vodka bottle. After all, that is what Vodka is made of, tears! :D

Kidding, kidding. Even _I _have standards.

До свидания и Хорошего дня,

Иван Брагинский

P.S. … you… castrated him? My, that is certainly intense. o_o

P.P.S. Oh Stephanie, please, do not worry about your looks. I know that you are a very beautiful girl, да ? Your features certainly fit your personality. ((Which is also beautiful, abrasive, but still beautiful.)) I do not understand why girls are so self conscious about their appearance; Have you seen the size of my нос? I do not go around complaining about it… Anyway, you are pretty. So shut up.

xx

_Translations in order:_

Милый – _Cute_

Извинение – _Apology _

Да – _Yes_

До свидания и Хорошего дня – _Goodbye and Have a nice day_

Иван Брагинский – _Ivan Braginski_

Нос – _Nose_

_Thank you, Kiki-chan :D _

_As I have mentioned before, I like Pimps, and I like Sushi. Hurhur. _

_I really like writing to you, you're really funny XD_

_I never imagined Haiti and Russia wouldn't get along. Who would have thought? _

_~PimpinSushi _


	36. From France II

((~HopelassfanofUSUK))

Dear Ivan,

Francis again. Isn't it obvious why everyone goes to you about are american friend. Despite how much you two say you hate each other you really don't. I know love well and I'm very sure that you love him despite your history.

Now I have already tried shown him something healthy, he asks me what it is as I he has never seen it before and talks even more. We all know that you wouldn't want me laying a finger on America.

Now Arthur and moi, we are a little more difficult than that. He is very shy about admitting he has any kind of feelings for anyone. So, that would not help me.

Roses are not cliché, they are a romantic staple, there is a difference. Sunflowers are lame, get over that,да.

xx

Hello again, Francis

First off, if you knew_ l'amour_ so well then why are you still single? Kolkol, see what I did there?

And second, I hate that American. How would I acknowledge somebody who eats like an animal, talks like an idiot, and acts like he talks, as even a friend? Let alone a lover. Alfred and I have "done the deed", quite a few times, but point blank, I could never show any form of love to such a дебил

Alright, Frenchie? So there go your dreams of a happy ending to the Cold War.

If I happen to get into a relationship anytime soon, it has to be with someone who is remotely compatible with me, such as Matvey! :D

The previous ideas didn't work, huh? Try reading him a ghost story. Or better yet, just get naked. Then he'll run away! ((Oooh~ Got you twice in one letter. I am on.. how you say, a "roll"?))

Complicated? Really? Your relationship seems a bit two-dimensional from my point of view. You stalk him, he hates you. You have had sex already, and we all know it. ((That is beginning to sound oddly familiar…)) Shy, huh? From what I have heard, he is not as timid when he is drunk.

Offer him a spiked drink at the world meeting, profess your love, and he will do the same. You will get together, leave us all alone, and everyone is happy. Right, _mon ami_?

Nice argument, I am still not convinced.

Sunflowers are much better than roses and you are merely jealous. What is with you Frenchman and your obsessions with roses anyway? ((Beauty and the Beast was centered around one entire rose! Geez o_o))

Sunflowers Roses.

xinfinity.

Stop being such a pansy about it, Francis. The sooner you admit it, the sooner you can come to terms with it.

See you around!

Иван Брагинский

xx

_Translations in order:_

Дебил – _Moron_

Иван Брагинский – _Ivan Braginski_

_Love you guys!_

_~PimpinSushi _


	37. From Canada III

((~from Hoskiko13))

Dear Ivan

This is Matthew again. I forgot his name. Not like he remembers me anyway.

WAIT WHAT?

Oh, you scared me. Don't do that! Plus, I don't have anyone to train me. If I actually tried to get someone to, I'd show up and they wouldn't see me. . . Plus, I forgot what it was. We both put it out of our minds.

Gahh! don't get me started on that.

Err. . . I'll have to get back to you. I did manage to get rid of Alfred for a bit though. Told him something about Author and Francis. He left really quickly.

Bye for now. . .

Matthew~

xx

Dearest Matvey,

Haven't you been feeding him for hundreds of years? The fact that he does not remember you is a bit odd, your personality is quite endearing, if not memorable. Buuut, if it is acknowledgement you want, I can _gladly_ give it to you! Just visit me anytime; we can talk music, politics, art, and the works, да?

Anyway, do not be frightened… if I was your father I would have had to have you at an incredibly young age, not to mention, I would have to be pregnant. And male pregnancies are biologically, and physically impossible. ((Not to mention just plain weird.))

At any rate, I could train you! I have the proper experience, a bit of spare time, and the build for stamina and rough training. But you will have to report to Moscow every morning at 6am sharp, wear a sweatshirt, sweat pants, running shoes, and tie your hair back as well. ((That being said, I don't think you're going to get a lot of sleep)) And do not worry, I can see you.

But even then, perhaps your invisibility is more of an advantage than anything. You can be incredibly sneaky with it. Is that not how you got the Netherlands back from Ludwig?

Aw, such a shame. I would have loved to hear that story D:

Lol, why? Did I push your button? :D

Don't worry, the Russians and the rest of the human population didn't laugh when the last stair got stuck.

Oh, good thing you got rid of him. Speaking of those two, your beloved _Papa_ has been sending me letters, practically asking for dating advice. He is more affectionate than I imagined him to be, да? He is also prodding me for being single. How do you put up with such… _l'amour._ Gag D:

Anyway, see you later, Matvey!

Иван Брагинский

P.S. With this letter comes a bottle of our brand of Maple Syrup, I wanted your reactions on it. Our syrup is a bit different from yours. Пользоваться! :D

xx

_Translations in order: _

Да – _Yes_

Иван Брагинский – _Ivan Braginski_

Пользоваться – _Enjoy _

_I'm such a high ass shipper for Russia/Canada._

_Does that make me a heartless monster?_

…

_Yes. Yes it does. D:_

_~PimpinSushi _


	38. From America

((~from justinewhitlock4eva))

Heya Commie!

I really don't know why I am bothering to write you a letter. I have more Heroic things to attend to besides that and I need to go get some hamburgers while they have the two for one special at McDonalds! Oh yeah and you really creep me out even though hero's do not get scared but you're like pure evil or something :D

Not yours,

Alfred F. Jones

A.K.A America

xx

Alfred.

Why I am not surprised?

You are bothering to write me because you secretly wish I was your best friend, do not worry, I went through this exact same process with Haiti ;D

Other heroic things? I know how alien paranoia, gaining 10 lbs. per minute, and ghost hunting can be time consuming. ((Sarcasm~))

By the way, did you know that your states and capitals have been writing me? They are... quite интересный characters, if I do say so myself. ;)

Oh my… Please refrain from choking on those grease balls you call food, too many paramedics need to stay by your side because you eat too fast.

…Eh, or maybe eat as fast as you possibly can. Make believe you are breaking a world record for _heroic_ purposes.

Creepy? Pure evil? What makes you say that? Kolkol~

With hate,

Иван Брагинский

P.S. With this letter comes Slim Fast and diet pills, enjoy.

xx

_Translations in order:_

Интересный – _Interesting_

Иван Брагинский – _Ivan Braginski_

_FINALLY. A LETTER FROM ALFRED!_

_I was totes waiting for it, and now it's here! Thanks Justinewhitlock4eva :D_

_I hope I wasn't too mean… I love Alfred F. Jones! I should know, I live on his penis. _

_And now I await letters from the Baltics._

_After all, Ivan's vodka is made out of Latvia's tears!_

_~PimpinSushi _


	39. From Spain

((~from Dawns Eternal Twilight))

Dear Ivan,

This is Antonio, we don't communicate much do we? Because of that I decided to write you this letter. So we may crecer más cerca in relations.

I have been wondering for some time now why is it that no black magic can work on you? To most countries that would seem weird but to me it is an interesting puzzle.

Also I have been having some trouble with Romano, he dosent seem to be able to clean anything properly. Every day I come home and the house is worse off than when I left, do you have any special Russian techniques for teaching?

In hopes of further communication,

Spain

PS: I don't think your creepy just...interesting

PPS: Do you know how to keep France away from Romano? He just dosent know when to stop...

xx

Hello Antonio!

How nice it is to receive a letter from you, and Нет, we do not communicate as often as we should. But that all changes now, Да? I am glad you decided to write; for I am actually trying to grow a tomato farm. Due to the fires, I am trying to rebuild many of the charred land, and I could use a lot of advice on it. Who better than _España_ themselves, да?

I would love to _crecer más cerca con usted_. :D I just need to take care of some business first.

((Spanish just seems to roll off the tongue))

No black magic works on me because apparently, my "aura" outweighs that of the actual spell. Meaning, my cunning cancels out the cunning of the magic itself, rendering it ineffective.

… At least, that's what I've heard. Haha…

Oh, this is a simple case of "Lack of Discipline." Personally, I would suggest beating him until he gets a clear picture of his position in the house… but I know you would never actually do that, Antonio. But I want to tell you, If you continue to baby Romano the way you do he will grow up to be irritable and mean.

So perhaps you should confiscate some of the things he loves, such as women, money, and tomatoes. Only reward him when he does what he has to do, and only give him _one_, I repeat, _ONE_ tomato per chore. понимаете?

That way, he knows he can't get whatever he wants whenever he wants it, and he is aware of who is the head of the household.

It was nice talking to you, Spain! I hope to keep in touch as well.

Иван Брагинский

P.S. спасибо :O I don't understand why people are afraid of me!

P.P.S. Tell him there is nothing he can gain by conquering Romano. ((Seriously.)) If that does not work, threaten to break his Eiffel Tower. And you know what Eiffel Tower I am talking about.

xx

_Translations in order:_

Нет – _No_

Да – _Yes_

Иван Брагинский – _Ivan Braginski_

Спасибо – _Thank You_

_Question for Dawns Eternal Twilight_

_you wouldn't happen to speak Spanish, would you? :O_

_~PimpinSushi_


	40. From Texas III

((from~zelda03))

Dear Ivan,

Wait, I think I know what Alaska wants...that pervert. I have no clue if Alfred knows about my porn collection, if he doesn't, i should show .Alaska likes salmon? I wish i knew that know, I think Alaska is gay for me, beacuse if she doesn't like the heat, she would never come would also explain the stalking, groping, and the mean glares she gives to Tennesse everytime we go if she does have a crush on me, then why would i need to get the hell away?

But bieng independent agian would be awesome! It'll make feel like I was when I was a teenager, ahh, good , Alfred won't deny anything from me, well if he remembers what happend last time he did. If I have virgin ears, then, then, Hawaii isin't plotting to do something evil... I will let them know, except Hawaii, I highly doubt they'll belive me.I think I will call Ludwig, beacuse I made the mistake of nearly beating the last mechanic nearly to death. My boss took away Betsy, I'm sad now.

Hawaii...wanting...my...babies?Why did you say that! Hawaii is a...a...a canabalistic, rapist, plotting whore! She's creepy! She acts all nice and shit to Alfred and my other siblings, but she isin't nice or adorable or cute! She's PURE EVIL. I still haven't forgotten the time she tried to eat my arm and other body parts! Alfred still doesn't belive it was her, but I know, I KNOW!Yes, I understand now, I'm sorry for ever saying .Don'.. be honest, I think adpoting your surname would be awesome...and slightly amusing.

-Texas-

P.S. Hmm that sounds like a somewhat good idea. I'll try it!

xx

Well hello there, Texas!

I'll start by telling you that my child, Alaska is not a pervert! That is utter foolishness. She is incredibly young and if anything, she is still.. uh, finding her identity. If she is there, I highly doubt it is for your porn collection. The Braginski's do not indulge in such disgusting pleasures. Anyway, I actually doubt Alfred would be too surprised by your collection, he is your father after all. And he has quite a stash as well o_o

She loves Salmon! It is a very high export in her land; I think she eats it every day. Salmon for her is like Vodka for me… which is uh… -fill in the blank- for you. What _is_ your favourite food? I hear you Texans are big in the barbecue scene.

Да. I believe her to be "gay for you" as well, if she is doing all of the things you have stated before. She doesn't really try to hide it, seeing as how her father is a bit… uh, well… point is, she doesn't try to hide it. And I suggested you get out of there because… _seriously, _she is Alaska. Do you _need_ a reason?

((She is a bit… uhm, forward. And if you do not respond, there are consequences o_o ))

Ohoho, I do not like thinking about my teenage days. As we all know, my history is a long and кровавый one. But I do remember kicking lots of ass, now _those_ are the things I like to remember. Good times, Да? Let's get together and reminisce sometime. Have you ever tried borsch? It is delicious!

… Dear me, I did not realize Hawaii was such a character. She seems so innocent at the meetings. And if what you say is true, then she has fooled every single one of us!

What a bitch :O

She tried to eat you? I must say, that is a bit extreme. Perhaps you should lure her into a secluded place… with cameras, bugs, and all. Get her to confess her being "creepy" and then you have the evidence to back it up. Show it to Alfred when you leave said room…alive. Or have Alfred hide while you talk to Alaska. If she attempts to eat you again, Alfred will see it, and problem solved!

And… if it just so happens you do not wish to be in the same room as her, at least she is the "odd-one-out" state, Да? She is very far from you, and it is very hard for her ((Not to mention inconvenient)) to travel such distances to patronize you. How often does she do this sort of thing? Well, at the very least know you know understand how I feel about Belarus. How scary she is, and why I do not want to marry her. She is absolutely terrible o_o

Hah, I can easily get your last name changed, you know? I do have connections ;D Nicole _Braginski._

Sincerely Yours,

Иван Брагинский

P.S. How is it working out for you? I hope well.

xx

_Translations in order: _

Да – _Yes_

Кровавый – _Bloody_

Иван Брагинский – _Ivan Braginski_

_So I like, totes had band practice today._

_And I was recovering from a cold, plus, I didn't eat today because I didn't find time._

_It was also incredibly hot and we have to play, mind you!_

_And I fainted._

_Like, right in the middle of the practice field._

_Ohlawd, was it embarrassing. XD_

_If this was a fanfic, I would make it so that when I woke up, I would be cradled by Ivan, and Matt would offer me awesome Canadian-brand pancakes. _

_But this isn't a fanfic. D: _

_So see you next letter!_

_~PimpinSushi _


	41. From Finland II

((~from PianoIsLove))

((Aww, thank you so much! I really appreciate that you read it. :D It means so much to me that people actually read what comes out of my head. xD Denmark's letters cracked me up, as well. :D))

Moi, Ivan!

It's nice to hear from you as well- but please don't worry about me! I'm more worried about you. I heard about all the fires (some of the smoke clouds even crossed my border) and I'm horrified at what has happened to Moscow. Do you need to stay anywhere for a while? Because I do live on my own now, and you're certainly welcome as a guest.

It's very true that we should keep personal relations separate from national ones...you're right. I really appreciate that you can put this all into perspective. :)

I've been doing pretty well. The weather in Helsinki is beautiful now, and I haven't been working too hard lately, so I can't complain. You know how crazy things can get when I'm busy. xP You must be swamped right now, with the crisis, so I'm sorry if I'm taking up too much of your time with this letter. I really hope that you're okay.

The Nordics are doing pretty well, but I don't get to see them as often as I'd like to anymore now that we all live apart. Denmark and Norway are doing pretty well, last I've heard, and even though I can never really tell from Berwald and Iceland, I hope that they're okay as well. I'd feel awkward asking Berwald to make you cinnamon rolls, but I could make you some pulla if you'd like. :D It's pretty much the same thing, except a million times better.

Wow, I'm quite flattered! Thank you very much; I'm really glad you feel that way about my people. I love Russia, and Russians, as well. You're all so affectionate- it was something to get used to when Putin did the cheek kiss thing with Tarja. xD I really miss the Neva river, where we used to go fishing together. Do you still vacation there sometimes?

Please stay well; you're in my prayers. D:

Nakemiin, Tino V.

xx

Здравствуйте еще раз, Tino!

Well, I guess I can't help but worry when it comes to you. We are good friends, да?

Hm… the fires are getting harder to control as we speak. Airports are backing up and many flights are being delayed; many of our wheat farms are disappearing, and as a result, wheat prices will increase worldwide because that is a really big export from my motherland. Also, the smog is converting to carbon monoxide and many people are losing their lives… It is an incredibly depressing time right now… I do hope we can figure this out soon… And Нет, I cannot leave my people to stay at your house. Not at a time like this. Спасибо for the offer though, it was incredibly thoughtful!

My, this letter has taken a depressing turn, hasn't it? Forgive me for being so pessimistic.

On another note, humans and nations are quite different, that is true, but we still have to be careful… It is safe to be friends within… reasons, I suppose. ((As horrible as that sounds.)) We are indeed the personifications of our countries, and our human emotions can get in the way of the country itself… ((Sometimes they turn out beneficial though, like Hungary marrying Austria)) But they are also beneficial here. You and I are awesome friends!

Is that so? I heard Finland was going through some environmental problems, ((But hell… who isn't trying to "go green" these days? Also, I apologize for the smog crossing your border!)) But do not worry, your letter is not taking up much of my time. I love writing to you! :D And yes, weather in Helsinki is indeed beautiful.

Do you guys not get together that often? You are still very close in relations though, right? I would love if you bring your Finnish cinnamon rolls this way, and if they are better than Berwald's, then… Wow, those are amazing cinnamon buns!

Speaking of Berwald, is he still going around proclaiming you as your wife? I know you hated it, but I always giggled a bit when he would say such things about the both of you.

Also, this is kind of off topic, but if I were to describe you two's relationship in one song, it would be "Something There" from the Beauty and the Beast Soundtrack. ((You know, you're the "Beauty" right? Kolkolkol…))

We should also make Denmark "Mrs. Potts" just to piss him off. ((:D))

Приглашаем Вас, but it is merely the truth. I love the Finnish people as well; also, they produce some nice music. ((I do enjoy "The Rasmus" from time to time.)) Russians are indeed affectionate, who would not want a hug from Ivan Braginski~?

Да, I do vacation here at times. Although, now a days I do not find any spare time for leisure, just business, eating, drinking, and more business. Haha.

With Love,

Иван Брагинский

xx

_Translations in order:_

Здравствуйте еще раз – _Hello again_

Да – _Yes_

Нет – _No _

Спасибо – _Thank You _

Приглашаем Вас – _You're Welcome _

Иван Брагинский – _Ivan Braginski _

_You're very welcome~! _

"_How can you understand someone who t'lk's l'k th's 'll th' t'm?" Hurhur. _

_I'm glad people are enjoying Ivan's Letters as well; I never thought it would get so popular _

_This is the longest letter so far, haha. _

_Oh, and I saw your DP. You're so pretty! :O_

_~PimpinSushi _


	42. From Uzbekistan II

((~from 101riot-girl))

dear Russia-tan,

As much as my sister and I would like to we can't.~stupid boss~

Right now we have that Amerika to deal with.~ablah(bastard)amerika~ If you may the next time you see him would you please cause bodily harm to him and tell him not to call a "uzbek commie."

from,

Uzbekistan.

xx

Hello Uzbekistan,

Why it is that every time someone wants to become one with me some other person interrupts them, and tells them it is a bad idea? Am I that bad? I do not see the disadvantages of becoming my eternal mind sla- I mean, friend. -_-

How old are you? If you are an appropriate age, I do not see why your boss should have any sort of control over you.

Anyway, I will be sure to cause him all kinds of bodily harm, you can bet on it, Да? :D

Keep in touch!

Иван Брагинский

xx

_Translations in order:_

Да – _Yes_

Иван Брагинский – _Ivan Braginski_

_Hey guys!_

_My mom bought me some Juicy Juice! _

_o_o_

_I haven't had Juicy Juice since I was like, SIX!_

_HEIESWIHDKUWRE._

_Oh, nostalgia~ _

_-drinks happily-_

_~PimpinSushi _


	43. From Colorado IV

((~from sandyandmaxwellfanatic))

Hihi Ivan, the half commie ~waves~

Nah, I'm more awesome than bored b/c I take a five mile jog each morning, have a lunch break, play baseball with the college kids at the University of Colorado in Boulder, bike to some of the mountains nearby, then come back home. (Or I go camping.) So next time you say I'm bored, a part of me will die inside.

I'll come to your house when your ski resorts are open, m' kay? After we talk about how awesome 3oh!3 is, then you can spend Christmas with me and Wyoming :) Just please... don't bring your crazy sister, but bring a friend! And I got skiing gear for cha.

Um... I don't wanna take over the world, Ivan. I just want to beat you in 2014.

I guess I'm pretty, that's why California is trying to gang up on me. ~shudders~ He's turning Colorado Springs into LA, what should I do? DX

Fine, I pick some sunflowers and keep 'em in my house for ya. But if I forget to water them, don't kill me.

... You don't think I'm bipolar, do you? Mexico is poking fun at me for my strange weather. I'M NOT BIPOLAR, AHAHAHAHAHA, I'm not! I'm so happy! Please ignore the teardrops on this letter. XD

Vodka sucks, have a Coors. :)

I signed the letter "from the best winter athelete" because I was referring to ME.

Peace,

Colorado (You can just call me Brenda.)

P.S. ... You think I'm pretty? :D

xx

Добрый вечер, Brenda!

You do all of those things? Then… wow, how are you finding the time to write to me? Anyway, please do not strain yourself so much that you become a female body builder… ((The sight is kind of disturbing…)) If you promise me that, I will refrain from calling you "bored." :D

That is fine, but do not expect the resorts to be open anytime soon. However, when the time arrives, we should definitely visit "Krasnaya Polyana". It is a Russian ski/snowboarding resort and it is much more intense than any wimpy resort in Colorado. I am sure you are up for a challenge, Да?

_After_ we talk about how awesome 3OH!3 is? What do you mean, after? If that is the case, I suppose you will never come to my resorts because 3OH!3 is definitely not _awesome._ You take two pretty boys, add a predictable techno beat, take the area code from their hometown and "experiment" with it to make it look cool, and you want to call that music? Give me a break. If you want music, you should listen to "Vitas" or "TATU". They are Russian, amazing, and most importantly, Russian ;D

That aside, I do not mind spending Christmas with you! That should certainly be fun, because we Russians celebrate Christmas a couple of days after you Americans do, so I get twice the presents, Да? Make sure to get me Sunflowers, and do not forget to water them. ((Not Vodka though, American vodka is light compared to mine.)) In return, I will buy you a nifty scarf. I also need a bit of help; I have no idea what to get my dear sister for Christmas... ((Not the _stabbing give-me-incest-now _one, the _nice_ one)) I am sure she is sick of hair clips, but she does not like me giving her money for a breast reduction, any help?

Please, Colorado, you have a better chance of taking over the world than beating me in 2014. :)

Bipolar? You? Nonsense! ((If we were going off of weather, than Russians would be cold, distant, icy, and scary… and we are none of those things!))

Well, there was a time I used to think all women were bipolar, but now I know that they are just all insane. With this letter comes a pat on the back, please accept it. I arranged for a man with my height and hair color to appear at your door in about ten minutes, that way, it'll feel like the real Иван is patting you in the back. Genius, Да?

Do not insult what you have never tried! Beer sucks and I can say that because I have tried it before. I can get more of a buzz off of water than I could off of Coors. So shut up and have the vodka bottle enclosed with this letter. :D

"The best winter athlete ever"? Quit lying to yourself. You sound like a git. ((England speak?))

Until next time, Brenda

Иван Брагинский

P.S. Да. You look like someone I know, though. The similarities are kind of eerie.

xx

_Translations in order: _

Добрый вечер – _How are you (?) _

Да – _Yes._

Иван - _Ivan_

Иван Брагинский – _Ivan Braginski_

_For the people who said that I'm in character with Ivan, Muchas Gracias!_

_I was really scared about that sort of thing, but I could always use a little more feedback if you don't mind. _

_Please and Thank You!_

_~PimpinSushi _


	44. From Alberta II

((from ~Raining Sun))

Dear Ivan,

HI! It's me again, good old (or not-so-old) Alberta! ...Does Daddy have a crush on you? I'm not really sure. Maybe? I should ask him. It would be cool if you were my Uncle ;D

... O_O

Phew, that was close. He walked in just as I was writing that last part. I think he suspects me now.

You know, it's kinda boring over here. I think I WILL join forces with you!~ (Plus, I kinda want that scarf~ It gets pretty cold here in the winter XD) ...If Daddy lets me, that is.

Sincerely,

Alberta!

xx

Why hello, Alberta!

It is nice to hear from you again. o_o You really think your father likes me? Well, I was simply kidding, but I would be delighted if he did! I will definitely take him to his favourite restaurant as a first date… ((IHOP? That does not seem very romantic…))

I would appreciate it if you asked him… and uhm, I do not think I would be your uncle per say… ((For me to be your Uncle, I would have to be related to Matthew)) I think I would be your Father, and your current father would turn into your mother. Meaning, Matthew and I would be your parents, Hoorah! For I am definitely the male figure of a household, Да?

Oh, are you speaking of Alfred? If he sees this

HEYALFRED. Пошел на хуй :D

You will? Well, that is excellent news! If you do join forces, I will arrange a home for you here in Moscow. But sometime in the near future, as of now, I am sorting things out in my country and I cannot afford many distractions :O ((Sorry!))

You cannot have it. But we can share it, I can be nice sometimes too, ya know!

Sincerely Yours,

Иван Брагинский

xx

_Translations in order:_

Да – _Yes_

Пошел на хуй – _Fuck You_

Иван Брагинский – _Ivan Braginski_

_Did you guys check out "Vitas" on YouTube yet? _

_Make sure it's "Opera 2", any other song is just weird and unexciting._

_Do it, please?_

_For me?_

…

_Please?_

_~PimpinSushi_


	45. From Savannah V

((~from cross-over-lover232))

dear ivan

hehe true you'd need to have a high pain tolernce level to deal with your the one in america was penn state one half was a school,the other a mentel ward where doctors would molest the people put in there,would remove EVERY tooth after they bit some one three times and one in italy that was shut down and used to be a teeny island where plague victems were dumped off and people condemed to die were drowned in the water around i said, well wrote bad historys. and i always thought you might be the type to and up with canada that or even yao but i kinda like you ending up with alfred and canada with prussia...

savannah

xx

Dearest Savannah,

Indeed, I do have a high tolerance level for such a woman… I know Natalia can be quite… _forward_, but I could never wish such torture upon her… She is my sister, and I do indeed love her. I just want her to go away, not to die or anything.

You too? I see myself with Matvey as well, he is quite the character~

I have had my shares of relations with Yao, and Alfred, never with Prussia. How are you in the dating field, Savannah? If you do not mind me asking : )

Sincerely Yours,

Иван Брагинский

xx

_Translations in order:_

Иван Брагинский – _Ivan Braginski _

_Just out of curiosity, are you writing as a girl named "Savannah" or are you writing as "Savannah, Georgia"? :O_

_~PimpinSushi _


	46. From Canada IV

((~from Hoskiko13))

Dear Ivan

Matthew here. The syrup was very interesting to say the least. Umm. . .We kind forget each other's names. It's our way of saying we care about each other. Don't ask. . .

I don't know if I'd be able to do that. I'll see though.

True. But it's nice to get noticed once in a while, eh?

No. . . I just needed to go.

My papa has been what? How do I put up with him? Years of practice.

xx

Hello again, my Dear Matvey!

Did you use it for your pancakes? If you drank it straight from the bottle, I do not think it will be as satisfying. Enclosed with this letter is Maple Vodka, please enjoy that as well! :D

Such an odd way of keeping in contact, but if it is how you show you care, I cannot argue.

Please do, check! I cannot wait to see you again. In the event that you do come, I will have a hotel room set for you. Unless you would like to stay in my home, in my room… in which case, I do not mind at all.

I would suppose, but sometimes, attention is kind of a bad thing… Some people would like to be left alone at times.

Sending me letters, you read right. He will not bother me for being single if I find a boyfriend soon.

Want to go on a день?

;D

Иван Брагинский

xx

_Translations in order:_

Иван Брагинский – _Ivan Braginski_

День – _Date_

_My internet is being a little biatch so forgive me if these updates are incredibly slow._

_I know I've asked to be forgiven at least six times now. But this is serious! It's going haywire. D:_

_Also, Hoshiko-chan!_

_Russia/Canada ftw :D _

_~PimpinSushi _


	47. From Haiti IV

((~from Kiki4ever))

Ivan,

...Did you just compliment me? O.O; Awwww...I'm touched...and a little frightened. People rarely compliment me and look at my flaws in me and my people. This is one of the reasons I hate stereotypes -_-;. But thanks for the compliment...i suppose...Your nose isn't all that bad. It fits you :)

And for the record, your not fat. BIG BONES FOR THE WIN BABY!

Yeah, I admit, I was starstruck when I saw he was running for prez. But, his political virginity makes me able to morph him into my own image. And CONQUER THE WORLD I mean...better my country? Yeah lets go with that :D. But, I am really scared for the guy. He has kids and a wife. And his music is quite...provoking. My people have a long history of "exterminating" those they dislike O-O;. Hopefully, they don't do anything rash. As long as he doesn't steal my money like everyone else, we have nothing to worry about.

Pfft, Alfred is fucking sex-I MEAN I HATE HIM. LIKE THE PLAGUE. IGNORE THE SEX PART.. But he IS helpful when he wants to be... O/ / / O

Cuba's power hungry? Huh. Ah well...whatever. I thought you weren't communist? Yet, he still is your ally. Weird...Man...I need more allies but, what can you do *shrug*

For once it was nice talking to you. Just one last question:

WHO THE FUCK IS CHINA, LIKE SERIOUSLY, I THOUGHT CHINA WAS ANOTHER NAME FOR TAIWAN? BUT SWITZERLAND DOESN'T KNOW WHO TAIWAN IS AND SAYS CHINA IS THE ANOTHER PLACE? ALL I KNOW IS THAT HE DONATED ME MONEY AND I NEED TO THANK HIM? ITS IN MY NATURE *hyperventilates* {Haiti, along with most countries the Caribbean, recognize Taiwan and not China.)

Excuse while i go search for my inhaler before I die from this asthma attack. Good Bye

- Republic of Haiti, Stephanie J.B.L

P.S: I used to have a violent streak when i was younger which is why I guess I am very...forceful. I have it in a jar if you would like to see it C:. Too bad Dominican Republic is a girl...Two is always better than one :D.

P.P.S: Best Friends? Probably not. Friends? I suppose so :T

(((Pimpin Sushi: WHO DOESN'T LIKE PIMPS OR SUSHI? C8 AND YOU THINK IM FUNNY? I CAN'T HANDLE THEE AWESOMENESS YOU SMELL LIKE RIGHT NOW *faints*)))

xx

Hello again, Stephanie!

I suppose I did. You should not feel so self-conscious; for you are indeed a beautiful girl, да? But do not expect any more compliments; you are still a сука. Do not forget that. ;D I do not like stereotypes all that much either, not all Russian men have big noses and big hats…

Ahem. But I do like my nose as well, Спасибо!

I know I am not fat, but do not be mistaken, I am not "Big boned" either. Because it is so cold in Russia, I often wear many layers ((Undershirt, scarves, gloves, boots, jackets, the works)) and when I am not in my motherland; I often wear many layers anyway because that is what I am most comfortable in. In the end, I look "fat", but I am in shape. ;D

You bring up a good point about his political virginity, I suppose he has good plans for Haiti; that I cannot argue with. And it is more respectable that he is not doing it for the perks. Be wary of him though…

There is no room for you to conquer the world, I'm already doing that ;D

Why not just become Allies with Alfred, then? Though I do not like him, I can come to terms with the fact that Alfred is very reliable. Also, if I am not mistaken, you seem to have a bit of a crush on him, да?

Is our little Haiti growing up and starting to take interest in люди? ;D

We are on/off between a democracy and communism. It is quite complicated. I suppose you are still allies with Cuba, but I am sorry to say that he is indeed power hungry. He would be reliable, if not for the fact that he would run off to the first opportunity of becoming stronger. He is not very smart in decision making.

It was nice talking to you as well :)

China? Well, _China_ is thus far, the second largest country in the world located in East Asia. It has a long-extending history that is still going on today; However, _Wang Yao_ is the representation of China who is an excellent cook, and a great ally.

_Taiwan_ is a country all to herself; I guess it is simple for those who are not familiar with either history to confuse the names; For "The People's Republic of China" is indeed, "China", whereas, the "Republic of China" is Taiwan. They have two entirely different flags, so if you ever get confused, just go by those two. You should probably still thank _Yao_ though, and not _Mei_.

Have trouble finding it,

Иван Брагинский

P.S. I can tell you are indeed violent, such tendencies can be used in combat. And, uhm, нет, I do not want to see that.

P.P.S. Friends then! Come over for tea time, cookies, and my TATU collection :D

xx

_Translations in order: _

Да – _Yes_

Сука – _Bitch_

Спасибо – _Thank You_

Люди - _Men_

_Mei – For those who are confused, "Mei" is Taiwan's fan name. Incidentally, it is also the name that Hidekaz Himaruya was considering giving to her. But she still doesn't have a name yet. _

Иван Брагинский – _Ivan Braginski_

Нет – _No_

_Only crazy people dislike Pimps and Sushi! Crazy people, I say!_

_I do think you're funny, actually!Your letters prove it~_

_I smell like Awesome? Does that mean I smell like Prussia?_

_Like Beer, Pine Sol, and Beer?_

_Thank you, I suppose :D_

_~PimpinSushi_


	48. From Sparadoof

((~from Sparadoof))

Dear Ivan,

I'll become one with you!

When and where, baby? ;D

All jokes aside, do you like Matthew?

Because if you do, I don't think he'd like you going around asking people to 'BECOME ONE' with you.

Love, Spara.

P.S. Your sister scares me. She's like, staring at me, no, Glaring. And she's emitting a purple aura. Should I run?

P.S.S. If America asked to become one, would you do it?

P.S.S.S. Do you play videogames?

xx

Hello, Spara!

You will? Really?

You are such a nice ((and smart)) girl :D

I will provide you with everything you need during your stay; food, water, shelter, clothing, and any other necessities of the like. Also, I would prefer we meet in Moscow, is that too much of a hassle?

Anyway, Matvey is a very caring boy; I do certainly take a liking to him; He has the vigor of Alfred, the manners of Arthur, and the culinary skills of Francis. He is very strong, despite what people may think, and incredibly nice when he wants to be. ((Who wouldn't like him? He is certainly a catch))

I admit that I am one of the people who have forgotten about him, hence why I sat on him during one of the GA meetings…

But I would not mind dating ((and doing other things…)) with Matvey. And if me constantly asking people to become one with me is one of his concerns, I will gladly give up on it.

All I need is for Matvey to become one with me, and that is the only "one" I will ever need.

Keep in touch,

Иван Брагинский

P.S. She scares me as well… What is she doing in the same room as you? A-Anyway, if she is in the same room as you, it is probably because she found you that you are writing to me. In which case, yes, you should probably run.

P.P.S. People become one with _Russia, _not the other way around.

P.P.P.S. I do, sometimes. Though, I do not make a habit out of it like Alfred does… If I do play games, it is usually Gears of War or Call of Duty. Do you play video games, Spara?

xx

_Translations in order: _

Иван Брагинский – _Ivan Braginski _

_My best friend and I were watching Pocohantas and we agreed that the casting is as follows:_

_Pocohantas – Alfred_

_Kokoum – Ivan_

_Pocohantas's best friend ((Her name escapes me)) – Matthew_

_John Smith – Arthur_

_Red-headed guy who is like, John's best friend – Feleciano_

_Wiggins – Lithuania _

_Anyone have any ideas who Ratcliffe should be? _

_Can't wait to hear your response, Lol. _

_~PimpinSushi _


	49. From Luxembourg

((~from cheery-ragdoll))

Dear Ivan,  
Hello~ How are you these days? I'm little Luxembourg, and I have to say I think you're pretty cool. I totally want to grow up just like you, be a great female nation! Also about what you said at the last World Meeting, I'm sorry but I won't become one with you; I'm happy being my own little country. C: Though I will send you flowers if you'd like, though they might not be as good as some other countries. probably only Black- Eyed Susan's and such; well I hope you enjoy you're day or week.

With admiration,  
Little Luxembourg.

xx

Привет, Luxembourg!

I would be lying if I said I was okay, but I am fine, I suppose. How are you as well?

You wish to be like me? Спасибо! I am sincerely flattered that you look up to me in such a way. ((Don't you think your big brother Holland will be a tad displeased?))

Shame. Utter shame you would not become one… I thought you liked me, Luxembourg. ):

Now I do not want flowers, all I want is a friend, and you do not wish to to be my friend.

Goodbye and Good day,

Иван Брагинский

xx

_Dear lord…_

_I am_

_SO_

_SOO_

_SOOOOO_

_SORRY._

_LIKE._

_YOUR REPLY TOOK SO LONG!_

_SERIOUSLY!_

_Somewhere along the way, I just stopped checking my PM's. And I just.. never…_

_TOTALLY SORRY!_

_To make you feel better, here is an Ivan plushie. _

_If you squeeze his hand, he "Kol's"_

_Enjoy! _

_~PimpinSushi _


	50. From Spain II

((~From Dawns Eternal Twilight))

(Sadly no, I've taken it over and over throughout school and never learned it, I thank google translate for my use of Spanish)

Ivan,

Thank you for getting back to me so quickly, I was very pleased to receive your response! And you are trying to grow a tomato farm? How wonderful! That would be very beneficial in helping renew your land. Growing tomatoes is very difficult, it takes a lot of work but the ending reward is muy buena. I have enclosed with this letter a small package of tomato seeds and a note with some of my personal techniques I use to grow tomatoes.

. What an amazing aura! One day we must meet so we can discuss your amazing cunning!

You think that I baby Romano? I never thought of it that way...but your idea of rewarding him seems like it should work and I will try it as soon as I am done writing this.

Manténgase en contacto,

Antonio

PS: Maybe it is that awesome aura of your's that makes people fear you?

PPS: I may skip trying to convince him there is nothing to gain from Romano (which sadly may be true if I am unable to get him to at least clean...) and just move straight to threatening his Eiffel Tower, that may get through his thick head quicker.

xx

Hello again, Antonio!

You are very welcome! It is always nice to write to an _amigo_. How are things in España?

Да, I am trying to grow one. I wish to give the land a… a bit more color. It gets old seeing black and gray after awhile. But I mean… they do not seem to grow as fast as yours. Hopefully, the seeds will work magic on my land and we can feast on the amazing red orbs your people have discovered, Большое спасибо!

Haha Да.

It is odd, despite how "creepy" people say I am; many have wanted to visit me. Texas, Colorado, Alberta, Matvey, Ukraine… and there are others who are incredibly nice to me as well. I must be more "charming" than I am "cunning" ;D

Is this what it feels like for Spanish men when people fall head over heels for them?

You do tend to baby him… You let him yell at you and embarrass you any chance he gets. I, personally, would slap a bitch. ((I heard Alfred say it one time. It is a bit funny…))

Anyway, please do so! The sooner Romano learns discipline the sooner he will learn respect. Tell me how it goes when you write back!

С удовольствием,

Иван Брагинский

P.S. Hm… I do not think that is it. Secretly, I think it's my height… I could step on the Italian brothers. D:

P.P.S. Ah, Francis is indeed a hard person to convince… especially when it comes to conquering and _l'amour. _But as history has went on, I cannot help but say the same for you… You did not really gain anything by protecting the Italian brothers.

… Or did you? Wink.

Oh, and tell me the results of the broken Eiffel Tower next letter!

Пожалуйста, и спасибо

xx

_Translations in order:_

España – _Spain _

Да – _Yes_

Большое спасибо – _Thank You Very Much_

С удовольствием – _Pleased_

Иван Брагинский – _Ivan Braginski_

l'amour_ – The Love _

Пожалуйста, и спасибо – _Please and Thank You_

_Oh, fer realz? Weell, be careful with your Spanish! I speak it fluently and I have a watchful eye on your grammar. _

_You have been warned. ;D_

_~PimpinSushi_


	51. From Ranchdressing IV

((~from Ranchdressing))

Dear Ivan,

In all truthfulness, I pretty much just gave up on American entertainment. It's all cliche and boring. :(

But I'm sorry! I DID send the tapes, but I think Alfred took them. Next time you see him, tell him to give you the tapes or the next time he looks at the news, the tapes WILL be international. :3

And about knowing his weaknesses, it helps to talk to Canada when he's pissed at Alfred. You'll learn all KINDS of things... :D Also, despite how much I like my country, Alfred's personality makes me want to torture him until he keeps. His. Mouth. Shut.

Honestly, who do YOU think will keep their mouth shut and enjoy torturing Alfred? I can't really think of anybody at the moment.

Goodbye and good day,

Ranchdressing

P.S.- Nah, I just like mentally scarring people. It's fun! :)

(Out of letter: your UN is seriously awesome. I'm glad I'm not the only one out there with normal story behind their weird name. :3)

xx

Dearest Dressing,

I could see why you would give up on such… nonsense. All the news is on who is "preggers" and who "tweeted" about some other person. It is slightly sickening… The worst part is that commoners blindly follow these "cliché and boring stories".

This may be slightly odd, but in my last letter, I addressed that I do like hearing about Lady gaga. But please be cordial about this fact, Ranchdressing. I cannot help but be a bit suspicious with the way you go around telling everyone Alfred's fears and whatnot. All I am saying is, do not tell anybody that I like Lady Gaga. It is quite embarrassing.

So remember, keep it a secret!

((I will tell someone about a secret obsession of yours… don't tempt me!))

Ahh, international, you say? Then maybe I just won't ask him to give the tapes to me so that in the end, it IS international. That is quite a sight…

Oh, talking to him when he is angry? That makes sense… Matvey is very quiet but he can be loud when he wants to. But it is hard to catch Matvey when he is in such a mood; it is rare to find him angry! I swear he has the patience of a saint.

Uhm…who would enjoy torturing Alfred? Me? You? Half of Vietnam… Sometimes Japan… More than half of his kids.

That is all that comes to mind at the moment.

Be sure to keep in touch!

Иван Брагинский

P.S. Ah! I do as well! Perhaps we should get together and scar people. Our next targets should be Haiti and Alfred.

xx

_Hey hey hey! 8D_

_Muchas gracias! It makes my life complete to have odd usernames; and to see other people with odd usernames. _

_Even my real name is weird, lol; Oh, but I can't tell you that ;)_

_~PimpinSushi_


	52. From Greenland

((~from HimeNyan))

Dear Ivan

Hello, it's Greenland here. Well, to start off, I must apologise for throwing that chair at you at the last world meeting. I guess…I was being a bit rash. You were just joking about crushing Iceland and Norway to a bloody pulp, after all. I must have misinterpreted it. But you know I am very protective of my little brothers, so any more comments like that will not be taken lightly.

My harpoon wants your blood.

Now that's out of the way, would you please get your Russian ass off my territory? You have been fishing awfully close to my house for a while now, and I have tolerated it. But now you have actually crossed the border, and it is getting in my way. So could you please retreat a little?

From Aaruna Ujuaansi, Greenland

P.S I am not apologising to you on my own accord. My boss ordered me to, so don't take it that I feel anything for you.

P.P.S I hope you are not suffering too badly because of the fires across your country. I would like to crush you myself and not let nature do the deed for me :D

xx

Привет Гренландии!

Uhm… I must say that throwing a chair in the middle of Arthur's speech was a bit rude ((just a bit)), but I do accept your apology! Not that it left a bruise or anything. But Да; I was kidding about crushing your brothers.

It is Denmark I want to crush. If he compares his frilly battle axe to my pipe again; then I will destroy him. Not really ((yes really.))

What is with you Northern Europeans and carrying around handheld sharp weapons? At least I have class and carry around a dull weapon, has not anyone ever told you not to run with scissors?

You do realize, Greenland, that you are indeed "pushing my buttons." Russia expands its landmass for good reasons; it supports our resources, economy, population, and our status of upholding the title of "The Biggest Country in the World." Did that not ring a bell to you? Let me repeat myself.

BIGGEST COUNTRY IN THE WORLD.

I wipe the floor with cowards like you.

Score one for Mother Russia! :D

Иван Брагинский

P.S. Your boss is right; you need to learn, what we Russians would call, "manners."

P.P.S. Спасибо for the "concern." They are letting up as we speak; my people are strong and we are doing our best to subdue the fires. But please, Greenland, even in my weakened state right now; I could still crush you with only my pinky.

xx

_Translations in order:_

Привет Гренландии – _Hello Greenland_

Да – _Yes_

Иван Брагинский – _Ivan Braginski_

_Oh snap. Greenland/Russia fight?_

_~PimpinSushi _


	53. From Hungary

((~from TehDono))

Dear Ivan,

I see that someone burned your precious iron curtain. My only regret is that it wasn't me who brought the torch down. Tell me how is life now that all of your precious countries have left you alone in that house? I didn't get to see what happened, considering I was the first to leave. ^^

I have to know, was there crying? Severe depression? Attempted suicide? Oh we can hope.

On a non-biased note, I'm making a new "documentary" covering the events of the Cold War. Tell me, would you be interested in... "re-enacting" a few events for this documentary with, oh let's say, America?

Love,

Elizaveta Herdevary

P.S. I stood up to you in 1956 I can do it again.

-

Hahaha, love the fic. Makes me laugh. Why can't you love Natalia? She loves you so much. And don't you know, the Cold War is just America trying to express his love for you?

xx

Dearest Elizaveta,

My… someone is certainly filled with animosity today, aren't they? What is it, PMS? Or has it been a while since your elegant aristocratic husband "touched you"? Either way, please refrain from the negativity and insulting me, Elizaveta. It is not ladylike.

Things are not that bad, I hope you realize. Whether or not the Baltics and my sisters are one with me, they are still very important allies of mine. They still provide me with resources and are assisting me with the fires. What do you have? A frying pan. I hope you can improve your economy with it. :)

I will not humor you with an answer.

I do hope this documentary is much more "truthful" than any of the propaganda Alfred spreads to his children. When are you planning on presenting it, if I may ask? Re-enacting? I refuse to perform any of your disgusting fantasies… That… "relationship" was in the past. It was nothing more than an easy lay.

If you wish for me to say it on camera, I sincerely do not mind. ;D

С ненавистью и враждой,

Иван Брагинский

P.S. You may have stood up to me; but your economy was shit until I went to help you out again. :D

xx

_Translations in order:_

С ненавистью и враждой – _With hate and animosity_

Иван Брагинский – _Ivan Braginski _

_Thank you~! And thanks again for sending a letter as Hungary. I love that bitch! :3_

_Uhm…_

_Well, you know the clingy-possessive-but-ultra-pretty-kinds-of-girls-that-think-they-own-the-whole-freaking-world?_

_That's Natalia._

_And those are the kinds of girls I really do not like. _

_As for the Cold War; I am (not) sorry to say that I am not an Al/Ivan fangirl._

_Apologies to… 98% of the FF community. :D_

_I can't see it, because I am an avid USUK fan; so automatically, I don't like pairing Al with anybody besides Iggy._

_My fav character of all time is Matthew, and the first fic I ever read was Ivan/Matt so instantly I became addicted to the couple…_

_And now RussCan is mah OTP._

_And I've never looked back! _

_~PimpinSushi _


	54. From Belarus II

((~from kyashiidreams))

Brother.

Marry me.

Or at least tell me why you won't. I've loved you since we were children. Can you not feel the depth of my love? No one else can ever measure up to me in terms of devotion. I've loved only you brother. So why can't we be together?

Belarus

P.S. Open your door already! Before I slash the doorknob off...again.

xx

M-Мне очень жаль… I cannot.

Natalia, do I _need_ a reason? You are incredibly violent, scary, and possessive. I cannot open a bottle of vodka without you breathing down my scarf… or make a phone call without you asking who I am "cheating on you with." If I were to ever even consider a relationship with you, I wouldn't be able to breathe with how suffocating you are…

On top of that, you are my сестра, and that my dear, is called incest.

Which is illegal.

… Look, I can see that you love me, Natalia. I do too, but in a platonic brother/sister kind of way and nothing more.

We cannot be together for the reasons stated above. Perhaps you should… uhm, try chasing Toris. I heard rumors of him having a crush on you!

Please think about what I said,

Иван Брагинский

P.S. You are outside my door? Can't you just wait to get the reply letter like a normal person! D:

Нет, I will not open. Please go away, Natalia!

xx

_Translations in order:_

M-Мне очень жаль – _I-I am sorry_

Сестра – _Sister_

Иван Брагинский – _Ivan Braginski_

Нет – _No _

_~PimpinSushi _


	55. From Georgia II

((~from Georgia))

(sorry for the late reply)

Dear Russia,

I've heard about that, I am terribly sorry. Is there anyway I can help?

Well, you're forgiven. I guess it explaines why the letter said "stupid American."

So, what of it?

R-really? I w-will k-keep a lookout.

Sincerly,

The Country of Georgia

P.S: I already have

P.P.S: and I drove her off a cliff

xx

Hello again, Georgia!

Who has not heard about it? I bet I am the laughing stock among the numerous other countries; for many people do not like me. I have no idea why, I try to be as polite as possible… and trust me, it is hard to be polite when you are surrounded by идиоты 24/7.

If you want to help, you can build a giant hose! :D

Kidding; but seriously… a giant hose would be nice.

There really isn't anyone can do right now; it's all in my hands. And why are you apologizing for something that was not your fault? It is not as if you started the wildfires, right?

…RIGHT?

My apologies again for the misunderstanding! I must have come off as completely rude! If you would like, at the next world meeting, you can smack me on the hand. Just on the hand… and maybe a tug on the scarf, but not so hard that the scarf falls off. D:

I am just saying. A young lady ((boy?)) such as yourself should not be having such an attitude; especially towards their elders… _especially_ if that elder is Ivan Braginski; the Personification of Mother Russia! Anymore back talk like that and I will ship you to a private school.

Да, be careful. Conquerors usually go for the innocents and the virgins. ;D

Sincerely Yours,

Иван Брагинский

P.S. Xорошую работу, Georgia! Uhm… but I am a bit scared ((A shitload scared)), she is writing letters to me… if you drove her off a cliff, then should she not be dead? D:

xx

_Translations in order: _

Идиоты – _Idiots_

Да – _Yes_

Иван Брагинский – _Ivan Braginski_

Xорошую работу – _Good work_

_It's okay for late replies, it happens to the best of us._

_~PimpinSushi_


	56. From Paris

((~from NekoAlley))

Dear my Ivan,

Remeber that one night when... uhm... well... WE-GOT-DRUNK-AND-DID-THINGS o.o well youre a -cough- father -cough-

Teehee... I send Sunflowers and kisses! btw can i become one with you? Daddy is gunna disown me when he hears you knocked me up o.o uhmm...

Love,

Paris, Daughter of France

P.S. You are awesomeful

xx

Привет Paris! ((_My_ Ivan? That is kind of weird…))

Well, I am not sure if I am going to remember it… seeing as I was… _drunk_, but it takes a lot to intoxicate me so I can probably recall a few things. I do remember – WHAT?

ЧТО?

What do you mean… _father? _As in, a biological father to a biological baby?...I do not believe you, Paris… I may not remember the entire night but I certainly remember using a condom! ((If this is some plot to get me to stay with you after a one-night-stand then I refuse to fall for it!))

Look, I do not mean to sound rude. It is just that such information can catch someone off guard… _very_ off guard. I cannot believe you until I know the results for myself… This is why I request a paternity test.

A-Anyway…

Спасибо for the sunflowers…

They cheered me up a bit.

Becoming one with me? Uhm… Oh, uhm…haha…

Look at that! My country is going through a crisis so we can't take any guests at the moment!

I am not the father!

Иван Брагинский

P.S. Uhm… so are you.

xx

_Translations in order: _

ЧТО? – _WHAT? _

Спасибо – _Thank You_

Иван Брагинский – _Ivan Braginski _

_Ivan is a baby Daddy, you guys._

_Let's grant him a spot on The Maury Show. _

_He needs it…_

_~PimpinSushi_


	57. From Ukraine II

((~from zhorla))

Vanya, I'm sorry I haven't written back earlier, I've been preoccupied. I would love for our bosses to make arrangements; you're right he can be stubborn, but he does what he thinks is right for me, I will speak to him. Now would be a good time to have a picnic, everything is close to being ready for harvest, which reminds me the beats look ready for harvest.

Ivan, I'm doing well. My economy is growing again after the recession caused by America, And I like being independent.

It's good to hear that you have been getting along with others.

What do mean Мальчиков? Matvey is a very good friend. And America is very nice to me… even if he is kind of strange. Poland and I are get much better than ever before (he was the first one to recognise my independence). China wants to start trading with me!

You say Alfred's boss sent spies to your house? I did not think he would do anything like that! How could Alfred not notice… well he's not always so observant..

Love,

Katya

xx

Hello again, Украина!

It is fine that you have not written back; I can tell that the Ukraine is insanely busy these days. I understand that your boss does what he feels is right; but he does so while not considering any other people's feelings. Though, we all may not be one at the moment… You are still my сестра, not just an ally… On another note; I do hope you can convince him. I will bring the пампушками and the водка if you make some of your homemade борщ! It will be just like old times, eh? :D

That is good to hear. I will be sure to send in what I can after I resolve some problems of my own. Be patient!

Да, Matvey is a very nice boy; Stay away from America, Katya! He is bad news, I say! D:

I know I am your younger brother, and you have every right to pursue what you want, but believe when I say America can be incredibly violent!

I do not mind your relationships with Feliks, despite his… demeanor, he is very diligent character. ((It almost hurt to type that))

Does he now? I hope you and Yao become good friends! :)

But… I mean… are there any… _special_ relationships with Мальчиков you'd like to share? Not probing into your life or anything, but I just have to know because you're my сестра o_o….

During the Cold War, Alfred and I did not trust each other, nor did America and Russia, nor our bosses. Plain and simple, we hated each other to the point where we wanted to kill one another and did not care who got in our way… I was seconds away from nuking Alfred into oblivion.

We both knew there were spies, we just did not know who was innocent and who was guilty…

Quite a… interesting period.

с любовью

Иван Брагинский

xx

_Translations in order:_

Украина – _Ukraine_

Сестра – _Sister_

Пампушками – _Pampushki ((Russian bread))_

Водка – _Vodka ((Russian alcohol))_

Борщ – _Borsch ((Russian soup, originated in the Ukraine))_

Да – _Yes_

Мальчиков – _boys_

с любовью – _with love_

Иван Брагинский – _Ivan Braginski_

_Ivan used a lot of Russian in this letter :D _

_~PimpinSushi_


	58. From Köln II

((~from Zahnbuerste))

Dear Ivan,

thank you for the letter.

I told Belarus that you are hidding in the shed and now I locked her there. I really, really hope for you that she won't break anything! Then Prussia will come and drop her at your doorstep...if I find him...

Why are you so surprised about the sunflowerfeld?

I like eating their seeds... *evil grin*

I incuded a photo of it and two bottles of beer.

please give one to Ukraine and greet her from me.

Sincerly,

Köln

xx

Hello again!

You are very welcome. It was nice communicating with you :D

Uhm… you did a good job. But be careful, I heard for Georgia that she is immortal, like Yao. Though, it is hard to believe… she is definitely strong and will throw the doorknob at you when she breaks it down. Believe me, I've been through it! It is a frightening experience and you will find yourself opening a bank account specifically for buying doorknobs.

I will beat Prussia to a pulp like I did decades ago if he does such a thing.

I am surprised because it seems that everyone is able to grow a sunflower field except for me, it makes me feel sad, and isolated. As if the world has a vendetta against me! I want some sunflowers, dammit D:

I am trying to grow sunflowers and tomatoes right now ((Thanks to Spain)), but neither seems to work. Russia will be barren for another couple of centuries, it seems.

…That is eating dead sunflowers! You cannot do that! D: It is like Spain using ketchup, he would sooner kill himself than do such a thing.

Да, I will be sure to give Ukraine one. Though, she is not much of a drinker.

And it _had_ to be beer and not vodka? Seriously, Köln; you need to hire your standards when it comes to alcohol ;D

Which reminds me, we should go drinking some time!

Please consider

Иван Брагинский

xx

_Translations in order:_

Да – _Yes_

Иван Брагинский – _Ivan Braginski_

_You guys are Prussian/American/Danish kind of awesome! :D_

_~PimpinSushi _


	59. From Nebraska III

((~from bunnyrabbitOfDOOM))

Dear Ivan,

Okay! I guess I am Nebraska, while my daddy is out of commission.

Yeah! I can ask if I can go shopping with a friend. (Alfred might get mad if he knows its you...) They'll have to let me go if I do my puppy dog face! So I'd love to go with you and buy some new scarves!

Oooh! That sounds like a lot of fun!

Well thats cool! Like my dad says, copying is a form of...umm... I think it was flattery or something. I don't know what that means though.

I'll bring some to you!

Sincerely, Victory

xxxxx

Your welcome :D And I think we might be getting a mini Russia XD

xx

Hello again, Baby/Not Baby Nebraska!

Look at you, growing up so fast and sporadically switching ages…

If we do go to the mall, I will be sure to pick you up maybe a couple of blocks away from your home. If Alfred asks "Are they picking you up?" you say "No, I'm walking." If he offers you a ride, say "I need to lose weight! I'm fat! So I'm going to walk D:".

Flip a table for a bit more emphasis.

((Since you Americans are undoubtedly self conscious about your weight he will let you walk.))

Genius, да?

You were right; the word you are looking for is "flattery." But it is also a form of stalking… so do not buy a lead pipe, dye your hair silver, and buy purple contacts. Пожалуйста, и спасибо!

There are so many assortments of scarves… what is your favorite color? Whatever it is, we will buy a scarf with that specific hue! And there are many that can match your outfit. My, this does sound fun~

Sincerely Yours,

Иван Брагинский

xx

_Translations in order:_

Да – _Yes_

Пожалуйста, и спасибо – _Please and Thank You_

Иван Брагинский – _Ivan Braginski _

_My mom stopped buying milk and it makes me very sad… Like… literally._

_I started to cry XD_

_((I'm a big baby and I cry easily.))_

_She's all, "it's unhealthy."_

_And started buying some… weird milk replacement…_

_Absolutely motherfucking disgusting._

_I refuse to drink it, and now I'm on my way to CVS to buy some milk on my own._

_See you guys later! _

_~PimpinSushi _


	60. From Alberta III

((~from Rainingsun))

Dear Ivan,

Why hello there once again! So, I finally asked Daddy whether he likes you or not. Maybe it wasn't such a good idea, considering he choked on his Maple cookie so I had to take a hockey stick and hit him a few times. But once he got better, he said No and asked where the hell I got that idea.. D: But then he looked at me and may or may not have seen this letter in my hand, so he quickly said "I mean I like him! He's a great friend! But not like-like!" I think he's a little scared you'll get mad at him. Please don't get mad at Daddy! Get mad at Alfred instead cause.. Well everything is his fault! :D

...Please forgive my utter stupidness. It was the middle of the night when I wrote that letter (don't ask why..) and for some stupid reason got it in my head that you'd be my Uncle instead of that annoying Alfred. DX *facepalm*

...IHOP? Isn't that American? ...Actually I have no idea really. o.o

YAY! I get to join forces with Russia! D Maybe now those stupid bastards- *ahem* -annoying persons will finally stop being meanies.

Awww D: But I wanted a scarrffff~ Fine we shall share the scarf. But in that case

Oh, and I send a ton of telepathical support for the fires and stuff... I hope things clear up soon! :3

Sincerely,

Alberta~ (You can call me Aly!)

xx

Добрый день, Alberta!

Oh my… that… that does not sound like he likes me at all. But he is… alive though, right? o_o

At any rate, I do not believe him and neither should you. ((Though, I hope he isn't forcing himself to like me in a platonic way out of fear…)) He has been sending me letters stating quite the opposite, letters that give me the "green light" on a relationship. I may even take him on a date sometime soon ;D

I would never get mad at Matvey! I must have a serious talk with him.

Kolkol. It is fine, Alberta. You are not stupid and tiredness always gets the best of us. What were you doing up so late? D:

Uhm… well, IHOP is indeed an American restaurant. But really, it's Matvey's food that everyone is buying. Though, I do not necessarily want to take him to IHOP. Know any good restaurants?

This is just excellent. Thanks to these letters, people want to join forces with me! ((Oddly enough, it's the Canadians and Alfred's states that want to do so…)) Do not worry yourself over something as trivial as a scarf; we will both join forces soon, dear.

Besides, I am going scarf shopping with Nebraska; perhaps you should join us!

Спасибо for the telepathic support! I send telepathic Russian hugs. :D

С любовью, Али,

Иван Брагинский

xx

_Translations in order:_

Добрый день – _Good day_

Спасибо – _Thank you_

С любовью, Али – _With love, Aly_

Иван Брагинский – _Ivan Braginski_

_~PimpinSushi _


	61. From Ausra Matejka III

((~from SuesoAusra))

Dear Vanya,

Yes, friends are great.

I bought an ax on eBay. I think I can take Belarus on. =)

Pampushki is tasty.

My brother wants to know if your siters ever dressed you in girls clothes when you were little.

Kisses ir meile

Ausra Matejka

P.S. I'm so not scared of Belarus.

xx

Well hello again, Ausra!

Друзья are indeed great; they help you out when you sincerely need it. Now that I am in a crisis, I know who my real friends are and who are not. However, be careful who you choose to be close to. It can bite you in the осел when you least expect it o_o

Perhaps you have an axe, you may even know how to use it… but nothing can stop Natalia when it comes to the love of her life…

Да, Pampushki is definitely tasty. Perhaps if you visit, I will have Toris prepare some.

…

Excuse me?

Uhm… Нет…

They never did that…

Sincerely Yours,

Иван Брагинский

xx

_Translations in order:_

Друзья – _Friends_

Осел – _Ass_

Да – _Yes_

Pampushki – _Russian bread made of small, puffy rolls of dough and yeast._

Нет – _No_

Иван Брагинский – _Ivan Braginski_

_~PimpinSushi _


	62. From Colorado V

((~from sandyandmaxwellfanatic))

'Sup, Ivan, I'm good, how are you?

I got attacked by a mountain lion a couple of weeks ago and fractured my knee. (But I shot him down, even though he mananged to scrape up my leg.) So I've been on my couch most of the time, catching up on my Colorado Rockies. You watch baseball, don't you?

No, I'm not the female body builder. That's Montana. ~shiver~ And I will never become that, don't think I'd want to anyway. DX

... I can't wait to shove my ski pole into your foot on your own homeland.

You're right, I guess 3oh!3 isn't the best and Russian music is good.

But country is the all time, most amazing music ever. It's American, it's awesome, and best of all, it's American. ;D (YOU JUST GOT TOOOOLLLLDDDDD)

Pssshhh, I'm not telling you what I'm getting you. And don't tell me what you're getting me, that's ruins it... But I would like a scarf, that's on my wishlist. Oh, oh, get me one with my flag pattern on it because my flag is BEAST. :D

All right, Massachusettes taught me a lot about what to give someone and how to save money since he is a businessman/ex-rebel/England hater. You could give Ukraine some handmade paper flowers because 1) They're from you and all personal and stuff 2) Paper flowers don't die and 3) They're pretty. I'll send you some sunflowers and columbines (My favorite flower) so you can see what they look like.

I actually want to ~the rest is scribbled out~

HAHAHA, UTAH HAS TAKEN OVER HAHAHA. Just knocked my sis off the couch to tell ya that you suck, friggn' commie. I have warm desert and you do not, SUCKA. Also, my ski resorts are better than dumb ol' Brenda's AND yours. So suck on that, fuckn' douchebag.

Commie idiot, I'm totally telling Dad that Brenda has been writing letters to the ENEMY. So say buh-bye to ever writing to her again, kolhoz!

STAY AWAY FROM MY SISTER, SHE MAY BE AN IDIOT AND A SNOW WANNABEE, BUT I'M AWESOME AND HER OLDER BROTHER SO STAY AWAY, VODKA DRUNKARD. YOU ARE NOT SPENDING CHRISTMAS WITH HER AND SHE IS NOT GOING TO YOUR STUPID LAND THAT'S ON FIRE RIGHT NOW. ALSO, SHE DOESN'T WISH TO BECOME ONE WITH YOU, EVEN THOUGH WHENEVER SHE'S WRITING A LETTER TO YOU, HER FACE SAYS THE OPPOSITE.

I'm the awesomest winter athelete and I got the Olympics over my sis because people love me more,

Utah/Tristan

P.S. HOW DO YOU KNOW WHAT MY SISTER LOOKS LIKE, SHE DIDN'T SEND A PICTURE... Did she? DX OH, NO, I'M GONNA HIT YOU SO HARD WITH MY SNOWBOARD NOW, FUCKING COMMIE BASTARD.

xx

Здравствуйте еще раз, Brenda!

Oh my, I do hope you're okay! Perhaps this is nature telling you that you should stay away from the mountains for awhile? I got attacked by a bear a few years ago; but I had my lead pipe on me, so it was not that bad. ((Though, I would rather be attacked by a bear than Natalia any day…))

I do not keep up with baseball as much as I keep up with hockey. But yes, I am aware of the Colorado Rockies. Now that we're on the topic; I am wondering, why is the mascot "Dinger the Dinosaur" and not… well… a rock? ((Well, it would be stupid to have a rock as a mascot… but really? A giant purple dinasour? It reminds me of Barney and Barney is creepy.))

Oh thank heavens… I am happy that you are not one of those, but… ew, Montana? I always thought Montana was… a man… o_o My mistake then…

Kolkolkol. You seemed to have sipped too much of the vodka I sent to you if you think you can beat me in 2014. I did not know you were that much of a lightweight, Brenda. Be careful, vicious men look for lightweights such as yourself :D If you are merely confident, then I will have to teach you your place when the time comes. And your place, my dear Colorado, is "second". Everyone is second best to Mother Russia! :D

Good to know you have improved your taste in music since talking to me. If it makes you feel any better, if I were to choose an American artist I like ((and consider up to par with godly Russian music)), I would choose Lady Gaga. She is certainly an interesting character, her music and odd videos intrigue me…

((I especially like "Paparazzi", the song reminds me of Natalia. And "Eh,eh":D))

…

Okay, I read correctly.

Seriously? Of all things?

You chose _Country_?

I do not know if you have noticed, but I enjoy music with individuality and vigor, and lyrics that keep me guessing. It isn't very hard to decipher Country lyrics; isn't it always about a cheating boyfriend or how "I love mah baby, Charlene"? Gag 8D

That aside, you will not even give me a hint as to what you're going to get me? That makes me sad, Brenda. I would give you a clue if you asked for one! And sure, I will personally make sure to find a scarf with your flag on it. ((That may take some time.))

Massachusetts is very smart, да? But that is slightly confusing, women hold handmade items closer to hear than bought ones? o_o

Women are such strange creatures…

Anyway, I will make sure paper sunflowers. I sincerely hope she likes them. In the event that she does; Спасибо for the great advice! :D

In return; I will take you out for some vo-

…

Добрый день Utah…

You are a very funny character, да?

I see that you harbor the same hatred that your father has for me; that makes Ivan sad. Do you really like making me sad, Utah? ):

You're going to tell on Brenda? Now I respect your honesty and the fact that you take sides with your father; but I am not your enemy. I have not tried to attack your country in decades, nor do I feel the need to. There is nothing I can really gain from it at the moment as I have my hands tied.

So think about it, what makes me the enemy?

Also, your sister has done nothing wrong; all she has been doing is writing to me, and I do not see the harm in that. Aren't you writing to me right now? :3

Now then, I think Brenda can make her own decisions, Utah. Whether she wants to write to me or spend Christmas with me or not is up to her. Also, it is not my fault that The Russian Federation is x10 more interesting than the United States~

Hm. How long are you going to be in denial, Utah? Brenda wants to become one with me, what is wrong with that? Perhaps you should stop fighting it and do the same. ((I see the blush on your face. :D))

С искренним уважением,

Иван Брагинский

P.S. We all met at World Meetings and Conferences. Do you not remember? You tried to throw a chair at me that day, in which, you missed, and proceeded to cry while Alfred offered you a comfort burger. Certainly an eventful day, that was!

P.P.S. I will say it again, Brenda is pretty; it's okay Tristan, I think you are fairly милый as well :D

xx

_Translations in order: _

Да – _Yes_

Здравствуйте еще раз – _Hello again_

Спасибо – _Thank You_

Добрый день – _Good day_

С искренним уважением – _Sincerely Yours_

Иван Брагинский – _Ivan Braginski_

Милый – _Cute _

_Oho. All in favor of Ivan being a closet Lady GaGa fan? :D_

… _-a random bystander in the background- _

_I!_

_It's settled. _

_Anyway, this letter amused me so. _

_~PimpinSushi _


	63. Author's Note

Hey guys! It's PimpinSushi :)

I know an Author's Note in the middle of a fanfic is purty dang weird; but there were some issues I needed to address involving Ivan's Letters to the World that just couldn't be solved through PM's and tiny messages at the bottom of each letter.

((Do you guys even read those?))

Before you freak out, no; I'm not deleting the story. Lolz~

Anyway, I'm thinking of disabling Anonymous Reviews

Why?

It prevents all of the gross/hate messages ((Not that I have gotten any yet, but I know there are some creepers out there. Also, not that I pay attention to them either! It's just, I don't want to happily log onto FF and see "Stupid cunt, go die!" The sight is kind of unpleasant.))

If there are questions/concerns I need to ask about regarding your letter, there is no way I can get in contact with you because you don't have an account.

It avoids doubles. I have gotten a letter from two Belarus's, and two Gilbert's.

Which also brings me to another concern; when you write a letter; please make sure the person you choose isn't already taken. Yeah? In the event that I got two Gilbert's ((which actually happened)), I wanted to ask the second Gilbert if they wanted to be an alternate, like, Pirate!Prussia or something so that I don't totally ignore their letter. But again, that person didn't have an FF account so I could not get in contact with them. See what I mean? :I

So yeah, right now, 98% of me is leaning towards disabling anonymous reviews.

Also, if you sent a letter from an anonymous account, I may just skip over it and reply to the next letter send from a person with an account. I don't mean to be a bitch; but if that's what I have to do then I will do it.

Anyway,_ please_ sign up for fanfiction and re-send the letter as a review or a PM ((It's free of charge, I promise!)). When you do re-send the letter, make sure you specify "I was this person and I sent a letter before as _"

I know this is something I should have done earlier; but I really didn't think the issue would get this tedious.

Forgive me, please?

…

Yeah, it's gonna take some time.

On a side note, I want to thank you all so much! For the feedback, the reviews, the letters and the criticism. Without you, ILTW would not even exist. You're a Prussian/American/Danish kind of awesome. So Да, I love you all! :D

~PimpinSushi


	64. From Savannah VI

((~from cross-over-lover232))

dear ivan,

i know your a good person,its odd how people are scared of you..dateing wise i am not the dateable type from what i've overheared two or three main reasons are to american men 1)too plump,2)my glasses and 3)i have quite a few stress pimples. one day soon i hope to save up enough money and find a place where plump women are not held in such disgust,but sadly that seems lacking for not even my large err bussom makes me dateable and i will not let a man use me just to get a peek at those two awal things on my chest!i truly feel for ukrane...

oh and i sent you a kitty!cute little kittens always cheer me up so they might help you,try wearing it at the next meeting on your shoulder or have it sleeping on top of your head ^.^

much,love

savannah

(just a normal human..the thing to ask:how did i get ivans address?)

xx

Hello again, Savannah!

Спасибо for calling me a good person; I feel you are sweet as well. Now from what you have written me, you sound like a very interesting girl; I do not see what makes you "un-dateable" So you are plump? You should see the size of some Russian women…As for number two; America wears glasses, as does Canada, Sweden, Austria, and Thailand. And I believe them to be quite active in the dating department. ;D

I bet you are a very beautiful girl, Savannah. Please do not fret over something as miniscule as appearance; it is trivial compared to personality and inner beauty. Do not feel like you should have to change yourself for anybody; it is not worth the headache, да? ((Also, it is not worth buying a plane ticket somewhere… o_o))

A котенок?

You sent me a котенок?

Well, that means I have to send you something cute as well! I send you a piranha, they are truly cute creatures, they are :D

Will wearing it on my shoulder make people think I'm cuter? I will definitely try it!

С искренним уважением,

Иван Брагинский

P.S. I suppose that is true… but then again, I have everyone else's address anyway. IMNOTASTALKER.

xx

_Translations in order: _

Спасибо – _Thank You_

Да – _Yes_

Котенок – _Kitten_

С искренним уважением – _Sincerely Yours_

Иван Брагинский – _Ivan Braginski _

_Yes. I got my milk. :)_

_It's delicious. _

_And I put Nesquik in it._

_((The chocolate kind.))_

_~PimpinSushi _


	65. From Finland III

((~from PianoisLove))

((I'm loving reading all of your letters- Especially the Canada ones! I love RusCan as well- I think they make a really cute pairing. :DD Please keep writing, but don't overwork yourself! These things are hard, I know.))

Zdravstvytye, Ivan!

Wow, it seems I still remember a little bit of Russian. Who would have thought?

Oh God, the fires sound horrible. :( Ivan, I'm so sorry. You're definitely in my thoughts and prayers. Stay strong, okay?

And thank you! I really appreciate it. I completely understand what you mean, though. Remember when Eesti asked me to marry him, in 1917? I had to make myself say no, because a union wouldn't be good for our people- too confusing at that time. I still regret my answer, even though it was for the best...what's worse was that I had to date Ludwig for a while after that. :/

It's true; we're cutting down way too many trees here in Finland. :P Sadly, it's a big part of our income. Even Nokia used to be a paper company...for toilet paper. 0_o

Finland and Sweden's relations are not so good- Especially with the Aland controversy right now. However, Berwald and I are still friends- but not like everyone thinks we are! Berwald is great, but he and are too different for a relationship.

Thankfully, now Berwald is dating Feliks...and Feliks LIKES to be called Berwald's life. Oh. Thank. God. Haha, I really did hate it when he called me that...and in front of Eduard, too! I'm manly, dammit...right?

Ivan, Berwald is already with Feliks, but even so...call me "Beauty," and I think you and I may have a Winter War of our own. 0_o Haha, just kidding...kind of...*Hides a Molotov Cocktail behind my back and whistles*

Ahaha, though to see Denmark as Mrs. Potts might be worth it. Norway could be the finicky clock!

Russian music is quite good too- I'm an avid Radiotrance fan. :D

Sorry to hear that you haven't had much time as of late. When the fires clear up, perhaps you could come over! I'm thinking of inviting Elizaveta and Eduard as well. :D

Zesvydanya,

Tino V. :)

xx

Hyvä päivä sinulle, Tino!

And I know a bit of Finnish! As I said, your people left a lasting impression in my Motherland.

Да, but no amount of words can really describe it, can they? Спасибо for all of your support, Tino. I definitely pray for your environmental problems as well. ((Maybe this is all karma for abusing the Baltic States?))

You're welcome! And да, I do remember Eduard asking you out. That must've have been hard on you to reject him; but things were certainly confusing at the time. The Russian Federation was not at its strongest and what's worse, I had to find out through Latvia that he asked you out in the first place! I'm sure you would have said yes; had the circumstances been… better. Do you love Eduard?

Well, you have to do what you have to do for money, I suppose…

Really? But I remember you and Berwald being so… _close. _No matter, I heard about that. How is little "Aland" doing? Now that we're on the subject, are the Aland Islands the offspring of you and Berwald? o_o It's a tiny Finnish island that entirely speaks Swedish… So… -cough- I am just wondering. Many rumors are circulating through the meetings; Alfred insists that The Aland Islands are… love bites. Kolkolkol.

Berwald… and… Feliks? The image is mentally scarring. I cannot see how someone so serious can date someone so…so obnoxious. ((But then again; I did date Alfred for awhile. That was certainly a complicated relationship I won't soon forget.))

Да Tino, you are certainly… мужественный :D

Aw, come now! I do not see what is wrong with being called "beauty." You are certainly quite petite for a nation. I will refrain from you calling you "beauty" for now, okay "beauty."? I will not use the word "beauty" anymore for calling such a manly man "beauty" is offensive… "beauty." :D

You would lose a Winter War~ And stop stealing Romano's Molotov Cocktails! He needs them to run an efficient "mafia." ((As efficient as an Italian mafia can be…)) Besides, Tino; you and I both know you would not harm a fly ;D. Except in your Viking days o_o My, you were certainly intimidating.

Denmark is Mrs. Potts and Norway as the clock? Kolkol. In that case, Iceland would be the voyeuristic candle ((I never knew Iceland had it in him~)) and Greenland as Chip. Would that make me Gaston? ((I am definitely tall and handsome, and I would not mind having you for a wife. ;D))

I will make that a priority. Oddly enough, I have dates with Nebraska, Colorado, Texas, Matvey, Моя сестра Ukraine and now you and Eduard o_o

I have certainly become one popular man! Yay me?

…

Do not invite Elizaveta.

If you must know why, look at the letter she sent me!

It was certainly rude and not very welcoming! D:

Sincerely Yours,

Иван Брагинский

xx

_Translations in order:_

Hyvä päivä sinulle – _Good day _

Да – _Yes_

Спасибо – _Thank You_

Мужественный – _Manly_

Моя сестра – _My sister_

Иван Брагинский – _Ivan Braginski_

_Ahh~Ivan/Matthew –swoon-_

_I am totes head over heels for those two. Not only are they cute, but they would make the largest baby in the world! XD ((Not that I like mpreg. It's pretty damn weird.)) _

_I'm so glad to hear you love the letters! :D _

_If I may ask, why did you take off Finland's Letters? Was it because you were warned about the ToS or whatever?_

_And yeah, I noticed. Every time I think I'm finished answering a letter; a new review pops up! _

_And before I know it, I'm thirty letters behind. Ohlawd. D:_

_Oh, and love._

_DP means "Display Picture."_

_:D_

_~PimpinSushi _


	66. From Haiti V

((~from Kiki4Ever))

Dear Ivan,

Again with the bitch *sigh* but I can't complain. I am usually a bitch...its just part of my character. Just like you wanting everyone to become one with you. It's creepy but its you :D. (Why do you do that, anyway?)

Awwww, they dont have furry hats...but i thought they were really cute though -W-.

I see what you mean about the items of clothing. I dont wear too many layers, its the population density I tells ya! And my name means...mountainous region -_-;

It doesnt matter right now...he's not in the ballot anymore. He didnt meet the residency requirements. I could've sworn he did though...But it was more respectable. Pfft, I'm always wary. I barely trust people anymore -_-;

W-WHY DOES EVERYONE SAY THAT? I DONT LIKE HIM T-T HES HELPED ME OUT but thats IT. (hes an idiot but a sexy idiot...ignore that). I am is ally...I think. I cant offer him much but hes helped me out alot. Besides, he has Mexico, Philippines, Israel, and more. Stupid womanizer, playing with my heart -_-

I'm 18... I've been grown for like 200 years. How old are you anyway?

I KNEW YOU WHERE CONQUERING THE WORLD! welll make the Best one win then :P bear in mind i got THE EVIL PUPPY EYES OF DOOM.

China is near you? Maybe I'll visit you but i hate the cold...LAYERING TIME XD

Time to make that thank you basket for him! Sorry for mistakes. Its like 4 in the morning, i cant sleep, and I think I have another lung infection QAQ I hate asthma so so MUCH.

Gonna find China one way or another,

-Haiti, Stephanie J.B.L

P.S: Awww but it jiggles in the water -W-; Actually, I am pretty useless in combat right now. I used to be awesome for like...5...years OTL

P.P.S: T.A.T.U? Ive always wanted to know what that was. I consider it, since elections are comming up...-_-;

(((You smell of Gilbirds, beer, and blogs. SO YOU DO SMELL OF GILBERT XD)))

xx

Haiti~!

I am sorry for calling you a bitch; but it is the equivalent of people calling me creepy. It hurts my feelings too! ((You get used to it, I suppose.)) And uhm… I ask people to become one with me because that is how Russia became the Russia it is today! Russia is incredibly big because my soldiers and I have conquered many lands. One day, Mother Russia will take over the world; and you have the option of either becoming one, or being killed. I think we know which option is more appealing. :D

Cute eh… Haiti, would you like me to buy you a furry hat?

Population density? Wait, are you suggesting that you are fat? I have seen you at meetings Haiti, you are not fat. o_o

Aww, that is a shame on Wyclef's part. I was kind of rooting for him, he said that one of his greatest advantages was his political virginity; It throws the whole nation in a new direction. That quote was actually pretty innovative. Still, a shame. So what candidates are left?

Well, I was merely commenting on it because of how fondly you talk about Alfred. You may as well ask for his hand in marriage, Stephanie -_- Alfred may have many allies, but they are all allies and nothing more. He is a pretty popular guy and tends to make friends very easily. So please do not be jealous, Haiti. If you really want me to, I can set you up on a date with Alfred! :D

Ah, eighteen? Such a young girl you are. In human years, I would be about twenty-seven. Just over one-thousand nation wise.

Your evil puppy eyes may be a worthy adversary, but they are nothing compared to my adorable smile and round face. You don't stand a chance!

Да; Russia is right on the Eurasian border, China being right under me. If you ever need to visit him, you should just visit me first BUT I will provide all of your winter clothing. It's always so hot and humid in Haiti… so I'm sure your "winter clothes" are not very reliable.

Oh my, you have asthma? From what? o_o I do hope you're okay and your lung infection clears up. Is this why you're up at four in the morning?

Удачи,

Иван Брагинский

P.S. Perhaps I can teach you how to fight, if you really need me to.

P.P.S. TATU is two female Russian singers who are known for using their sex appeal and their taboo "lesbian relationship" on stage. I will let you borrow my CD collection sometime, make sure to listen to "All about us" and "Perfect Enemy"!

P.P.P.S. I'm serious about setting you up on a date with Alfred~Wink. :D

xx

_Translations in order:_

Сестра – _Sister_

Да – _Yes_

Удачи – _Good Luck_

Иван Брагинский – _Ivan Braginski_

I smell like Gilbert?

There's only one way I could smell like him and that's if we slept in the same bed together.

…

Ohmygodyes.

~PimpinSushi


	67. From Canada V

((~From Hoshiko13))

Dear Ivan

Matthew again. Yes I did use it on my pancakes.

I'll be willing to stay in your house, but maybe I could get a different room?

True. I'd be willing to switch places with someone who'd like that, though.

A date? Err. . . Ehh. . . Sure? That will get papa off my back too.

Matthew.

(To the author. for the EPIC win. :3)

xx

Hello again, Matvey! :D

I am glad to hear that you enjoyed it! Most recently, I have been indulging in your highest export of Maple syrup and it's been rather delicious. Incidentally, pancakes are a good distraction for a world crisis… along with vodka.

I do not know if you've noticed, but I have been rather depressed lately. We all know the reason why, so then you also know that Moscow is not the best vacation place right now. So instead of going to my house, perhaps I should visit yours? But only for a little, would that be okay? You can tell me all about your history and why you chose the Maple leaf as your national symbol o_o ((Never quite understood that)). And your weird obsession with Moose.

And you would not like to stay in the same room with me? Why is that, little Matvey? D:

...

-ahem-

Did you just… accept a date with me? Ivan Braginski?

Seriously? o_o

Wow… спасибо for granting me this opportunity, my dear Matvey! It's quite hard to believe you accepted considering our… awkward history. ((You and I never came in contact until World War II, and even then we barely said a word to one another. One decade later, you and Alfred hate my guts for being a "commie"…

Well, whatever, I am excited now! Take that, France.

((And Alfred, and Belarus!))

Where would you like to go? I have been informed by some… reliable sources ((Alberta)) that you really like IHOP… but that does not sound very romantic. D:

Anyway, write back soon we can get this date on the road! :D

With Love,

Иван Брагинский

xx

_Translations in order:_

Спасибо – _Thank You_

Иван Брагинский – _Ivan Braginski_

_Indeed for the epic win. Why won't you sleep in the same bed with him? _

_All he wants is to cross Canadian borders. Don't be mean and destroy his wishes. D:_

_Oh, and sorry for not replying for the longest!_

_I had a band trip all the way from my home to Tampa, Florida. _

_((It's about four hours from where I live.)) _

_And god did it take forever to get there and back…_

_The bus ride was the best though._

_People were ((ironically)) drinking vodka and eating hash brownies. ((It instantly reminded me of Ivan and Holland. Lol))_

_I didn't do either of them; but it's funny watching people crash all over the place._

_Ah, band kids._

_~PimpinSushi _


	68. From United States of America I

((~from ciddlesandbits))

Hahaha! The hero is here! So you better watch it you commie!

Dude, I know that you're stalking whatshisface who lives in the...uh...north? Ummmm, oh yea! Matt! Don't do that anymore. He's my brother (right? I think that's right) so leave him alone or else I will kick your communist ass. If he said he liked you he as just being nice. Mattie is too nice for his own good sometimes which is why I have to protect him because I'm the hero!

Oklahoma told me that Texas told you that I have a collection of porn. That's a lie, I swear! And that Texas said I loved it more than hamburgers. I love hamburgers the most out of anything ever. Except being a hero, that's the best. So yea...I'm not a pervert like France.

Stop sending me weird mail saying that I should "become one with Russia". That'll never happen, you creep. I'm too awesome and heroic to be anything but my own country. You wouldn't even be able to handle my heroic-ness. That's how amazing I am. Even Artie had to let me go because he couldn't handle my heroic-ness.

And before you even ask, no I will not learn Russian. I speak awesome American and that's all. Maybe you should learn American too, then you could be kind of cool.

Well, I gotta go eat a hamburger (or two...or three. Actually, I'm gonna have five because hamburgers are the best food in the whole world).

-Alfred "Alfa-Dog" Jones  
The United States of America

P.S. Some of my states said you were following them. Dude! What is wrong with you? You're gonna give them nightmares or something.

-NOT LETTER-

Well, there ya go. Can't wait to read more of Ivan's letters! :)

xx

Oh, how nice of you to write, Alfred!

I absolutely adore how you are playing the big brother role whenever you feel like it. I just _love_ how respectable it is that you are trying to "protect" Matvey when more than 90% of the time you only put him in more danger. Oh, but the best part is how you only notice him when you get some sort of glory out of it! Such a respectable person, you are!

Give me a break, you capitalist pig.

I am taking your brother out on a date and there is nothing you can do about it. Unless you manage to… close down every restaurant on earth. Then by god, that is some talent you have there. ((Although, I would just have to spend the night at his house. Wink.))

Matvey was not saying it just to be nice, he meant it and he isn't the kind of person to lie to his people, ((How you two are even related is beyond me)) so why would I be any different? He likes me and I like him, then from there he will become one with me in more ways than one. ((Kolkolkol.)) As I said, there is NOTHING you can do about it.

Ah, indeed Texas told me about your collection of pornography; I did not know you indulged in such… things. ((Even around your children? That is kind of weird o_o)) Denial is the first stage to recovery and I will try and help in any way I can. If it is relief you seek, I know a girl who is dying to go on a date with you! Need a hint? It's Haiti. I already set it up, enjoy!

Me? Sending you weird Letters? Why I would ne-

Oh, right. I would.

I am not going to stop that ((especially seeing as how it bothers you)) because everything I say in those letters was true. Don't you see the amazing opportunities that accompany becoming one with me? You, me, biggest country in the whole world? :D

Some states are already considering it, like Colorado for instance. Her name is Brenda, right? Such a sweet sweet girl, she is.

And let's be serious, Alfred. Arthur didn't "let you go." You were being a rebellious idiot and seceded on your own free will. Oh my, did I tread in deep waters? ;D

On another note

Maybe you should learn русский. It certainly a beautiful language that rolls off the tongue quite nicely; the Cyrillic may be a bit hard to catch onto but the end results are definitely worth it. You are definitely missing out, Alfred!

Het, I will not give "American" a second glance.

"Dude"

"Bro."

"Gonna."

Do you not notice how Arthur winces every time you even utter a word? You took his British English and turned it into… that. It's about time you picked up a dictionary, the _right_ Dictionary. Not Webster's, preferably a Russian one or one on British English! :D

Plus, I am already cool. So suck on that, hamburger boy.

Anyway, enjoy that grease on a bun you call "food." I hope you choke on them. Or better yet, eat double the amount you were going to eat before, gain weight and complain about it. ((That's what you Americans do best, Да?))

Do not sign your letters as "Alfa-dog." You sound stupid.

Yours Truly,

Иван Брагинский

P.S. I am not following them! I only wish you give them a hug; take them shopping and offer them vodka. :D

xx

_Translations in order:_

Да – _Yes_

Русский – _Russian_

Het – _No _

Иван Брагинский – _Ivan Braginski_

_Ohoho. I got an "Alfred" letter from ciddlesandbits. Man, do I feel star struck. xD _

_It's just awesome._

_At any rate, sorry dude who wrote as America previously. Remember how I said I wouldn't be accepting anonymous reviews anymore? Well, there you go. _

_Peace out! :)_

_~PimpinSushi_


	69. Author's Note II

Heeey! It's the bitch that doesn't update, here!

Now, I wanna apologize for like the 17th time for not replying fast enough o 3 o It's really easy to blame it on life and school and you've probably heard that excuse one million plus times, so I will refrain from using it.

However, I WILL tell you that I have competitions coming up for marching band and my band director is strict as holyshet! He has us practicing three days straight, including Saturdays! So at the moment, my life belongs to him D:

I promise I'll totes belong to you guys when… when I can! ((Probably today, and Sunday! Oh, but please don't expect TOO much. It's been awhile so I've gotten a little rusty.)) Forgive me?

On another note, my friend and I are working on a collab fic by the name of "Seeking Cloudless Skies." It's gonna be totes epic and we will post it as soon as we can! All you need to know is that it involves Ivan, rape, maple syrup, Scotland, McDonalds, and Australia! Ohhhgawd. –hearts-

LAST UPDATE:

You know that Unnaturalketchup person that goes around reporting fics and shit?

Actually.

Not.

A Bad.

Person.

o_o

Fucking weird, right? Dude, I talked to her through PM's and she's actually a pretty cool person. We didn't yell at each other or curse each other out like uncivilized beings. We just… talked.

Like, I'm still ticked she reported the fic and all; but I can still respect that she wants to follow the rules.

I am proud to say that I don't regret my sarcastic reply on Chap. 23, but I am sure she doesn't regret reporting the fic either. It's kind of a 50/50 deal.

DONE WITH THAT:

I totes found this hot guy in band that plays the saxophone… My goal is to atleast hug him by the end of the semester.

Wish me luck!

~PimpinSushi


	70. From Texas IV

((~from zelda03))

hello Ivan!

Well, if you say she isin't a perv, then I belive I'm still slightly of course Alfred has a HUGE stash of porn! He loves that shit more than Micky D's!(Micky D's is Mc Donalds...)

HAHA! It makes sense now! Everytime I see her, her breath smells like salmon, totally makes sense now!My favorite food?Well, its more of a tie between barbecue and Tex-Mex.

Well...Alaska has finally asked me on a DO I DO NOW!

Yeah, we , I have tasted borsch, I eat eveytime I get high. It is good! Even California thinks so. :D

I think Hawaii is somehow related to Chuck Norris...Si, she did try to eat me, multiple times too, and since I think she is somehow related to Chuck Norris, she may know that I hid cameras, and if Alfred is in the is far from me, but as I said, since her and Chuck can possibly be related, therefore, she can get to my house in, like, five minutes tops, its creepy.

Nicole Braginski sounds awesome! But I still like Antonio's surname more for some wierd reason.

-Texas-

P.S. kinda, the only thing is, I've been diagnosed as a depressed bipolar skitzophrinic. Which I think is wierd as hell and Alfred has been in 'mama mode' for a week now.

(Fun Fact: Adult bookstores outnumber Mc Donald's 3 to1 in the U.S. :D)

xx

Good to hear! I hope it doesn't bother you that I believe her to be a saint. She is such a sweet girl I could never imagine her indulging in such… activities! And frankly, I am not surprised by Alfred's stash of porn… he has always been kind of a pervert. He denies the stash in his letters, but the Russian Federation can always pick out a lie! Oh yes. Yes I can.

(Do not worry, I've heard him say "Micky D's" before and it is annoying as hell -_-; poor boy does not know how to speak Enlgish…))

Да, her favourite food is indeed salmon. So use that against her and all will be well! Your favorite food is seriously barbecue? Isn't barbecue insanely fattening? Oh well, whatever "floats your boat" as Alfred would say. By the way, does she still grope you and nibble your ears? If she does tell me so I can talk some sense into her! Sometimes I think she is related to Francis.

Wait, you and Alaska? On a… DATE? Дорогой Бог… she wants this relationship with you sooner than I expected.… Maybe it's the fact that you Texans are good at horseback riding and… that sort of thing can play out in the bedroom.

Oh my, I'm sorry. I shouldn't be saying such things, should I? You are only what, seventeen? Please forgive me, Texas! D:

Anyway, like I said, throw some salmon in a random direction and I'm sure she will follow it without question. If that doesn't work, maybe you should let the poor girl down easy.

If THAT doesn't work, then… accept the date, but make yourself out to be disgusting and gross as possible! One time, I was on a date with Mongolia and I started to cry when I peed. It made him think I had some STD and he did not want another date ever again! The plan is full proof and I'm sure she will never bother you again! Though, she will go and complain to me for hours on end… perhaps I should buy the girl a diary.

Isn't borsch delicious? You should come over for some! :)

And wow, does Alfred know you get high? But then again, I don't think he would mind much, he was always "trippin' on acid" in the 60s…I'll admit, I even tried some of his experiments. What a crazy decade that was…

Anyway, it is a shame to hear about Hawaii… and her… cannibalism. ((Has she ever considered checking her into a mental ward?)) But maybe she is merely insane because her queen was basically thrown down in the early 20th century. I would think her anger has something to do with revenge, I would know, but then again I am not psychiatrist. Maybe you should sit her down and talk about her queen. I'm sure she would appreciate having a talk with someone, especially a half-sister :)

Uhm… Nicole Braginski Carriedo? Alright, sounds okay to me!

Sincerely yours,

Иван Branginski

P.S. Bipolar disorder AND Schizophrenia? Look, I would know about those crazy things. I can take much more care of you than Alfred can! Is it safe to ask why you have those disorders in the first place?

xx

_Translations in order:_

Да – _Yes_

Дорогой Бог – _Dear God_

Иван Branginski – _Ivan Braginski_

_Fer seious mein? I… didn't know that. _

_Is that a legit statistic? XD_

_~PimpinSushi _


	71. From Andorra

((~from Sara The Angel))

((Love the story ^^ ))

Dear Ivan,

do I get noticed? I'm the smallest country in Europe, and I'm sick of people not knowing who I am!

Anyway, I don't think you're scary or creepy!I think you're really cool! So, how are you? I hope you're doing well! And I just noticed I'm ending most of my sentences with excalmation points.. Well, I've got to go to a meeting. Bye!

-Ana Gondolaz, Also known as the Principality of Andorra

xx

Привет Andorra? Was it?

… Have I met you before? I mean, I have never… heard of you… How do you know my name?

I mean, I do suppose I am the all famous Russian Federation but I swear I have never heard of you. Please excuse my bluntness, it's just… I did not even know you existed. Мне очень жаль! D:

Anyway, its advice you want, eh? Try growing an enormous pair of breasts, people seem to notice Ukraine a lot! Have a lot of presence, and maybe hold up a sign with your name on it. Develop a quirk; ((mine is sunflowers and vodka, please do not steal it!)) You know, how Alfred has his burgers? Matt has his syrup? Prussia with his imaginary awesome? Austria and music? That's what those countries are known for entirely, if "Andorra" develops something that makes it individual, and it's something everyone wants, then you will be noticed in no time! You know, speaking of being "noticed", I actually know someone who is going through the same problem. Have you ever heard of Matthew Williams the Personification of Canada? He suffers from the same "invisibility", maybe you should get in contact with him!

Oh really? You think I'm cool? Well, I hate to brag but I am pretty "cool" as you say. ;D I also have many talents not people know I have. Such as, I know how to do the Macarena! :D ((Mexico is jealous))

Exclamation points are okay. I'm good, how are you as well? Uhm… A-scribbles- I seem to have misspelled your name, how silly of me! Andorra, right?

So yeah! I am good and whatnot. Just out of curiosity, how old are you?

Иван Брагинский

xx

_Translations in order:_

Привет – _Hello_

Мне очень жаль – _I am sorry_

Иван Брагинский – _Ivan Braginski _

…_I had no idea Andorra existed…_

_I am going to store this information and use it when I find it necessary in the future!_

_Which will be like, what, never?_

_D:_

_~PimpinSushi _


	72. From Prussia

((~from Ahniki))

De- ... the hell with this! ò ٨ ó

RUSSIA.

Don't think this is a friggin' whatevertheheck people call it, 'aright? ORESAMA-NO-BLOG's views are decreasing and I think it's got something to do with you and your freak of a plan to get everyone to be "one with you"! IT AIN'T GONNA WORK. So let them "penpals" go so they can do something worthwhile; writing to the awesome me!

Kesesesese, c'mon..! I'm WAY better than you. LOOK! I'm a chick-magnet, PRUSSIAN, wayyy better-looking, and make a great drinking partner. And I'm made of Awesomeness! It's all in the genes. ...Can't get any better then that, now can ya. BD

It beats you by bajillion miles.

SO, gonna wrap this up and say...

GO TO HELL AND NEVER COME BACK. ಠ_ಠ *doodles*

From the closest thing to God (so worship me & never stop),

GILBERT BEILSCHMIDT + Gilbird

PS: Stop writing to Mattie, Sadist D: And get away everything that is maple and pancakes.

You can have waffles instead. They don't need to receive the awesomeness that is me (or Matthew).

xx

Ну привет Prussia!

I've been waiting for your letter for some time now! And now it is finally here, oh joy! :D

I had nothing to do with "oresama-no-blog" 's views. Have you ever stopped to think that they just… uhm, suck? They sound conceited? Like they may be talking about _one_ person the entire time? It's not as if people don't want to read it because they are too busy writing to me; ((though, that's 50% of the reason.)) it is because no one wants to read a damn essay on how "awesome" you are ((except for Americans. They love selfish blogs for some reason…)).So please, do not be a pessimist and blame these things on me, okay? Okay.

Oh, and I think people becoming one will work, dear Prussia. You were "one with me" for awhile as well, were you not? I had so much fun with you that decade! Did you not have fun with me?

I've seen your blog Gilbert, the only person who writes to you is Ludwig… and he is usually telling you to clean your room upstairs or something along those lines. Aren't you a grown man? Get your own damn apartment!

((Oh! And my blog has like, a hundred more views than yours does! Food for thought. ;D))

Do you really think I am уродливый? That makes me sad, Gilbert! But then again, you always did have bad taste… and you do avoid relationships. So perhaps you have an issue with your own self esteem. I mean, who _wouldn't_ love a scrawny unhealthy albino vital-region stealing nutcase as their "man candy"? I mean, come on now!

Oh no you did not just challenge the almighty Russian Federation to a drinking contest. Gilbert, one thing I never lose at is a drinking contest. Do not tempt me, or you will be embarrassed in front of an entire bar. Vodka beats cruddy German beer anyway.

I'm taking you with me, you freak of nature. And your doodles are insanely rude, I will have you know! That's why I drew something better! –Doodles of Prussia getting vital regions stolen by Austria-

You have the artistic skills of a two-year old.

I would rather kiss Mongolia,

Иван Брагинский

P.S. Пожалуйста, заткнись D: There is no harm in writing little Matvey!, If you really had a problem why didn't you make a move already? Don't walk in on my territory, you little home wrecker!

Oh, and we are going on a date! I hope you are lonely for years to come!

xx

_Translations in order:_

Ну привет – _Well hello_

_oresama-no-blog – ((just in case you need it)) Prussia's blog._

Уродливый – _Ugly_

Иван Брагинский – _Ivan Braginski_

Пожалуйста, заткнись – _Please Shut up_

_I love this girl for writing as Gilbert! :O_

_She is made of the chemical substance with the atomic symbol of "Aw"_

_Otherwise known as "awesome"_

_It's a really rare chemical, deadly if you handle it the wrong way._

_Oh yes. Chemistry and APH._

_~PimpinSushi _


	73. From Uzbekistan III

((~from 101riot-girl))

dear Russia,

we are both 19 if you only count the repuplic stage but if not we are about 86 but we both appear to be 21.

please send us a video of you causing harm to him...

uzbekistan

xx

Oh my, you're still a boy! No wonder your boss has so many problems with it… Well, you don't have to become one with me anytime soon. Anytime soon being the keyword, when you hit twenty-one, you can be legally mine. :D

Although, when I was seventeen I did much more than any other country. Coughcough. Ah, I feel like such an old man now.

I will be sure to OHGOD THERE'S A BUG ON THE PAPER!

…

Ahah, I squashed it… with a shoe. Uhm… not that the Great Russian Federation is afraid of bugs or anything! They're just so icky! I mean… poisonous. o_o

… Uhm, well, sorry if the paper is a bit crumbled and has bug insides on it. Kolkol…

Uh… well then, I will be sure to! I hit him upside his stupid giant mouth with "Natasha." My pipe! ^^; Did you get the videos yet? I hope my performance was up to par. My right swing might be a little rusty.

The ever so sexy,

Иван Branginski

xx

_Translations in order:_

Иван Брагинский – _Ivan Braginski _

_~PimpinSushi _


	74. From Gerogia III

((~from Georgia))

Dear Russia,

Not all countries are laughing...like Armenia, she is worried about you. I get worried about you to sometimes. I'm sure that there are some countries who like you.

A giant hose? That would make my economy fall real fast, and my boss would not appreciate that.

N-no of course not! I don't like fire, why would I do that? I think it was...Sweden who did it! Yeah, you know how Sweden is.

Okay, I'll do that. What is under your scarf? I think you're hiding something in there, it fascinated me for a long time.

Russia...I'm a boy. How could you forget? I look nothing like a girl.

Yes mom...I will not give you back-talk.

-gulp- I-im not that innocent, but I am a vir-HEY! I am not a virgin!

From,

Georgia

P.S: Oh know, you know what that means? It means that she is immortal!

(authors note: He is so a virgin. He has a love-hate relationship with Russia, and they tease each other a lot.)

xx

Привет Georgia!

That is very reassuring to hear… I actually thought Armenia was mad at me because I stepped into her home with muddy shoes. I thought she would never forgive me!

Don't even worry about the giant hose thing! I was only kidding! ((Not really.)) I'm sure your boss would be mad… as my boss would be upset as well if I accepted a favor from such a tiny country… You think he would accept all the handouts he can get. But no, he's incredibly picky, too much pride I'm afraid. Like I said, don't worry your pretty little head, Georgia! :D

I know you didn't do it; you are much too innocent to do such a horrible thing to me. Besides, you don't really know how to tell a lie. It's really easy to decode you, man. You get all shaky, and nervous, and most of the time you end up fainting.

Well, I know Sweden is a pretty terrifying opponent, but he is one of those people who are permanently neutral. I'm sure he isn't the culprit. And I know it wasn't Alfred, but I wouldn't put it past him… little сука ._.

Alright, thanks for hitting my hand at the last world meeting. I certainly learned my lesson. Uhm… what's under my scarf? Uh ha, I know we are close… but there are some things I just cannot tell. Мои извинения Georgia; but if you're that interested, why do you not come and check for yourself?

…Oh… really? But you're such a tiny thing… I thought you were just an undeveloped girl or something… my mistake then! Maybe if you cut your hair I would be able to tell the difference. Get a haircut, you look like a hippy!

Good thing you know your place, _boy_. I would have had to teach you discipline, and my discipline is very unlike the discipline of let's say, Germany. All I can say is that it is very… different. :)

Kolkolkol. Oh that's right; I know you're not a virgin! Exactly how far have you gotten?

Let's be serious, Georgia. If it makes you feel better, my house is always empty and you become one with Russia whenever you feel like it. Just give me a call ;)

The ever so sexy,

Иван Брагинский

P.S. Бог… it is worse than I expected. Be right back, gonna go skip town for a bit.

xx

_Translations in order:_

Привет – _Hello_

Сука – _Bitch_

Мои извинения – _My apologies_

Иван Брагинский – _Ivan Braginski_

Бог – _God_

_They do? Then it's pretty cool of you to choose a tiny country like Georgia to write as._

_So like…_

_Does it make me a dirty pervert for starting to like-ish the pairing of Ivan and Georgia?_

_-had dirty thoughts about them doing dirty things while writing the parts about being a virgin- xD _

_Oh, and exactly how old is Georgia? Is he like, a teenager? Because I don't condone lolicons and shota_

_Stay cool :D_

_~PimpinSushi _


	75. From Ireland

((~from Niki-the-awesome))

Aw hell. I wasn't going to write te yah, since we don't have that much history, but now I don't really care.  
I'm drunk and angry Ivan. Where did all the jobs go? Half my people are leaving the country just to get money somewhere else. It's not MY fault the world is fecked over! This whole crisis with money and jobs and doctors applying to work at McDonald's. I haven't felt this pissed off since England fecken-  
And Georgia can go to hell! What the FECK was he thinkin? And why did America get all pissed off about it! I say, if da little bastard wants to pick a fight with you, then let him! You should have kicked his ass! Serves im right, slappen da biggest fecken country in the world.  
And ((words become too scribbled to understand)) But we both know how dat would end. ..

Feck…

I just want to punch someone. (not you though, I can beat the god out of a lot of people, but you fecken scare me sometimes. I don't want to punch you in the face).  
Maybe it's the drink talkin. I shouldn't mail this but, aw hell ((more scribbles))

-Ireland

p.s How the FECK did you invent vodka first? If I knew before that we could make alcohol out of potatoes I would be a much happier nation.

((I hope that wasn't so totally lame =P))

xx

Well Privyet, Ireland! :D

Having history is not too much of a bad thing. If it makes you feel better, having too much history makes you feel old and worn out. Like… milk or something. You don't want to be milk, do you?

… Oh, how you remind me of myself when I'm on one of my drunken rampages. Hm… except for the part where I seem to rape people… Then there is a very big difference between our drunken rampages.

Believe it or not Ireland, there are jobs for the dumbest things know a days. Naturally, everyone wants to be a cop, a doctor, a lawyer, or a firefighter. What about the other jobs? Nursing, psychiatry, physical therapy? There are many jobs out there, they are just well hidden. And no, they are not on craigslist. Why do you not try other jobs in what you love most, eh?

The Brewery business; I know how you Irishman love your rum and whiskey, да?

What did England do to you?

Same for Georgia o_o I have been talking to Georgia and he seems like a very cordial fellow. A bit naïve but cordial nonetheless. I think you're so drunk you're getting angry at everything, Ireland.

Though, I do appreciate you taking sides with me when it comes to the constant fighting between America and I. It did hurt when he, for a lack of better words, bitch slapped me. I will definitely kick his ass soon enough, не волнуйтесь, Ireland! :D

Uhm… excuse me, Ireland… I can't really your handwriting. It's hard to tell whether you're speaking Irish, English, or Russian. I just see something about kilts… doggy style and orange juice… Wow, you are seriously plastered, my friend.

Oh uhm, I would recommend punching a wall. But from what England tells me your house is full of holes in the wall from you releasing your anger out of them. Try punching a woman, they are pretty useless anyway. Kidding. ((not really.)) And no, you would not want to punch me. I do not like being touched too often and I retaliate rather brashly. A thousand pardons on my behalf. Punch Scotland, eh? :)

Oh, really? You think? Of course it's the damn rum talking. Ireland, I suggest you go get some sleep before you stab yourself with the pencil you're using to scribble all over the paper. Or trip on an obje-

I'm already too late, aren't I?

Make sure to drink milk and bread so you'll throw up.

Your hangover will be a killer one

Good luck with… stuff,

Иван Брагинский

P.S. Because I am the genius Russian Federation? Come on, Ireland, even if you're plastered beyond comparison you should know that Russians have amazing taste in alcohol. Westernized drinks weren't doing it for us, so we developed a drink for REAL men. Such as myself, GET SOME! The potatoes also came in handy during the 1920s… what a crazy ass decade.

xx

_Translations in order:_

_Privyet – Hello_

Да – _Yes_

не волнуйтесь – _Do not worry_

Иван Брагинский – _Ivan Braginski_

_Uhm. The thing about "women being useless" _

_I don't think Ivan really… uhm, respects women that much? The only women in his life are Ukraine, Belarus, and Kievan Rus. If Ivan were to respect one woman in his life, it would be Ukraine ((c'mon, I love her, she's such a sweetheart)). Reason being, Kievan is gone and Belarus is scary and unapproachable. So there… sorry if I offended anybody. If you have a different opinion, tell me and I'll take that line out :)_

_Anyway, thanks for an Irish one! I feel like you sent me such an awesome letter and my reply was a total fail. Hope you aren't disappointed._

_I LOVE the United Kingdom… -sigh- and I think Ireland is hot. Hurhur._

_Now, I'm gonna go drown my sorrows in a rerun of Boardwalk Empire and forget my reply was such a fail._

_Until next time! _

_~PimpinSushi_


	76. From North Carolina

((~from elektraeriseros))

Dear Mr. Russia,

I believe that this is my first time writing to ya, so let me first start off by sayin' "hello".

Hello.

...Now that that's over with, I wanted to talk to ya about my uncle Matt.  
Unlike my brothers, sisters, and Daddy, I'm not gonna tell to NOT date my uncle, because (quite frankly) what you and uncle Mattie do in your spare time is none of my business. But I will tell you this:  
You do ONE THING that upsets my uncle, and there WILL be HELL to pay.  
I know I'm a state and can't officially threaten you with nukes, but just think of it this way:  
Me and Natalya? Your sister? We're besties. BFFs. Tight.  
You get the picture.  
...But, I hope you have a fun time with Uncle Matt! He really seems to like you! :D  
...Just don't screw it up.

Best of luck!

Savannah Leigh Jones (North Carolina)

xx

Dear North Carolina,

I will start by saying привет as well… so uhm, привет!

It is so cute that you are worrying over your Uncle Matvey, I would pat you on the head if you were in front of me for all of your… huggability.

It's nice to hear that you approve of our blossoming "relationship." I've been receiving a lot of scrutiny for it… well, not really. It's just, I know some people are thinking "what the hell?", but will not say it out loud because they're afraid I'm going to hurt them. ((Which is true))

But do not worry too much North Carolina; I will not hurt Matvey… on purpose anyway. I think we all know I'm pretty… big in some areas, so the first time is certainly going to hurt Matvey and…

Oh, you meant emotionally didn't you?...

In that case, give me more credit than that, Savannah! D: The last thing I want is to hurt Matvey's feelings! I will treat him with the same ((maybe even more)) respect Roderich treats his piano. I really do care about Matvey, despite what people may think, and I can guarantee that he and I will be happy together!

Oh… I do not believe it is necessary to bring Natalya into this… she doesn't need to know, да? Come on, NC, you wouldn't do this to the ever so amazing Russian Federation, would you? Why are you and my sister close anyway?

Well… haha…If you refrain from bringing my сестра into this I promise I'll stop mistaking you for South Carolina… ((Even though you two look exactly alike.)) And if that doesn't work, I have some gum with your name on it. ((That's so NOT something I just fished from my pocket…))

Really? Matvey likes me? Ahh, that gives me a really nice feeling. Or maybe that's the burning sensation of vodka…

Whatever, they both feel nice.

Matvey and I will certainly try and have much забава as possible, and I may not be the best when it comes to relationships but I can certainly hold my own. In the event that things do happen to go array, I have a sexy dance prepared that no one is immune to.

Спасибо! I feel like a very lucky man :)

Sincerely Yours,

Иван Брагинский

xx

_Translations in order:_

Привет – _Hello_

Да – _Yes_

Сестра – _Sister_

Забава – _Fun_

Спасибо – _Thank you_

Иван Брагинский – _Ivan Braginski_

_Oh god… tell me how I totes checked my PM's and just found your letter after you sent it…what, a month ago?_

_Can you ever forgive me? D:_

_~PimpinSushi_


	77. From Alaska

((~from BugzAttack))

Dear Father,

It's been a long time. How are you?

Um... I don't know how to ask this but... How do you get someone to fall in love with you? I'm trying to woo Texas but I can never find her. It's almost like she's running away from me ;_; I've been getting advice from Auntie Belarus and watching porn for inspiration but it doesn't seem to be working. (Speaking of Auntie, you should start preparing your own food at the next world conference, she mentioned something about spiked drinks and vodka.) It might be just me but I don't think that Hawaii likes Texas very much. Me and Hawaii normally get along. We both feel like outsiders in our own families, we both get forgotten on the map, were both really scared of Japan, etc. But whenever I talk about Texas she suddenly gets pissed, I've never seen her act like that before...

There's been another thing weighing on my mind for a while, since 1867 actually. 2.3 cents an acre? I understand your reasons, but that's all? Is that really all I was worth to you? ;_; Did you know that when Daddy took me in the other states laughed at me? They called me Seward's Icebox or Seward's Folly, it was horrible! Even now they still think I live in an igloo. (

Daddy's pretty nice though, I get one of the biggest allowances (federal spending) in the entire family! :D Still, he's gotten really REALLY ANNOYING. OK, that was harsh, but he's always bossing me around and telling me what to do. Every time I see him he starts telling me what, how, and where to develop, or that he doesn't like my predator control, or I can't stay out past curfew or stalk Tennessee when she's out with Texas, or blah blah blah! It's like he doesn't want me to grow up! Non of the other states ever got babied like this! ( I love Dad to death, but he's an overprotective bureaucratic %^! sometimes!

On another note, could you at least TRY to get along with him? Every time you guys fight I'M the one who gets stuck in the middle. All during the Cold War Dad expected me to keep an eye on you(I'm still watching Siberia), And you were always flying your Tu-160s over my head! NOT COOL! I also found one of your spies in my closet (didn't sleep for a month). You are my father and I still love you, but you're very scary sometimes. If you have issues with Dad don't take it out on me.

Sincerely,

Alaska

P.S. I have been playing hockey with Canada lately and I'm getting my a$$ kicked. Do you have any playing advise?

P.S. Sarah Palin can see you from her house. =P

xx

Dear Alaska,

It is so nice to hear from you, my beautiful дочь! It certainly has been awhile… what keeps you so busy and away from your papa these days? At any rate, I'm not in my best health right now, but I am certainly trying to hold up! But no matter how busy I am I still need to make time for you. I hope you can forgive me for not being the best father possible! What about you?

… Oh… it's… dating advice you want? Haha… well, sweetie listen. I can't necessarily give you advice on how to make someone fall in love with you, love is just something that… occurs naturally? Like a hurricane… or a tsunami, or Prussia talking about himself. It's not something you can dictate; both parties have to be willing. ((I tried getting Lithuania to fall in love with me; but since I forced him all what happened is that he became afraid of me.))

Texas, you say? Well, this is the last thing you may want to hear, but Texas has been writing to me as well… and she says that you scare her into becoming one with you. That no matter how many times she chases you away you manage to come back. Perhaps you should stop pursuing her for I do not think she likes you back…

But do not be so sad, dear! What is the fun in going after someone who shoves you away, да? Cheer up, I will take you out for some Мороженое! ^^

Oh… so the rumors of you watching Alfred's stash of pornography are true. I do not regret to inform you that there isn't much you can learn from porn ((besides positions, I guess))… But anyway, please do not watch that anymore, it's beneath the Braginski's and much too graphic for a girl your age… ((Uh, how old are you now? Twelve, right?...fifteen?... seventeen?)) Well… it's somewhere in that range.

I will keep an eye out for your aunt o_o

I could see how you and Hawaii would get along… you molest people for fun, she eats people. It's a match made in creeper heaven. Does Hawaii talk to you often? Texas wants to know why Hawaii stalkers her so much in the first place. Do you know the reason for that?

Мне очень жаль слышать, что… I was going through… a rough time where I was in desperate need of money and I regret to say ((but I would be lying if I said otherwise)) you were a pretty useless piece of land. As a father, I had to make a choice and I knew you would be better off with Alfred taking care of you. I was in no state to keep a child… but I did want the best for you. Alaska. I know that no amount of reasoning or complaining will make you understand why I sold you, but one thing I do ask for is forgiveness. You do mean a lot to me; you are and will always be my little дочь and Я люблю тебя. So uhm… forgive your papa Ivan, да?

Mne ochenʹ zhalʹ slyshatʹ, chto

Dictionary - View detailed dictionary

**noun **

мороженое

It is nice to hear that you and your "mother" get along well; perhaps we can have a family picnic and have "oodles of fun!" :D Alfred is overprotective because he cares about you, dear. It is annoying, VERY annoying, ((Your aunt Ukraine would do the same to me)), but know that it is in good spirits. You are still a bit immature and naïve about the world. The only times you travel are to either talk to Hawaii or stalk Texas so it's really easy for you to lose your way.

Что? Blame your mother, not me! I'm trying to get along with Alfred but he can be so unbearable! I honestly think I'm going to go insane trying to find common ground with that man. Ugh. But I will suck it up and be the bigger man ((no reference to my actual size)), if it means you will be safe and out of harm's way :)

Ваш любящий отец,

Иван Брагинский

xx

P.S. Just don't die. If Matvey comes close to you, forfeit. He will kill you o_o

P.P.S. I noticed ((she stares at me whenever I undress o_o))… she is a very scary for someone who doesn't know where the continent of Africa is on the map.

xx

_Translations in order:_

Дочь – _Daughter_

Да – _Yes_

Мне очень жаль слышать, что – _I am very sorry to hear that_

Я люблю тебя. – _I love you_

Что? – _What?_

Ваш любящий отец – _Your loving father_

Иван Брагинский – _Ivan Braginski_

_Yipee! A letter from Alaska. _

_~PimpinSushi_


	78. From Alberta IV

((~from Raining Sun))

Dear Ivan,

No. He died. ...Of course he's alive :D My daddy doesn't die that easily!

I HAVE IMPORTANT NEWS. I was going to the kitchen one night. No, I obviously wasn't hungry for any Maple Syrup in the middle of the night, no, why would you ever think that? And anyways while on my trip to the kitchen I heard voices, and hid behind the stairs to, erm, make sure there weren't any burglars or something while keeping my ears open for any voices that may give away what they want to, erm, steal. ._. But I realized it was Daddy and Alfred talking, and they were whispering, and I heard them saying that Daddy lied to me o_o Apparently Alfred is the only one who knows, being his brother and all, and he didn't want anyone else, namely me, to find out that he *does* like you!

...That's a good thing :D ...Actually it's only a good thing if you promise not to tell him I told you anything o.o

Do I know any good restaurants? Hmm... I am not sure.. From what I know of there isn't really such thing as Canadian Food specifically. Instead I recommend getting Daddy to make his pancakes with Maple Syrup! They're way better than in restaurants and I'm sure he'll be more than happy to, since my siblings and I always bug him till he makes us pancakes~

Yay! Scarf Shopping! It shall be fun ^^

Until next time,

Aly~

xx

Dearest Alberta,

Oh okay… that is very good to hear. If he died, that would make me a necro. And no one likes necro's… D:

Seriously? Well, it is a good thing they were not burglars and it is nice to hear that you are safe. But that is exceptional news, Alberta! :D It makes me want to do a victory dance, excuse me for a second.

…

Alright then, you will finally have a second father. Isn't that grand?

((But it makes me wonder, what was Alfred doing there this late anyway?))

Also, I wonder why Matvey would keep it a secret from you. I mean, he does know you're writing to me right? And I can easily just tell you that we have a date soon and whatnot. Maybe he is just a bit shy, my, how прелестный.

Do not worry Aly, I promise not to tell on you; even though it is painstakingly obvious he likes me. I mean, who can resist the Russian Federation, да?

And if it makes you feel better, I will tell you a little secret about me.

I love watching America's Next Top Model…((But the name confuses me. How many "top" models can you have? Doesn't "top" just mean "one"?)) Anyway, because that show airs nearly everywhere it has spread to even Russia. Damn, I love that show.

There. :)

Alright, I'll keep that in mind. I always knew Matvey liked to cook, never knew to what extent. We will have pancakes and maple syrup then. Как прекрасно :D

Indeed, I already started looking into the Canadian shops. Canadian fashion is very similar to American fashion and French fashion… how odd.

До свидания и хорошего дня,

Иван Брагинский

xx

_Translations in order:_

Прелестный – _Exciting_

Да – _Yes_

Как прекрасно – _How lovely_

До свидания и хорошего дня – _Goodbye and Good day_

Иван Брагинский – _Ivan Braginski_

_You seem to be all for Ivan asking Matt out on a date. Harhar._

_;D_

_~PimpinSushi_


	79. From Philippines

((~from makeshift-rolley))

Dear Ivan,

It's Philippines, the one who considers America as his hero?

I don't think you're that creepy but since I'm so short you make me feel frightened. I can see that Kuya America doesn't like you at all because whenever he comes over he rants at my face how he hates you.

I'm starting to get tired of America's antics but it's hard to tell him off. I mean he saved me from Spain-I was doing perfectly fine until he barged in-and it makes me feel guilty.

Also Kuya Malaysia and Ate Indonesia said that being around America makes me forget my culture. They said that I'm too 'westernized' and they want me to forget about America.

If it's okay for you, can we have lunch together some time? It would probably make me feel more comfortable around you, despite of our 'height differences.'

From,

-Pedro Juan Burgos a.k.a Philippines

xx

Dear Pedro,

Why you consider that man a hero I will never understand. But it is not my place to judge, да?

Anyway, I'm sorry for scaring you D:

I don't mean to do it, it's my demeanor… I guess. But once you've grown this tall it's hard to shrink back down. Maybe I can give you some milk so you can build strong bones and stretch out. It is true Alfred does not like me; I do not take to kindly to the man either. -_- How do you stand him?

I can see why it is hard to tell off someone like Alfred, considering he has the vigor of a bison and he is incredibly hard-headed… Plus, it's hard to keep that idiot's attention for more than five minutes before he wants a cheese burger. But I assure you, with a few tries of yelling at a mirror you will stand up to Alfred in no time! :D Aw, have you ever talked to Spain about this? He seems like a cordial fellow, he'll understand.

Well, sometimes being the personification of your country is a gift and a curse. You can embrace your culture or you can forget about it completely. I don't think you've forgotten your roots entirely; but you _are_ becoming a bit westernized. You are free to make your own decisions despite the opinions of Malaysia and Indonesia, or anybody else for that matter, but who you are is still important. Also, Alfred is fat. So don't become fat like him.

Конечно! Lunch sounds fine! :D I would prefer at your place. I have always wanted to try Filipino food. And I think our height differences are a bit humorous; especially if we hold hands or something. People might think you are my son, Kolkolkol.

Yours Truly,

Иван Брагинский

xx

_Translations in order:_

Да – _Yes_

Конечно! – _Of course_

Иван Брагинский – _Ivan Braginski_

_Welp. I finally got to your letter, Philippines! ^_^;_

_~PimpinSushi_


	80. From The Baltics

((~from roller-coaster15))

D-dear R-ru-russia,

I-I j-ju-just w-wa-want t-to t-te-tell y-yo-you tha-that w-we I-I me-mean I-I wa-w-want *faints*

.

.

.

.

Dear Russia

We(Latvia, Lithuania and I) want you to leave us alone. Stop pestering us, stop calling us and stop coming to our houses in the middle of the night.

Raivis Galante, Latvia *scratches* (Ah I can't believe Latvia plans to send this blank, Oh well)

Siiralt,

Eduard von Bock, Estonia

P.S. I see Belarus is still chasing you. I'll see if I can hook her up with Lithuania.

P.P.S. AAHCK! I TAKE EVERYTHING BACK! VABANDUST, MR. RUSSIA! Besides the Lithuania-Belarus hook up.

P.P.P.S. Weren't they married for six months, before?

xx

Dear Lithuania, Latvia, and Estonia

I assume the first person to write here was Latvia… and well, he fainted. It is so nice exchanging words ((or a lack thereof)) with you, Latvia! How are you these days? What are you trying to say exactly? Oh well…

I think you should know, since this is a letter it is not really necessary for you to stutter. In fact, I think it took you longer to write "w-wa-want" rather than just "want." Come now, Latvia, I know we are not one but you must have adopted _some_ of my common sense.

I thought what we had was special! A connection no person or no amount of space between us can break. I only visit because you will not answer my calls in the first place; when you do not answer I become worried and need to see if you're alright. That is when I visit you, and your doors seem to be locked so I break in. It is because I care. :D

In fact, I think I will visit you right now!

See you in a few,

Иван Брагинский

P.S. Да, she is very persistent. Would you do me that favor? Ahh, you are great, Eduard!

P.P.S. Take everything back? Aww, but I am outside your home already. :( Such a waste of a trip.

P.P.P.S. Lithuania and Belarus? For a while, until we all became one –heart- :3

xx

_Translations in order:_

Иван Брагинский – _Ivan Braginski_

Да – _Yes_

_Hooray a letter from the Baltics. YUH._

_Ivan raped all three of them, man. That's intense… and that's talent. XD _

_Thanks for the letter! :)_

_~PimpinSushi_


	81. From Utah and Colorado V

((~from StaraLaura))

Yo, Creepy Eyes,

I wanna start this whole shitty thing out by saying, Brenda is drunk on the couch as of now and keeps telling me to write this damn letter. She only had one bottle of vodka though... WTF. So I just want to let you know, I, Utah the Awesomest winter athlete ever, will be replying to your stupid commie letters. Truce? ~slaps himself~

I'm not a funny character. I'm fit unlike my dad, who went out into the desert with me and nearly died b/c he used soda and Doritos as a replacement for water and an orange. Then, I got the Olympics. Plus, I have Ken Jennings and he's smart like ME. You're the funny character here, not me.

I think the triceritops is Brenda's national/favorite dino. So he's a dino. Not a hackn' rock. At least she HAS a baseball team. And a football team. And... a hockey team. A-And why does she get all of these s-sports...? Those teardrops on this paragraph are MANLY tears.

... Dude, do you think you could send another vodka? I'm depressed...

Commie dude, Brenda and I are gonna kick your ass in 2014. And she wasn't drunk when she said that so HA.

My sister is a lightweight, I'm SORRY OKAY? I DIDN'T MEAN TO LET HER TAKE THAT MANY DRINKS IN FRONT OF FRANCE AND I'M SOOORRRRYYYYYY... Don't get me wrong, I still hate her... In a brotherly way.

I don't care if you're sad. And don't talk in third person. :(

I did tell on Brenda but I said it while Florida and Dad were crying their eyes out about the stupid oil spill. ("MY OOOOIIIIIIILLLLLLLLLL, MY MOOOOONNNEEEEYYYY, SO MUCH FOR BRITISH ENGINEERING, WHYYYYYY") So you got off lucky, commie.

Bleh,

Tristan Jones/Brenda Jones

P.S. Next world meeting, I'm just gonna hit you upside the head with my snowboard. And I did not CRY, I was sweating though my eyes.

P.P.S. ... Whatever. I'm better looking than you so shuddup, fuckn' bastard, what the hell...

P.P.P.S I need to stop with the "P.P.S"'s but Brenda (she's on morphine haha) says hi and your scarf will be vodka scented. Whatever that means...

********

(God, I hate insulting Ivan so much XD Good job with this story and I would say go for the annoymous reviewer thing. And I'm glad my letter "amused you so" lol)

xx

Dear Utah, ((Please address me in a much more formal manner. It is a matter of respect, да?))

Only one bottle? She only had _one_ bottle?

Not only am I but I am also offended amused ((because, I mean, who would stop at only one bottle of the most delicious drink in the world?)). I was right about her being such a lightweight, maybe I won't send her anymore bottles of vodka. Why the hell does Alfred give her Coors if she can't hold her alcohol that well…I hope you aren't the same way, Utah. That can prove very inconvenient for you in the future; trust me. ((Paris thinks that I am the father to her child… alas, alcohol is extremely destructive.))

Anyway; perhaps she begs of you to keep writing to me because maybe she happens to really like me. ;)

I am fine writing to you as Brenda recovers, seeing as I have no problems with it, you should have no problem with it either, Tristan. I kind of like you. Plus, I know you like me too because otherwise, you would not be replying at all. In fact, you should be taking care of Brenda at this moment instead of reading this letter. ((Don't deny your uncontrollable lust for me ;D ))

Well, I think you're a funny kid. The way you act, you remind me of myself when I was but a young boy. Putting up such a tough front when really, you are as soft as a marshmallow on the inside. But don't worry, some girls ((and maybe some men)) find that attractive. I know you are fit, ((Alfred is fit as well)) but seeing as how when the Olympics roll around, you Americans decide that "McDonalds is the unhealthiest thing, like, ever," you are not exactly the smartest when it comes to health and weight loss. ((Yes, I believe I just insulted you.))

Really? The triceratops? She should have chosen something much more ferocious, such as a bear! I know compared to a dinosaur, a bear is relatively… tiny… but bears are still alive! AND they are the great national animal of Mother Russia. So да, just think about changing the "Colorado Rockies" to the "Colorado Bears", or maybe the "Colorado Sunflowers."

Do not worry about such a thing as popularity, Utah. Brenda is just a lot more active than you are! Not to say you do not do anything yourself. In fact, I hear Utah is extremely active in the… chess department. Isn't that swell?

…Yeah, sorry to say. But Utah has a baseball team at least! See? And I'll consider sending you some vodka.

You really think you're going to kick my arse in 2014? Give me a break, Utah. The Russians have scored higher than America in every sport except soccer these past two Olympics. So suck me! Also, I'm surprised you guys believe in 2014 anyway… you Americans are so "omg2012shiit" and whatnot.

Your plan misfired; I hope you feel like a failure. This just showed you should not have told on Brenda in the first place, or that Alfred has too many kids to manage. OR that Arthur's engineering is not as reliable as we think it is.

It is not luck, the world just likes me.

Тупые американские

Sincerely Yours,

Иван Брагинский

P.S. Just try, don't miss again and hit a window. Those meeting rooms cost a lot of money to rent out.

P.P.S. Why are you being so mean? Honestly, do you really think I am ugly? D:

xx

_Translations in order:_

Да – _Yes_

Тупые американские – _Stupid American ((this might be wrong.))_

Иван Брагинский – _Ivan Braginski_

…

_So uh, hey guys. :D_

_I know you hate me, so just… uhm, yeah. I'll be updating regularly now! Isn't that swell? _

_At any rate, your letters are so cute. Many congrats on Letters of L'amour. I know my reply is next, so you better hurry and update! ((unlike me. Who updates every sesquentennial.)) _

_Pfft. Who likes insulting Ivan? He's only perfect in every way. =w=_

_Anyway, great to be back! Love you guysss!_

_~PimpinSushi _


	82. From Greenland II

Dear Ivan

You think I really care? I don't like you, and Alfred is seriously annoying and a creeper. I don't know how Mattie deals with him…

I agree with you, crushing Denmark would be fun. The damn bastard…Someday he will pay for all his crimes…

Denmark's battle axe? I broke it when I was younger. He couldn't find another one so he just ordered a plastic one off eBay. I'm pretty sure it would break if it hit anything.

The reason we like that kind of weapon is because with stabby, pointy things, you get to see more blood than with blunt, smashy things where you only get a couple of bruises. And bruises really suck.

Class? Are you kidding? You think that that forcefully breaking a pipe and bringing it everywhere you go is class? Do you sleep with it as well?

And no, no one has ever told me that because if you have already forgotten, the closest thing I had to a parent was Mr. Look-at-me-I'm-an-awesome-drunken-Viking-wannabe!

Haha, yes I realise, and you must realise that you are annoying me too. You say you have good reasons, but they are only good FOR YOU. If your country expands, mine shrinks.

BIGGEST COUNTRY IN THE WORLD MY ASS! I DON'T CARE! I'M STILL THE BIGGEST ISLAND THAT ISN'T A CONTINENT! *Runs away crying*

From Aaruna Ujuaansi, Greenland

P.S. Yes, but maybe you could learn not to be so full of yourself. You're ego is big enough to make Vash cry. Seriously.

xx

Dear Greenland,

Well, considering you're not that old and you should respect your elders ((especially those stronger and more resourceful than you are)), you should indeed care. I can seriously crush you, and I do not even need my lead pipe to do it. :) And Matvey has informed that he just ignores Alfred and says "да" to everything he says. So there's your answer to that.

Crushing Denmark would indeed be fun, shall we join forces? At least we agree on something, eh? However, what crimes? Do you speak of? Do you mean taking over England and Scotland during the Anglo-Saxon periods? Or… the fact that Mathais raped you until 1814? :)

How cunning of you to break his axe, how did he react? ((If he found out, that is.)). I would seriously slap a bitch if they broke my lead pipe. Apparently, it's okay to sell weapons on eBay.

Oh, but my dear boy, it is much more satisfying to use a lead pipe. With sharp objects, you get more wounds than you do blood. And _wounds_ really suck. Plus, it's easier to trace the crime back to you if you use a knife or sword. To put it simply, pipes own knives. Look it up. :D

I do happen to think it is class. There is nothing wrong with carrying around the things you most desire. Matvey has his bear, Kumajiro; Denmark with his axe, Finland with Hantamago. See? It is human nature, dear boy. So do not judge me for carrying around my most trusted friend; my lead pipe. You are merely ревнивый, Greenland.

What do you take me for, Greenland? I am no idiot; I kept in everyone's best interest when making them become one with me! I gave Latvia romance novels to keep him busy; I gave Eduard books and Lithuania some of his favorite food! Besides, Greenland has a population of what, two? What is the point of you keeping your land if no one will use it; you may as well hand it over, nice and peacefully.

Get over it, if you are going to act tough then back it up, pansy.

With love,

Иван Брагинский

P.S. Hет, do not tell me what to do. Learn manners, andI will refrain from crushing your fingers, мальчик.

xx

_Translations in order:_

Ревнивый – _Jealous_

Иван Брагинский – _Ivan Braginski_

Hет – _No_

Мальчик – _Boy _

_Hooray! Thanks for the letter. _

_It was quite… harassing. _

_Oh, and just so you know, people who read this; Denmark did own Greenland until 1814; as well as our kicking serious British and Scottish ass during the 1400s. _

_So in Hetalia language, it was indeed, "rape." _

_:D_

_~PimpinSushi _


	83. From Wisconsin

((~from Marina Hawk))

Dear Mr. Braginsky, may I call you Ivan? I'll assume I can. Everyone else does,

It's Wisconsin here! I see that many of my brothers and sisters have already written to you. I felt the random desire to do the same. You are a very amazing country. I once thought my winter was bad, but I see you have it much worse and throughout the year. I send a packet of sunflower seeds. I believe Savannah gave you a greenhouse in which they could be grown.

I've notced that you've taken a slightly creepy liking to my father, Canada. I kinda find it nice that someone takes notice of my dad. I understand what it feels like to be unnoticed. In the same way that Arthut took ignored Canada and payed most of his attention to Alfred is the way I am overshadowed by my little brother, Cal. Stupid California Gold Rush right after I became a state. Anyway, this isn't your problem. I just don't like being ignored. It makes me really want to attack Cal. But of course that would Alfred all mad at me. Somehow, he only notices me when he's angry at me for one thing or the other.

I'm very excited for 2014. I will finally get to see your homeland. I am hoping to decent in the olympics. You're going to be dang near impossible to beat, especially on your own turf. oh well. whenever my citizens are not actually playing I'll either be rooting for you or Matt. Gotta show my dad support. He's gotta get noticed.

I'm planning on coming to the next world meeting. don't tell anyone about it. Strictly speaking, states aren't supposed oto be there. Alfred won't know I'm there unless someone makes my presence known. I doubt anyone will be able to see me besides Matthew anyway, and nobod ever hears him if he tries to say something, so I should probably be safe. Please. I can't to have Alfred yell at me when he doesn't notice me any other time. If I have to go through another one of his lectures, I might hit him, but I don't really have the physical strength to defend myself should he get really mad. He can be frightening when you get him really mad. I mean look at how he retaliated after japan blew up Pearl Harbor. That is not ordinary for a crazy hamburger-loving guy like him. I never want to see himlike that again. If you can see me, first off, yay! someone noticed me, and second: Don't mention that I'm there to Alfred.

This letter has become a lot longer than I originally thought. I'm sorry that I have ranted to you. I don't often get to rant. One more thing before I go. I heard that you were going scarf shopping. may I come to?

Sincerely, and with love,

Wisconsin (Alana Willians)

P.S. your sister came by here earlier. (the crazy one)She wanted to have some cheese and a pitchfork and she mentioned you. just wanted to give you the heads up. Also, no. I did not willingly give her a pitchfork. I told her no, so she stabed me in the leg with a knife and stole one.

P.P.S. I just remembered. Texas told me to tell you she says Hi.

P.P.P.S. I send with this letter 30 pounds of homeade cheese. Why. Because my citizens mass-produce it, and I'm starting to run out of room for it. It's not any of that crappy american cheese. It's the finest Wisconsin cheddar.I also send a hypothetical hug. See ya in 2014!

(Out of letter: I love this story. It's become extremely popular. yLike I said in another review, you keep Russia in character very well. Sorry if this letter was rambly.)

xx

Dear Wisconsin,

It is fine with me if you address me by my first name, for it is a signal of close friendship, да? And I always like making friends.

Your brothers and sisters have indeed been contacting me. How do you know that? From what I have heard, you are very close to Minnesota and Iowa. Not Texas or Colorado, so uhm… did they just… call you and tell you that? Or have you been going through my mail? Tell me the truth!

Sorry, I am a bit paranoid because Belarus has been… well, she is up to her usually self.

Anyway, thank you very much! I think Wisconsin is great with their… vast zoos and deserts. Haha…. Uhm, да; Savannah has been kind enough to give me a greenhouse! Such a sweet girl; and Antonio is helping me maintain it.

A creepy liking to Matvey? I guess that is one way of putting it. He does seem to go unnoticed; I really do not see how. Matvey has a very endearing personality. But then again, with Alfred for a brother, it is easy to lose the limelight. Sometimes though, I feel like a лицемер; I sat on poor Matvey during world meetings on more than one occasion. I hope our upcoming dates will certainly makeup for things! And also, regarding "Iggy", I am sure that at the time, Alfred was going through a lot more than Canada was. Matvey was in a pretty okay state as Alfred was going through the ratification of his states. It is not as much "preference" as it is… "business"? Is that is even the right word. Cheer up, Wisconsin! Perhaps I will set you up on a date with someone who is very noticeable! How about Prussia? He seems very single right now, and I know he wants to be noticed as well because I stripped him of his status like the shallow dog he was-I mean, he fairly lost his title as a country. Maybe you two would be a perfect match!

You are entering the Olympics in 2014? I wish you the best of luck, Wisconsin. But you are right though, this is my turf and I will certainly take the utmost advantage of it. Oh Alfred, you can eat my dust… uh, snow. :)

Really? Why would you want to attend such nonsense? We usually never get anything done… ever. That being said, why would you tell a country that you're going to sneak into one? Wouldn't you be afraid I would tell on you. ;D Kolkol, Het, I would not tell. ((I remember sneaking into meetings with Kievan Rus because she could not find a babysitter. The only available one was Mongolia, and he would molest me… a lot. o_o)) The States are not allowed because the relations are settled between the countries themselves, states are not affected as much as Nations are so it's best to leave them out of the decisions. Besides, last meeting where States were allowed Utah tried to throw a chair at me… it was unpleasant. I mean, it missed and hit Francis which was very entertaining, but you states tend to be quite violent.

Do not apologize, dear. I love talking to amazing people. :D

With love,

Иван Брагинский

P.S. Oh my god! A-Are you okay?

P.P.S. Hello Texas! ((Is she with you?))

P.P.P.S. Hm… I guess I will make many grilled cheese sandwiches. Спасибо!

P.P.P.P.S. Uhm… it seems that… you-know-who is clawing at my door again… I guess I am going to use this cheese as a block for the door. Wish me luck!

xx

_Translations in order:_

Да – _Yes_

Лицемер – _Hypocrite_

Иван Брагинский – _Ivan Braginski_

Спасибо – _Thank You_

_No worries, dear. I didn't mind answering. Though, it was a bit rambly, just a bit._

_Thanks for the liking! I didn't' think this would get so popular. I suppose Ivan is made of awesome. And if it wasn't for reviewers like you, it wouldn't be so popular, would it? ^_^_

_For the last review you sent, _

_How dare you! D:, you did not insult one of my fav pairings! I love USxUK; like, forever man. I feel that APH wise, people don't necessarily have biological fathers or brothers or anything. Nations are different, so there's no "Ew, that's incest." Sort of thing. It's the same with Franada, Spamano, and even GreeceTurkey. If you like any of these pairings, I totes proved a point! ((and if you don't, then I just feel silly.)) _

_Anyway, I'm off to make pancakes… ((Going Canadian up in this hizzouse.))_

_Loved your letter! _

_~PimpinSushi _


	84. From Svannah VI

((~from cross-over-lover232))

dear ivan,quite a few things have happened since you last wrote to me, one day alfred and arther came to my home!i was quite happy at frist until they tried to shove something down my mouth to make me foreget writeing to you,or even knowing of you!i manged to send them packing becuse mama had left out a crow bar from when she had to undo a that i went down the drive way to the mail box and saw a packge of baked cookies from granma,sadly enough i ploped one right into my mouth with out even thinking and the world begain to spin and i fell and cracked open my skull on the pavement. when i woke i was in the childerns clinc(i am ten and a half)when i came to however,i had no memory of you or the letters until my mama brought me things from hom to make me happy,one object was my computer and a ipad,the ipad was what made me reamber,you see i snuck into a meeting and took it when i heared people calling each other my nations names,and once i looked in it i found things nations and there codes and a lot of porn(it was frances ipad)i was so mad and ashmaed of my self for leting my self be tricked into thinking they would leave me alone,so i sold the pictures on the ipad to differnt people,but that night i had an odd dream ivan,it was that you were in my room petting my hair and telling me everything would be you come and see me?

love

savannah

PS i put the twenty milloin i made off the porn in the letter i hope it helps you!i kept a little bit for m self a an emergancy i hope you dont mind?

xx

Dearest Savannah,

Alfred and Arthur must really dislike me if they would go through such extreme measures to ensure that you do not remain in contact with me. Sometimes I wonder how those twats are even Nations…

I do hope you're okay Savannah, but I want you to know, in this day and age… you should not eat cookies neatly perched outside of your home.

Especially cookies in a box outside your home after you have just been attacked.

What kind of world have we come to where we cannot put faith in cookies anymore?

You got a hold of France's iPad? The nerve of that man, so damn careless, I swear. They are pads every nation has in order to identify other nations. It also beeps whenever a new nation is born, a nation have fallen, or when you get a text message; very convenient if I do say so myself.

Uhm… me? In your room… Kolkol. How silly of you.

I do not sneak into people's houses at night, especially to ten year old girls!

What do you take me for? Some kind of pedophile… rapist… creeper? Geez. ._.;;

With love,

Иван Брагинский

P.S. Порнографии? I do not recall any… thing like that. I appreciate the money but… where did it even come from?

xx

_Translations in order: _

Иван Брагинский – _Ivan Braginski_

Порнографии – _Pornography _

_Dude.. I seriously have no idea what you're talking about when you say "porn." xD_

_I mean, I know what it is, but, I mean, whut? LOL._

_Anyway, you are the first person to reach six replies! Congrats, yo! :D_

_~PimpinSushi _


	85. From Iowa

((~from 94 Bottles of Snapple))

((First of all, oh my gosh you are my hero, this story/pen pal thing/whatever you wanna call it, is sooooo freaking hilarious! And... No one ever has an Iowa OC... So! Please include my letter! And keep up the good work! :D ))

Dear Mr. Russia,

I guess we haven't really met... I'm Iowa. Er... The state left of Illinois. Everyone seems to forget about me... (Just like they do Uncle Matthew... It's too bad, he's really nice...) Um! Anyway! Dad probably won't be too happy that I'm writing you a letter (Mr. Tony is covering for me, right now), or at least not insulting you in it, but... I guess I'm not really sure how to anyway, even if I did want to be mean. Which I don't! I mean... Uncle Matthew seems to like you well enough.

In any case... Um... I really like to learn; all the other states use my test in their school system, you know. Even though they think all I know how to do is grow corn. Don't tell them I said so, but I think I'm probably the smartest of them, even if my real Papa is that jerk, France. Napoleon convinced him to put me up for adoption... But it's ok, I like Dad better.

Oh no I'm rambling! Er... Well, I just thought... I'm not very old; that is to say, not as old as Dad or you. So... I thought, I'd really like to learn some of your history! And... And maybe a little bit of Russian too, if you would teach me...? I-I mean you don't have to if that seems too forward! It's just... Dad knows so many languages now, but he refuses to teach me even a little bit of Russian, and I'd really like to learn!

Um... I also heard that you've been sending letters to my siblings. Maybe you could remind them... Not to forget me, maybe? Especially Texas... She's one of my favorite siblings, and I really look up to her (she was actually her own country for a while, isn't that amazing?) so... Also, please ask Alaska to stop breathing down my neck (I know she's just trying to get away from the reporters so they don't bother her about that Ms. Palin woman, but it's beginning to make me nervous). Um... I guess that's a little silly, asking you for help in fixing my family problems... I-in any case... Please try not to fight with Dad. He's really not all that bad, even if he's a little dense, and we states (or at least me... Poor Dad) love him very much. And... Dad, he... He's had to take so much responsiblity so young, so please forgive him for being so childish. He really can't help it.

Sincerely,

Johanna Jones, Iowa

PS: Dad said that you'd try to kidnap me or something, but you wouldn't really do that, right? Even if I do grow sunflowers? A-anyway, you probably can't visit or anything. I'm right in the middle of the country, so there's no way you could get to my house without Dad finding out. But... Well, he's got a bad cold right now; he might send me to the next World Meeting in his place. If he does, I'd like to meet you, and also, could you make Papa France leave me alone? I hate it when he tries to still call me Jean. My name is Johanna now, darn it!

PPS: Sorry if I'm bothering you... Um... And if I ramble too much! It just all spills out when I actually have a chance for someone to recognize me!

xx

Dear Iowa,

Привет dear! How are you? It is nice to meet you, and I am sorry to say that I did not exactly notice you either. Perhaps it is because you are in the shadow of your father. I know a couple of ways you can be noticed, though.

Do not be afraid of Alfred, if he finds out you have been writing these letters what is he going to do? Punish you?

Now wait a second, isn't the USA the "Home of the Free"? He is being a hypocrite if he bans you from communicating with me, so do not be afraid of being caught. But I suppose Alfred is just being a "good father." I would not allow some people to communicate with someone like me either. But I have changed, I swear, I am a lot nicer now!

Iowa, it is to be expected that you like Alfred more than Francis… I mean, be serious, you do not really have much of a choice there.

Learn Russian History? Ha, you are such a sweet, innocent girl are you sure that is wise? Even the simplest of oafs know that my history is a scarring one, sometimes I do not like to even talk about it. I do not want to taint your sanity, Iowa. ((You made me feel like an old man. D: ))

Shame Alfred does not take advantage of his knowledge about Russian; I do not like him and I speak English! What an asshole.

However, I can teach you my beautiful language. Who better to teach you Russian than Russia themselves, да? ((Oh, and "да" means "yes."))

Now, whenever I ask you "Станьте одним со мной"

You say, "да".

Easy enough, right? See? Isn't Russian grand?

Ahh, I have indeed been communicating with your brothers and sisters. Sisters mainly. I will try to remind them next time I send them a letter; but Iowa, do you think that maybe you are unnoticed for a reason? Maybe if you had a… quirk that stood out more it would make you much more noticeable. I have this advice to An… An..do…dorra? Andorra, right.

Alfred can be dense. We all know that for a fact, but he loves his States so you do not have to worry.

Sincerely Yours,

Иван Брагинский

P.S. I would never do such a thing! People sometimes exaggerate about me and it makes me sad. T.T Do not worry, I know my way around Alfred's home. ((Sneaking around the US kept me busy during the Cold War…)) and I know how to get in there without your father finding out. Francis is dense and will not be aware either. See you in a week. :D

P.P.S. You are not rambling dear, you are just… talkative.

xx

_Translations in order:_

Привет – _Hello_

Да – _Yes_

Станьте одним со мной – _Become one with me _

Иван Брагинский – _Ivan Braginski_

_September 4__th__._

_You sent this to me, September 4__th__ and I am JUST replying to it…_

_Dude, thank you for reminding me to check my PM's… I lose track of those things sometimes. _

_You must think I'm such an asshole! I'm so sorry dude, I really am! DDDD:_

_FFFFFF._

_I'm gonna go bury myself in a hole and listen to my iPod._

_Sorry again! and again, and again. AND AGAIN._

_~PimpinSushi _


	86. From Finland IV

Hyvää Päivä. :)

Thank you very much...woah, woah, woah, you really did abuse them? 0.o I mean, I'm glad that you're different now, but if anybody hurt Edward, I would go apeshit crazy!

Your question with Eduard...oh God, maybe. I definitely love him in a friendly way, if that makes sense. He really is my dearest friend. :) Of course, you're a very dear friend of mine, as well. :D

Ah, the Alands...I really need to go kill Alfred. Berwald and I took Aland in when we lived in the same house and raised him, just as we raise Peter now. Of course, Aland is a lot closer to Berwald than me...sort of sad, he never really liked me.

It was pretty horrifying when I watched Feliks model dresses for Berwald. He made me stay and watch, as well. I wanted to gauge out my eyes a la Oedipus Rex. Yuck!

You dated Alfred? My condolences. That must have been interesting, to say the least.

Damn straight I'm myzhestvennity!

Where else would I get my Molotovs? I suppose I could start taking your vodka. ;D Tee hee...

Ivan...*sighs*... only you would be brave enough to call a Finnish man beautiful.

A nine to one death ratio in the Winter War is much more than hurting a fly, Ivan. :D/:'( I don't know whether to gloat or apologize right now.

A voyeuristic candle on his brother? Dear God, I knew Ice was messed up! 0_o And thank you! You were awfully powerful in your imperial days. Were you ever attracted to any of the Czars?

Ivan, we were technically a union once, you know. 0_o I'm surprised I haven't weirded you out enough during that century. You couldn't possibly mean that, do you? Besides, you know I'd be the seme! ;D

Ooh, you have a date with Matthew? ;D Good luck! Matt and I play hockey together, and he's a great guy.

Your schedule is way packed! Don't worry if you can't come over- I totally understand with all that

you have on your plate.

I think I just died laughing when I read Eli's letter. Oh my lord, you two! xD Okay, I suppose I could have her over another time. After all, she is a bit fond of taking pictures of me and Eduard while we sleep...0_o

Hope to hear from you soon!

By the way, I just bought a book the other day to refresh my Russkiy skills. It's called "Dirty Russian." ;D

U tebya okhuyennya figura! ;D

:), Tino V.

((Omg, their baby would be GINORMOUS! And an amazing hockey player. xD

Yeah, someone posted saying that they reported my story to the site. Jerkface. xD I got kinda freaked out, so I deleted it.

Thank you so much! I really appreciate that, haha. :DD And don't worry- I know you'll find a way to keep up. :)

-PianoIsLove))

xx

Dear Tino,

You are very welcome.

…

Did things just get a big awkward in here or is it just I?

Er…

I am not the only one that has raped or abused any others! ((Francis, Antonio, Denmark, Hell, even Arthur…)) I know it does not excuse my actions, but I want you to know that this kind of thing is considered "normal" in the life of the nations.

-sigh- You realize that I was not in my best… sanity these past couple of decades… centuries even. Of course I did some things that I am not very proud of. .. And unfortunately, that includes abusing the Baltics. Even Eduard.

It is not what you wanted to hear, but it is indeed the truth. I am very sorry, Tino.

Eduard has never told you this? I must have been so cruel.

But please do not go "apeshit" crazy. I just mopped the floor. D:

Kolko. Answer that question again, but with a little more truth, да?

Why do you and Eduard play this game? We all know you two are "doing the deed" behind our backs. ;D Atleast, we think so. Are you? Because I mean, I know you are not a virgin Tino!

Little Aland did not like you? That is weird, who does not get along with you? You are like a perfect mother hen. Kolkolkol. Do not worry; a _manly_ mother hen. I hope Aland is well now. Will he be attending meetings soon? And you should definitely kill Alfred for spreading such rumors. ((chuckling behind letter))

О мой Бог… I swear Feliks gets weirder everytime I even… hear about him. The worst part is, Berwald is my height and size and it's like… is Feliks suicidal by trying to have sex with Berwald? The man will break him in half. Geez…

… Cute, very cute. T.T Do not threaten my водка, Tino! Continue using Lovino's Motolovs please..

Hm, I suppose your nine to one ratio is something to be proud of… at the time of the occurrence. Now you look back on it and it is kind of awkward. Do not worry; I did not take that to offense. D:

Attracted to the Czars? Ew, Tino. Ew…

They were all old and whatnot. Give me a little more credit than that in the dating apartment! D:

Anyway, I suppose my favorite was Ivan III. He was a very good imperialist and gained many lands for Mother Russia.

A "seme"? What in the name of borsch is a "seme"?

…

Tino, I just googled that term and I am utterly displeased. You do realize, you are the size of my… er, leg. And I am definitely not a person to be on bottom. Ever!

I certainly have a date with Matvey and I am very much excited! He is indeed a great guy, Да? Oh, I mean, _Oui_? I need to practice my French… or my Quebecoise, even.

Do not worry, Tino! I am never too busy to visit a great friend. I have an idea, why do we not host a party? It will help me reunite with everyone… and you and Eduard can go pick a room somewhere. The Braginski household is very… very vast. ;D

For god's sake, Elizaveta was so mean for no reason! Okay, so I ruined her economy… I helped it again, did I not? T.T

Skills? Dirty Russian?

… That sounds very perverted. Do I wish to know?

Your friend,

Иван Брагинский

xx

_Translations in order:_

О мой Бог – _Oh my god_

Водка – _Vodka_

Да – _Yes_

Oui_ - Yes ((French))_

Иван Брагинский – _Ivan Braginski _

_Their baby WOULD be huge. He would play hockey, be really tall, he'd have silver hair but a giant swirly. _

_He would be… Matvan. xDD_

_Aw, you poor thing. I was reported too apparently. Was it by Unnaturalketchuptaco? If it was, I actually talked to that person and they're not as much of a "jerkface" as people think. Lol_

_Hooray! You're welcome dearie, now stop reading this letter and update Finland's Letters to the World. Now or I'll be shanking some people. _

_Much love to you! :D_

_~PimpinSushi _


	87. Author's Note III

Hurhur. Hey peeps!

So uhm, I just wanted to say that competition season is over and I have a bit more time on my hands now. Meaning, yes, Ivan will totes be answering your letters a lot more frequent now.

Second, I updated some things on my profile… they're very miniscule, but yeah, I thought I just may throw that in there. ((Don't know why, I personally hate reading people's long ass profiles. xD))

Third:

I am so sorry.

I was in such bitch mode in Chapter 63, about disabling Anonymous Reviews and whatnot… and my friend told me something pretty important; basically, she said I was being a bit biased and limiting letters to only people with accounts. Meaning, I'm losing almost half of the amount of letters I would receive in the first place.

She herself did not have an account on here, but wanted to send me a letter, so I disabled the anonymous filter for like, five seconds so she could send one. In that miniscule time span, I received another anonymous letter from a character I've been dying to hear from. o_o

And now I realized how many people actually wanna send letters but can't because I was being a j-j-j-jack ass.

And alas, my good friends, Anonymous Reviews are back on!

If you have an anonymous review, but have a question or something… I'll kindly display my email on my profile.

Now, onto other things, I'm not one for self promotion… but check out the **EHSGSA** account on YouTube, it was established for the Gay-Straight Alliance at my school and we post videos weekly. :)

As well as **APHFTW, **my cosplay group's YouTube account. The channel is pretty empty, but we'll start uploading things soon!

Anyway, that's all I got, tomorrow is a busy day for me so I need to head off to bed.

I'm really sorry for before guys, I really am.

I love you all, forgive me, da?

~PimpinSushi


	88. From New York

((~from ))

Привет, как ты сегодня?

New York here. I stumbled across this as i was waiting for a bid to go through on a Diane Arbus piece at a photography auction [have you seen any of her work? Its really great, check it out.], and i figured i'd send a letter in since i'm the state with the largest Russian population. So how ya been, друг? Seen anything from New York lately? Its been awfully hot this past summer here in America; I have to say i was getting real jealous of yous about mid-July.

Its been a long time since we talked, what with the 50s and Dad getting all paranoid. Even today if i mention something about Cali buying an awful lot of red clothing, he gets jumpy. He needs to take a chill pill.

Anyway, I was why, since we are friends and all, WOULD YOU OFFER NUCLEAR WEAPONS TO THE MIDDLE EAST! YOU TRYIN' TA KILL ME?

Why would you be so жестокий? You saw what those crazy ублюдки did to me?

-N. York

[not in letter- here are the translations to my russian!

Привет, как ты сегодня? Hello, how are you today?

жестокий cruel

ублюдки bastards

друг friend

xx

Dear New York,

Привет to you! I am fine, you? ((It is nice to see you using beautiful Russian in a letter.))

Really? What is my universal letter doing in an auction house? Hmm, no doubt your father probably crumpled it up and threw it away. -_- And in New York, you can throw something away and it lasts forever. Kolkolkol. I do enjoy Diane Arbus, she is the "photographer of freaks," as she has stated. But if you want something new and worth millions, you should check out Ivan Aivazovsky, not only is he an amazing surrealist, but he has my great name, да?

You have the largest Russian population? It is splendid to hear that I am inside you, and Het, I did not mean to make that sound highly suggestive. D:

I have not visited New York any time recently; I have not had much time for vacation in general. But Alfred has been trying to get me to visit Time Square for ages now and I think I may take him upon that offer. I hear it looks amazing at night.

Oh, really? Well you know, global warming and all of that. Perhaps you should just become one with me, and then you will never have to face hot weather again.

When will you all learn that my days of Communism are over? We realized that we had to adapt to a Democratic government after the whole "Red Scare" thing, decades ago! Sometimes Alfred pisses me off in that category. But I would like to renew relations with you nonetheless; how IS California? Is she still under stress about Prop 8?

Что? I would not sell my weapons to the –stans! Geez, New York… I thought we were bonding. If you do not have trust in me, I do not see how we can be friends. I saw what they did to your Twin Towers, truly, I did. I would not let them do that to you again… ((Are the towers your legs?))

Sincerely Yours,

Иван Брагинский

xx

_Translations in order: _

Привет – _Hello_

_Diane Arbus - ((1923-1971))American born photographer, she's known for photographing the "freaks" of America. The midgets, circus performers, nudists, druggies, transvestites, etc. _

Ivan Aivazovsky – ((1817-1900)) _Russian artist, known for surrealism and scenery._

Да – _Yes_

Что – _What?_

_I would imagine New York would be x10 more paranoid than Alfred after 9/11. Poor kid._

_Btw, is New York a dude or a chick? _

_Anyway, peace out._

_~PimpinSushi _


	89. From Ireland II

((~from Niki-the-awesome))

Dear Ivan,  
To begin with, yes, I did have the worst frecken hangover of my life. Sorry about that (It's Ireland, if you haven't guessed already). I haven't any idea what the hell I wrote to you, but I hope it wasn't incredibly offensive (though it probably was). I'm just surprised that you were able to respond! Hell! Most people can't understand me when I speak to them drunk, never-the-less write them a god damn letter!  
So…yah. Sorry about that. Hope it's all good between us.  
And…jesus, what the hell did I say about England and Georgie? Feck, I can't remember at all. When I woke up I found a map with some random scribbles on it (And some dirty sketches) so maybe…I don't know. But any day is a good day to be angry at England (Just look at him. There's your reason). Stuck up little prick. He took my ipod you know! I don't even know WHY! So naturally I decked him and then….  
You know, I'm not that violent of a person Ivan. People always stereotype me as some drunken barbarian, but it's only when people piss me off, that's when I get aggressive! You understand, don't you? And yah, I would punch a woman, but the thing about the lasses here is that they tend to deck yah back. Just last night I….never mind.  
We should go drinking some time. Any man who can make alcohol from potatoes is a friend of mine! And you don't have to worry about getting drunk and raping me, I can hold my own (I'll just slap yah around a bit. Or distract you with a weaker target, whichever is more 'convenient'((as Britain would say))  
So yah, hope all is well. Don't freeze up there (as I assume it is getting really frecken cold)

-Ireland

p.s. I heard through the grape vine you've got cher eyes on America's twin. Good luck. Hope yah get laid.  
p.p.s You wouldn't happen to know what your sister is doing this Saturday, would you (the happy one, not the….other one)

xx

Dear Ireland,

I would figure you had "the worst frecken hangover of your life" because your letter was very… violent. Almost like you wanted to punch me with your words. Did you eat the bread and drink water? If you did not vomit, that pretty much tells you that you are going to feel like crap the next couple of days. I send my regards to your… head.

Your writing was surprisingly okay, to say the least. Except some… odd parts I would rather not go into detail with… but I must ask, did you really have sex with Scotland? He is your brother, Ireland. Ewww. D:

You pretty much said how you wanted to release all of your Irish anger on England. Nothing new under the sun, drunken rants and whatnot.

Kolkolkol… your iPod? I am sorry to hear about your… loss. Shouldn't you just buy a new one and let bygones be bygones. It does not seem productive for you to hold a grudge over such a thing, because eventually, grudges lead to vio- and you punched him.

Great. Look Ireland, I am not one for stereotypes, but you do get rather aggressive when you are drunk. ((I have not been to a bar with you, and frankly, I am scared to do so.)) England once told me about how you beat the guy next to you for having a "funny tie." Does that even _sound_ logical to you?

I agree that if you get pushed, it is okay and fair to push back; but sometimes – and now you punch women.

Is you punching everyone your way of… coping for something?

Мы должны идти питьевой? I… well, ah hell. Whatever, I have nothing to lose, we should go drinking!

I do not become a rapist when I am drunk! ((Who told you such nonsense?)) I only molest people… just slightly. If I molest you, it is better that you do not put up a fight because then I will just get angry. And I am not afraid to punch an Irishman.

It is indeed a tad cold. Maybe I should visit the vast grasslands of Ireland. :D

Yours Truly,

Иван Брагинский

P.S. America's twin… Oh, you mean little Matvey? Hm, да, indeed I do have a crush on him. It may even be developing into something else; this funny feeling, I do not like it.

P.P.S. You misread my intentions! I wish to date Matvey, I know he is a virgin and I… uhm… whatever, I hope I get laid to.

xx

_Translations in order:_

Мы должны идти питьевой – _We should go drinking_

Иван Брагинский – _Ivan Braginski_

Да – _Yes _

_Feck. I love that word so much, Lol._

_Your letters never seize to amuse me; Drunk!Ireland and Drunk!Russia. Godyes. _

_So like, does Ireland have a real name? _

_I myself imagined it to be "Daniel Kirkland" because of the song "O Danny Boy". Which is too Irish for its own good. _

_Thanks for the letter! :D _

_~PimpinSushi_


	90. From Canada VI

((~from Hoshiko13))

Dear Ivan,

It's Matthew.

Of course you can come over! Why not? That sounds like a good idea.

Uhh. . . Because I wrote that before I read that you asked me on a date and for some reason I write reply letters as I read the ones I get. It's a habit.

Yes. . . is there a problem with that? Why wouldn't I?

That's only Alfred! I never said that!

We can go somewhere you pick, if you want. I open to suggestions.

That's all for this letter, I gotta go. Someone's at the door.

Matthew.

. . .

Hello Ivan. This is Kumajiro. Whats-his-face's polar bear.

I only have two things to say.

1. Do anything to hurt my owner, and you will have the wrath of a polar bear on you.

2. Thank you for paying attention to maple boy. He needed that.

. . .

I need to go save Maple boy from a scary lady in a blue dress now. Goodbye.

Kumajiro

xx

Dear Matvey,

Of course I know it is you. The envelope clearly states "From Canada." Kolkol.

I can come over? Splendid, to hear! I shall book the next flight to Canada; I hope my presence does not bother you too much. I promise I will be not much of a hassle. I do my own dishes and laundry! ((I do not trust anyone with my underwear.))

Hm, well, forgive me, but I thought you would reject my offer because of who you hang around with, Matvey. Not France, England, or America would approve of us dating. Sad part is I do not blame them for my past is not something that is exactly overlookable. I have done some things that turn heads, and turn faces away. I was afraid you would be one of those people that turn away; and I would not blame you, even I am ashamed of the things I have done.

Come now Matvey, you do not need to lie to me. Your hatred towards communism was not as bad as Alfred's, but you certainly assisted him during the "Red Scare." Lucky for you though, I understood your predicament to the core. Alfred was paranoid out of his mind and could not think straight; had you even disagreed with him, he would assume you to be the enemy as well. He would nuke your people into oblivion without a second thought. So you took his side, in order to keep your people safe. Do not worry, I understand.

I remember моя сестра tried to get me to stop spying on Alfred one day. I grew angry and called her a "capitalist", then I threatened to bomb the Ukraine. Do you see what paranoia does to you? It is not a pretty sight.

Anything? How about dinner and a movie, my treat! :D

Ahh, I understand you are a busy man, Matvey. I will converse with you later as well; Russia to Canada is like…four, hours from now.

…

Kumajirou? The bear?

Why are you writing to me? Hold on a second, you can write?

-ahem- Well… Привет, Kumajirou!

1) I certainly will attempt not to hurt Matvey. And I am not afraid to your "wrath of a polar bear."

2) нет проблем, I suppose. How could I not? He is so adora-

… A lady in a blue dress? A _scary_ lady in a blue dress?

О мой Бог… I will be there soon, Matvey! I will save you! D:

xx

_Translations in order: _

моя сестра – _Sister_

Привет – _Hello_

нет проблем – _No problem_

О мой Бог – _Oh my god _

_-narrator voice-_

_As Ivan books a flight to Montreal, he realized he only has his scarf, his clean underwear, the vigor in his boots, and a can of whoop ass by his side._

_How will he save Matt? Who is the scary woman in the blue dress? Why the hell does Kumajirou know how to write?_

_Tune in to the next, Ivan's Letters to the World! _

_~PimpinSushi _


	91. Sessions with Ivan and Francis I

((~from StaraLaura))

Salut, Ivan, comment ça va?

xx

Privyet France,

Salut? I thought we were being formal here.

I will let that one slide, for now, da?

ça va bien, merci, et toi? Since we are you know, not being so formal anymore.

xx

Oui, I thought we were sort of friends, Ivan. I mean, in WWII, we DID have an alliance after all. Besides, you say "Priyvet" to me anyway and that is informal I believe.

... F-For n-now...?

Why do you say da, it is so ugly. Say oui or non, oui?

Ça va comme ci comme ca, merci beaucoup.

xx

Dear France,

Friends? Hmm, how do you say it in your language? Un Copain? Then I suppose... nous sommes copains? Whatever, your language confuses me. Everything has to be femenine, or masculine. You're not an "in between" kind of guy, are you? Our alliance was for... resources... I believe.

I would like to be your friend Francis, I really would, but after you and Napolean attempted to invade Moscow... it is hard to trust you, Мне очень жаль.

Да, for now. Kolkolkol.

I will have you know that my Russian is beautiful! Your French is complicated for no reason! D:

Comme ci Comme ca? Porqoi est-que non est tres bien? Did Англия, excuse me, Angleterre reject you for the 3489385th time?

xx

Oui, un copain. That means best friends. I do not think we are best friends so... Tu es mon ami. My language is beautiful and simple. I don't have about thirty letters in my alphabet so , why does no one trust me anymore? Mais oui, you would like to be my friend. Who wouldn't? ;DUm... kolkolkol? C'est trés mal, Ivan, and it scares me. D8Le Russie, YOU are the complicated , I actually married him this last weekend. Did I not invite you to the wedding? Oh well. :D

xx

_Russian Translations:_

_Privyet - Hello_

_Мне очень жаль - I am sorry_

_Да - Yes_

_Англия - England _

_French Translations:_

_Salut - Hi. ((Informal, American equivalent to "hey guuuurl._

_comment ça va - How are you? ((Informal, American equivalent to "whats up.)) _

_ça va bien, merci, et toi? - I am good, thank you, and you?_

_Ça va comme ci comme ca, merci beaucoup. - I am okay, thank you very much._

_Porqoi est-que non est tres bien? - Why is it not very good? _

_Copain - close ((male)) friend._

_nous sommes copains - We are close friends friends. _

_So as you know, StaraLaura is the genius behind "Letters of L'amour." Same thing as this, except France answers yours letters. It really is interesting, I definitely recommend you send a letter! _

_At any rate, StaraLaura and I have been messaging each other and somehow… it turned into us roleplaying as France and Russia. ITS AMAZING. _

_And I will be posting all of them in pieces. Enjoy. ;3_

_~PimpinSushi+StaraLaura _


	92. From Köln III

Dear Ivan,holy shit you were right...The shed looks as if a tornado went trough it. lucky me, it was on Bavarias teritory. But psssst! He thinks that it was Prussia... ;) About the ketchup... don't you guys think,. that this is goning a bit too far? I mean you eat the tomatoes anyway... It doesn't matter if you eat them as gazpacho, kletchup or chopped. I can understand the sunflower issue and I promise to not talk abuit it with shouldn't think, that this is a vendetta... look at it from another side. Maybe it is fair because you have the bigest gas sourses, a hery old and fascinating culure and many beautiful churches...and the others have about culture... you know the most known vodka in Germany is Gorbatschow. And Michail Gorbatschow (one of your bosses in the sowietunion) forbit alcohol bach then... kind of confusing...I woud like to go drinking with you, too. :DI hope I could cheer you up a ,Köln

.xx

Dear Köln,

Да, aren't I always right? But keep your distance from Belarus… for the sake of your… virginity! ((You ARE a virgin, correct?))

Ah, Belarus is in Bavaria, is she? That is good to here, I hope she stays there. And if she does not, she will seek out Prussia! Goodness me, this is wonderful news.

Het, it is that extreme… I refuse to eat a dead sunflower. And you underestimate Antonio's love for tomatoes. He eats them, but it makes him sad to see it unnaturally mashed up and put into a bottle.

I suppose that is one way to look at it… but I would give up all of my rubles to have some sunflowers. T.T

Ahh, Germany just has no originality and named it after my Tsar.

Amazing, I will set it up in a few days… currently, I am in Canada!

The amazing,

Иван Брагинский

.xx

_Translations in order:_

Да - _Yes_

Het - _No_

Иван Брагинский - _Ivan Braginski_

_Ah Prussia, you certainly know how to get Ivan's skin. _

_And uhm… that vodka thing is kind of weird._

_~PimpinSushi_


	93. From Nebraska IV

((~from BunnyrabbitofDOOM))

Dear Ivan,Yay! Alfred let me go! Of course I did ask when he wasn't really listening, but he still said yes! So it counts! I'll see you soon!I won't copy you, and I'm not old enough for contacts. I like my eyes though. My sister said they look like Germany's eyes. She said something about "large amounts of Germans in Nebraska" or something.I love a lot of colors, it's so hard to choose sometimes. They're all so pretty!I can't wait until we go shopping!-Mini-Nebraskaout o letterI find it funny that Russia has found a friend, and that the friend is physically five 8D

.xx

Dear Nebraska but no so much Nebraska,

Of course he would let you go if he was not listening. That is saddening, but nice to know at the same time! He was probably going on about how Halo Reach came out… and uhm, please forgive me… something came up very last minute and I am now in Canada. D:

Ah, good then. It is good to have your own style anyway. Blue eyes are a very dominant trait in all of you states; except for Idaho… who got Arthur's green ones. Nebraksa does have a rather large German demographic… do you think Germany is secretly taking refuge in there to open… nudy bars? O_o Don't let him overtake your land with bondage and… dear god, I forget, you're five… uhm, forget everything I just said, Да?

Colors are pretty, that is why I am a homosexual.

See you soon, dear!

Иван Брагинский

.xx

_Translations in order:_

Иван Брагинский - _Ivan Braginski_

_Da - yes. Whatever. You all know that._

_Pfft. Ivan and a five year old alone? What could possibly happen. _

_Oh, and if you don't understand the "Colors are pretty, homosexual" thing._

_Rainbows._

_Ivan loves Rainbows._

_~PimpinSushi_


	94. From Haiti VI

((~from Kiki4ever))

Dear Russia,My extensive list of diseases I have experienced is way too long. Let's just say my economy is not in the best of shape and it has permenantly reduced me to weezing and inhaling. Until I miracoulously improve my economy, I'm stuck like this :(. I'm up at four in the morning because...well I don't know :/ can't sleep, too you would? Great! I'll send you...Rum! You enjoy alcohol besides Vodka correct? You better have!I am...not sure who else is running...O.O I should try to find out. Their all the same, people who just want the money not help the people. It's depressing but he never had the education for it. Sigh...hopefully my future boss will actually do somethin for the poor. This topic is depressing ._.And? Allies are competition. Damn his fucking charisma! I must do something to catch his attention! Asking him for help wounds my pride! But...wait...I just noticed I confessed my feelings for America to you...D8 THAT MEANS THE REST OF THE WORLD KNOWS. Ah well, from what Jamaica told me "dey ole world already knows, mon!" At least I think that's what he said. His accent is very hard to understand, dont you agree?Meh, I have more important shit to work out other than my my love life. Like elections, Mon Dieu -_- what a way to spell murder!My winter attire isnt that bad! I just have to layer...alot...doesnt help that I'm cold blooded OTLOn the subject on you and that...dude (China?) I heard you and him are better friends! Have you ever been more than that? (AN: sorry avid RoChu shipper, RusCan is growing on me though now) Me and Domi are startin to get along better but he's still an ass -_- (AN: UST *shot XD). I hate him and his cute self (WAIT MY HEART IS FOR ALFRED...oh god that is worse!).Currently Confused, The Nation of Haiti-S..S: Nahhh, I know fencing and thats good enough for nowP.S.S: Ahhh, okay, I'll stop by then :)P.S.S.S: My puppy dog eyes and tsundere cuteness will win over everybody :P and my mountainous regions have yet to fail me ;)Also, I guess I should say that I've never thought of a person like you to have such problems. I WILL STILL CALL U CREEPY XD

.xx

Dear Haiti,

It is sad to hear that you are so sick. I remember I went through a period like that during WWII, I had fevers and cramps and was very irritable… It sounds like I was on my period.

As far as improving your economy goes, have you ever tried focusing on one industry and then working your way up from there? First, I suggest you print a little more money, hand it out, and then tell people to get some jobs. Jobs in mining, manufacturing, doctoring, and the fishing industry seem to be in very high demand these days. Especially in the mathematics department. You are good at math, aren't you?

Ehh, I do not enjoy rum and beer as much as I enjoy vodka… but I still appreciate it!

Uhm, that is certainly something you should attempt to find out, it is very важно. Perhaps it is time… to ask Francis for help? I mean, he is your former colony after all…

Ask Alfred for help, Haiti; put your pride away and help your people. Het, do not worry, I know how to keep a secret. And I will definitely not tell anybody that you are тайно влюблен Альфред -cough-cough- Jamaica is really hard to understand sometimes… and so is his reggae music…

In the event that you still chase Alfred, I know some pick up lines you can use! I used this one on Florida when we were beginning to know each other, such as "I must be a snowflake, because I am falling for you." But then I realized that it does not snow in Florida. So then, I tried "Let's go behind that rock, and get a little bolder." I even added a charismatic wink in there! But uhm… needless to say, they did not work… she walked away. Maybe it is best you do not go after Alfred romantically… seeing as how, if I cannot offer you amazing dating advice then there is no hope.

Yao and I are indeed friends, like Alfred, I have been with him intimately. I don't think there is anything else I can tell you, we have just been friends as of recent. Now now Haiti, it is "Domi and I." At any rate, you mean Dominican Republic? Why not ask him for help? Or even, why not… date, you two seem to be fond of each other. ((All of that "hate-on-the-surface" teenage romance shit is annoying, just have sex already.))

The only reason you are confused is because you are a teenage girl with emotions and feelings and whatnot… but I guarantee that if you just read my novel, "How to Live Life by Ivan Braginski" all of your questions will be answered.

Yours Truly,

Иван Брагинский

P.S. I suppose… but you know who to contact if you ever want to start a bar fight.

P.S.S. Mountanous regions… oh, Haiti, you dirty girl! Well… I have a huge… landmark.

I do have many problems despite what you may think, surprisingly, rape is one of the happiest moments of my entire life. That speaks for itself, dear.

.xx

_Translations in order:_

Важно - _Important_

Het - _No_

тайно влюблен Альфред - _In Love with Alfred_

Иван Брагинский - _Ivan Braginski_

"_How to Live Life by Ivan Braginski" _

_Greatest. Book. Ever. _

_It has a picture of him on the cover flashing a thumbs up and a charismatic smile. _

_Chapter one covers molesting children. _

_Chapter two, becoming one with him._

_I suggest you all go out and buy a copy._

_~PimpinSushi_


	95. From Belarus III

((~from cloudysunnyskies))

BROTHER. MARRY ME. And what is with all this talk of wanting me to leave you? I /never/ want to leave you, big brother!-Belarus-(I'm sorry if there's another Belarus! I didn't check...eh heh heh.)

.xx

Dear Belarus,

Het.

Uhm… I would prefer if you… you know what, I have been through this process with you.

I do not love you, Natalia! Go away!

And why do you keep sending letters from different addresses? Where are you? It is driving me insane. Please leave me alone… you scare me. AND STAY AWAY FROM MATVEY!

I know you are near him and do not dare lay a hand on him.

Your brother.

Иван Брагинский

.xx

_Translations in order:_

Het - _No_

Иван Брагинский - _Ivan Braginski_

_Er… well… there were two other Belarus's, however, none of those other ones seem to be sending letters. So I suppose I don't mind… but please do check, eh?_

_That goes for everybody!_

_Also, you may be confused, buuuut, last letter I got from Canada, he was being harassed by Belarus. So you stay away from him! D:_

_~PimpinSushi_


	96. From Puerto Rico I

((~from ))

Hola Ivan:Seriouly I think you're cute and you're not creppy they just don't understand, but I will ask you a big favor...Ivan, next time you come to visit me...make sure you have taken driving lessons...and remember not to drink Vodka while driving...if you don't remember(which I think not) you killed a couple that were walking on the sidewalk...becuase of your driving...aside from that take care!Puerto Rico

.xx

Dear Puerto Rico,

Спасибо for all of the amazing complements! I do not see why people find me to be "creepy" either! Sometimes I think they are secretly jealous of my scarf.

Oh… I cannot drink vodka while driving? That is not okay? But I am so self-conscious of my driving I drink while doing so to drown out all of the negative things people say about it. "Put on a seatbelt!" "Put on the turn signals!" "Watch out for that cat!", I am so tired of hearing it. I do not remember running over people, if I did, then I would have a hell of a lot of lawsuits in my mailbox.

… Well, I do indeed have some, but they are harassment lawsuits and nothing more.

You take care, Puerto Rico!

Иван Брагинский

.xx

_Translations in order:_

Спасибо - _Thank you_

Иван Брагинский - _Ivan Braginski_

_Lol… Ivan as a bad driver. I wouldn't be surprised. I'm a really bad driver too…_

_One time, I crashed a golf kart into a statue… a statue._

_I blamed someone else. _

_They still don't know I did! -rubs hands together in an evil fashion-_

_Anyway, thanks for the letter!_

_~PimpinSushi_


	97. From Florida I

((~from MiamiChick94))

Dear Ivan, Hello, it's me, Florida! I hear you like warm places, right? Well, would you like to come over to my beaches down south? I think you'll really like it. Sincerely,Rosa Jones aka Florida((Sorry if there was another Florida)). Florida

.xx

Dear Rosa,

Привет, как дела? I adore warm places, as you know, it is very cold in Russia and we do not get much sun… that is why we are so pale and our nipples are very pink. I would love to visit Florida, after I am done with my trip here in Canada…

Спасибо for the invitation!

Sincerely Yours,

Иван Брагинский

.xx

_Translations in order:_

Привет, как дела - _Hello, how are you?_

Спасибо - _Thank you_

Иван Брагинский - _Ivan Braginski _

_Nope, there wasn't another Florida. Looks like you just dropped by at the right time! :D_

_~PimpinSushi_


	98. From Sealand I

((~from Zenigami))

_I want to learn русский! Geh, but my school doesn't offer it so I sidled with Japanese instead... One of these days~ *determination* Eh~ I really wanted to do Iceland but I've decided on Sealand instead. Okay, here I go!_Dear Mr. Russia (England said your name was Russian Slimeball but Latvia told me I should say otherwise so, yeah.)I really am a country but no one acknowledges me! Everyone knows who you are. Can you tell me how to get everyone to know who I am? Please? I'll give you a 7£ discount on becoming an official noble of Sealand!From: Sealand_I seriously have no talent when it comes to writing letters... sorry..._

.xx

Dear Peter,

Well hello there, маленький мальчик! You can tell England to stick a toothpick in his big toe and kick a wall. I have no time for his ragged, immature insults. And it was wise of you to listen to Latvia, Да?

Hmm.. You want everyone to acknowledge you, eh? Well, I would suggest growing in the next… ten seconds. But you have not gone through puberty yet, (( or so I assume.)) Perhaps you should be very promiscuous! If you hold up a sign that says you will do many favors for others, people will definitely take notice. And slowly, they will become one with you. That is all the advice I have to offer, and do not worry, I do not need a discount.

Yours truly,

Иван Брагинский

_Translations in order:_

маленький мальчик - _Little boy_

Иван Брагинский - _Ivan Braginski_

_Never ever ask ivan for advice… EVER._

_Promiscuous Sealand? Ohh… god, what have I done. _

_Learning Russian WOULD be cool, I'm studying it on my own right now. With a little help from a Cyrillic keyboard and an online translator. Iceland or Sealand, whatever, your letter was still amusing._

_Did you know this word processor is telling me I misspelled 'Sea Land'? Even the internet doesn't acknowledge Sealand as a country. XDDD _

_Anyway, this letter wasn't a fail. Don't worry. I thank you for it! :D_

_~PimpinSushi_


	99. Sessions with Ivan and Francis II

((~from PimpinSushi and StaraLaura))

Dear France,

Ahh, I see. So, tu es mon ami... aussi?

Your language is disgustingly sugary... it gives me diabetes. T.T

Because you try and make us your friends, fuck us, and then... mark your territory. It has been a French war tactic for centuries now. You and I were amazing friends, it even got a little romantic, but then you went and invaded poor Moscow... she still has scars all over. How can I trust you after something like that, Francis? I know Napolean was influencing you, but come on...

Tres mal? Very bad? I think my adorable laugh is Tres bien! ;D Your "ohohohons" are Tres mal!

And you're a rapist. I wonder how many times you appear on those "To Catch a Predator" episodes. I'm sure Chris Hanson is sick of seeing you.

You two got married? Ewwwe! I would not want to attend anyway, you French cretin. I'm sure you were bickering even at the god damn reception. And why was I not informed, I hear from Alfred that he and Arthur have something going on... is some unfaithfulness going on here? ;D

xx

Dear Ivan,

Oui, oui, je suis votre ami.

Good because Russian makes me drown in suicidal thoughts. Why did it have to be so scary? POURQUOIIIIIIII?

I recall Russian war tactics are beheading the villagers, eating the mayors, and proceding to celebrate by drinking too many bottles of vodka.

But please tell Moscow "je regrette". I was only listening to my boss like you had done with Stalin and look what you did to poor Hungary, Prussia, Poland, Vietnam, and pretty much every other country on Earth.

My "ohohons" are a REFLEX and not a choice because it is part of French. I have never heard one Russian besides you who would "kol" at random objects.

And you are a rapist who then procedes to shoot the victim in the head. And how do you know about mon Chris?

Oui, we did. Are you jealous, le Russie? ;D

xx

Dear France,

Votre? Votre.. votre... -searches mind for the meaning- You've stumped me, Francis.

Does it really? You must be a wimp because my population is vast. Meaning they speak Russian and did NOT commit suicide. It is not scary! If it causes you to do it, why not just commit suicide. It would do us all a favor and the pregnancy rate all over the world would drop 30%.

I never did those things... I just... it was my boss, and the people themselves. I feel the pain too!

I will be sure to inform her, but I think she would want to hear that from your own mouth, da? You almost killed her, Francis. T.T

-sigh- I suppose you are right... I just... we do have to listen to our bosses, sometimes without even thinking of the other countries or people we are harming. Forgive me for being so accusing when I myself have done many things I am not proud of. I am sorry, I really am. ((I gave them all gift baskets when it was all over, atleast! D:))

Don't you bring out "The List!" Some of the things you did to Haiti, Scandanavia, England, Seychelles, Martinique, and Guinea have been simply dreadful! ((I did not know you like to use food in the bedroom, Francis. Ewwwww!))

And my "kol's" are not reflex? They are not something I do just to amuse muself and intimidate others, Francis!

...

Oh wait, da, they are.

BUT STILL! All of my bosses have "Kol'd", even Alexander had a few "kolkols" here and there.

Pfft. maybe I shoot them in the head, but atleast I do not shoot them in the head and THEN rape them. You freak of French nature.

I watch TV sometimes too, i'm not completely an old man.

Moi? Jealous of you and Arthur? Do not make me gag, Francis. If anything, it will not be any different because you two always argues LIKE a married couple, now you are a married couple that argues. Difference? I think not.

What of Alfred, then? Did he and Arthur break up? because I have a very large shoulder to cry on ;D

Oh, by the way, how was your week? I hear it is "French" week this week.

xx

C'est parceque je suis trés bien. You are too stupid- I mean not educated enough- to realize that "votre" is "your" in françias.

The pregnancy increase has nothing to do with me. It is not my fault that Paris has managed to get knocked up with every country she sees. I'm so proud of her! :D

Oui, I think we all felt the pain. You were scaring us so horribly during the Soviet years. What did Stalin do to make you do whatever he said, le Russie?

Oh, did not mean to! Mais, I already sent her so many apologies, along with every country I had invaded. Should I sorry again? Et je suis désolé à tu aussi!

Gift baskets? I gave kisses, they are so much better.

I do not know why we must listen to everything they say, since they are human, but... some of them feel like they are a part of you, non? I am sure you know about mon petite, mais belle Jeanne d'Arc? She was not a queen, but I miss her so terribly, Ivan... I mean, le russie.

... You have a liste? P-Pourquoi?

Have you ever tried it, le russie? (; I heard that you have a crush on Mathieu and I could teach you what to do in the bed with him. I have experience after all. Ohohohon!

Someone told moi they were a symbol of how evil you are. (No offense, please do not strangle me in my sleep.)

A-Amuse? Le russie, you worry me so much. And how come I have never heard your bosses kol? By the way, I found out you kol in even your sleep last night.

... Isn't it bad enough you just killed a person? Rape is so much more fun anyway. ;D

I do not blame you. I hate Arthur (Even though he trés mignon.) and you rubbing it my face that we are a married couple, is not funny!

I doubt they have broken up. Their bosses think they are just best friends (You know, "special relationship".). I do not really care, I am after someone else besides England.

French week? Oh, I hear that is what Alfred celebrates. Actually, more like his kids from the Louisana purchase celebrate, Alfred hates me. (In a loving way, non?) I do not celebrate French week, I celebrate French year! :D

xx

_Translations in order:_

tu es mon ami... aussi - _you are my friend... also._

Oui, oui, je suis votre ami. - _Yes, yes, I am your friend._

POURQUOIIIIIIII - _WHYYYYYYYY. ((Francis is such a drama queen.))_

je regrette - _I regret_

C'est parceque je suis trés bien - _It is because I am very good/well_

Et je suis désolé à tu aussi! - _And I am sorry to you, also._

trés mignon - _Very cute _

_Hurr. So much French... not one lick of Russian. France is taking over the world, I tell ya._

_anyway, hoorah. Session II! _

_Only one chapter away from Ivan's big 100. :3_

_Whatever and stuff. BYEZ._

_~PimpinSushi+StaraLaura_


	100. Ivan's Big 100! SURPRISE!

((~from Nagi Rinara))

Lieber Rußland,

It's good to see you're coming out of that shell of yours. Maybe you'll actually start to make some friends other than those shaky little Baltics and your Schwestern. Is this your plan? I don't think that even when twenty years have passed since that oppressive regime ended that people will be so willing to open up to you. Gott, even after seventy years, they still look at me with scrutiny. Especially Alfred is going to give you a hard time, you know.

I, however, would like to make amends for what I- GILBERT! *several very rude, yet oddly accurate drawings of various genitalia are doodled on the paper* I'm sorry... Prussia drew these in pen and I cannot erase them... Nor do I have anymore paper to start over. I have yet to go to the store to acquire more. Scheiße...

Now, as I was saying previously, I would like to make amends for w- Gott verdammt es... Italy's in my kitchen... and there are clothes everywhere leading from... the... bed... room... Was ist daß? WHAT WAS HE DOING IN THERE? *several random swears are written in and then scratched out*

Again, I'm sorry, but with that taken care of I would like to make amends for what I did to you with Operation Barbarossa. I feel kind of bad for kicking your sorry Communist ass when you weren't looking. I'm... sorry.

Liebe,

Ludwig Beilschmidt - Federal Republic of Germany

P.S. Gilbert won't stop pestering me about this. Give him back Königsberg so he can have his "New Prussia" and stop leeching off of me and bothering me.

xx

Dear Germany,

Forgive me for my I am not very fluent in German, however, it is very nice to hear from you. How are you, Ludwig?

I have indeed been "coming out of my shell" as you so put it; these letters are a great way of opening up. I also, as you stated, gained some friends, allies, and even a potential boyfriend! I would not call those "shaky" Baltics my friends anymore, and… I know I am not very fluent, but Het, my сестра is not my friend… This is not a plan, I promise!

I of all people know what it feels like to have your past shadow you forever. We do not blame you for the things that occurred decades ago.

Make amends? For what exactly…

Ugh. I swear your brother has the maturity of a two year old, you should see the incredibly rude letter he sent me. And… he is completely exaggerating the length of my nose! It is not THAT big… I swear, your brother has been walking on eggshells since the 50s and this is the final straw. Tell him the next time I see him, he will meet Natasha. ((My lead pipe, I recently named her! –cuddles her-))

Do you really have no more paper? Has the recession been following up with you too? Wow, this is horrible! Do you need me to send you reams of paper?

Er… Ludwig, do you think it is safe to let so many people in your house all the time? Or is it that… Italy manages to sneak in sometimes, because I heard he does that often. I bet Austria is even there also, playing compositions by Mozart who is completely "Austrian." ((Is he German or Austrian?))

Well, at least Италия is probably making pasta, да? He gave me some when we had a temporary alliance during WWII, and it tasted very delicious! Though, I kind of just told him to make it… he never really offered.

Anyway, I do accept your apology, Ludwig. I know you are a diligent man and you were just doing as you were told to. Which is very commendable, да? However, I returned said ass kicking with the Battle of Stalingrad, AND D-Day. OH! Bet Hitler did not see that one coming.

Score one for Mother Russia!

Your friend,

Иван Брагинский

P.S. First off, Gilbert mooches off of you by choice, and you give him encourage it by giving him things in the first place, once again, by choice. Het, I will not give him Kaliningrad back because he does not deserve it.

P.P.S. I thought you did not have your memories… so you really have the surname of that idiotic брат of yours. ((By the way, in Russian, brother is pronounced "brat", which is very suitable for Gilbert, да?))

xx

_Translations in order:_

Lieber Rußland – _Dear Russia_

Scheiße – _Shit_

Gott verdammt, es… – _God dammit, is…_

Was ist daß – _What is that_

Het – _No_

Сестра – _Sister_

Италия – _Italy_

Да – _Yes_

Иван Брагинский – _Ivan Braginski_

Брат – _Brother_

_Battle of Stalingrad - _major battle of World War II in which Nazi Germany and its allies fought the Soviet Union for control of the city of Stalingrad in Russia between July 1942 and 2 February 1943. The battle's outcome was disastrous for Germany, making its victory in the East impossible. ((Go Ivan!))

_D-Day - Basically, all the allies ((YES. INCLUDING CANADA.)) wiping the floor with Ludwig. _

_And there you have it, the surprise letter is Germany! Hoorah._

_Now then._

_IVAN REACHED HIS BIG 100!_

_Never did I think I would get this far…–sheds dramatic tear- _

_Thank you so much guys! _

_~PimpinSushi_


	101. From Pennsylvania I

((~from change-of-hearts))

Hi...I mean Dear Ivan,

Hi my name's Carina. I don't care what papa says! You are awesome. Actually I'm hiding from him at Feliciano's.(he's so nice and shares my love of pasta)So yeah I always get in trouble with Alfred because I talk about how cool you are and how cool your accent is. I made him real mad when i 'accidentally' said that you'd make a WAY better hero than him. I got a long lecture about how awesome he was, but it was so worth it. Hey maybe i'll visit you! I mean if that's ok.

PS you sing better too.

Love,

Pennsylvania

xx

Dear Pennsylvania,

Привет, my dear! Спасибо for acknowledging that I am more awesome than Prussia, America, Denmark combined! ((You did not exactly say that, but I know that is what you were thinking.)) You are seeking refuge at Feleciano's? Send him my regards! Pasta is indeed delicious.

If you think I am cool, I become "cooler" when you become one with me! Then you get Ivan 2.0! That is correct, right now, I am only HALF as amazing.

You challenged Alfred's "heroicness" ? Kolkolkol, I can only imagine the look on his face. You can visit! Just not anytime soon… I am currently in Канада… trying to get some of that hot Canadian tail. Wish me luck!

Иван Брагинский

P.S. Спасибo, I certainly have a voice that graces the angels. Maybe one day I will sing for you, да?

xx

_Translations in order:_

Привет – _Hello_

Спасибо – _Thank You_

Канада – _Canada_

Иван Брагинский – _Ivan Braginski_

Да – _Yes_

_I put the "Love, Pennsylvania" part so people could see who you were. No need to thank me, I, like Ivan, know that I am awesome. ;D_

_Thanks for the letter!_

_~PimpinSushi_


	102. From Fem China I

((~from GothicGal8541))

Ni hao, Ivan. This is China, but his female form.

Now I want to ask aru...

I know we're neighbors aru, but that doesn't mean you have to come over to my house anytime you like aru!

Also, please stop stalking me aru. It's getting very very creepy now aru.

Wang Yue.

xx

Dear Wang Yue,

What kind of… did England put a spell on you? Why are you a woman? I demand to know how this works and how it came about. Is there an alternate female universe? My, how… riveting…

Eh, anyway, I will not stop that… you are just to, милый, дa?

Besides, you make amazing dumplings and I can never have enough of them!

I will not refrain from that either; I do not think it is creepy, I think it is a form of flattery! You do not like it when I sneak into your bed? Aw, that makes me печальный.

You do not like making me печальный right? Now I need a hug to cheer myself up. You owe me one next time I visit you.

Sincerely Yours,

Иван Брагинский

xx

_Translations in order:_

Милый – _Cute_

Дa – _Yes_

Печальный – _Sad_

Иван Брагинский – _Ivan Braginski_

_FFFFF- Fem!China? Hurhur. How awesome! :D_

_Thanks for the letter!_

_So like, how was you guys Thanksgiving? Fantastic I hope._

_I stuffed my face with green beans and macaroni…AND MASHED POTATOES!_

_Ah, Thanksgiving is so much more satisfying when you're a vegetarian. xD_

_~PimpinSushi_


	103. From Future Ivan

((~from Potatostein))

Dear Me,

IT'S YOU FROM THE FUTURE!

WHATEVER YOU DO NOT DRINK THE COFFEE ON YOUR DESK AT THE MOMENT!

IT WILL CAUSE IRREVERSIBLE TERRIBLE EVENTS!

P.S. Just since I have this opportunity, there is an empty bottle of vodka about two feet from your desk. In about ten minutes you will trip over it. So please watch your step. :D

Looking forward to speaking to you again!

Message Back , Да?

xx

Dear… me…

If this is some kind of joke, I hope you realize that I am no idiot, да? And if you thought I was so, you are sorely mistaken. Whatever you wish to accomplish with this juvenile prank is futile, and I can assure you that it is, for a lack of better words, severely stupid and it will not work.

Now, I am in a rush and I am a very busy man, if you will excuse me, I have a world meeting I must atte-

…Uh… I seem to have.. .tripped over a bottle of vodka… that is why the paper is so crumpled.

Well, I still do not believe you! Now I..

SWEET MERCIFUL CHRIST.

I dropped the coffee all over this paper… it burned like hell.. What in the name of Russian Composer Peter Tchaikovsky is going on?

My economy.. WHAT IS HAPPENING TO MY ECONOMY?

What sort of wizardy is this? Is this Arthur? Look, I am sorry about making fun of your eyebrows, I really am! Or…

Unless… this really is "me" from the future? боже мой.. what… how? You must explain this to me! It is absolutely fascinating! DD:

MESSAGE BACK, Да!

Иван Брагинский

xx

_Translations and stuff:_

_Да__ – yes_

_боже мой__ – Oh my god_

_Don't shoot me for not updating? DD:_

_Lol. I'm in the middle of my Web Design class. Waste of a fucking class. Seriously. _

_And the dude next to me, was reading my screen, and he's like, "are you writing yourself a letter?"_

_And I'm like, "no, I'm writing a letter posing as a hot Russian man." _

_And he's like, "oh… okay…"_

_Hurhur. I'm so great. _

_~PimpinSushi _


	104. From Antarctica

((~from OmnomPoland))

Dearest Ivan,

I haven't seen you in quite some time; I haven't seen anyone in quite some time. It's lonely down here in Antarctica. It's cold and bland as ever. I never do get to see as much of the other counties as I would hope. I'm not even really considered a country. Yet here I am...

Not much has changed.

How is my sweet daughter Alaska. I have not heard from her since she was very young, but I think of her everyday. Does she miss me? Is she well? Please tell me how she is, Ivan. My only comfort is that you, my closest friend have custody over her.

She is still your state, right?

Could I please come to your homeland sometime? I love your culture. You were always a nice understanding friend when we were younger.

The hole in the ozone is annoying. As you know I have a hole in my stomach to match it and I'm sort of sensitive about that. I do not enjoy scientists monitoring it 24/7. It makes me feel self conscious and sad because people think it's creepy.

But enough of me. How are you Ivan? I have not seen you since we were small. I've asked some scientists of the outside world. They tell me your country has grown, they also tell me of some recent trading relations of Maple products with some contry named Canada.

Be sure to tell me of that. ;D

For some reason they wount tell me of Alaska, so naturally I'm quite worried about her.

Yours,

Anfisa

(AKA Antarctica)

P.S. Send Alaska my love.

And tell that Maple fellow he's quite the lucky one. :D

xx

Dear Antarctica,

True, we have not seen each other for a long time. It is rare that I visit anybody, actually. Seems you and I have something in common? Sad to hear you feel so separated from the rest of the world, but perhaps it is high time you began going out a little more? Meetings, clubs, parties, and the works.

Ahh, Alaska? She is fine, да? A bit… naïve but still a sweet girl. She is up to her usual things; hunting salmon, drawing, looking at the stars, stalking Texas, the usual. You must not worry, little Alaska is in good hands! Tell you what, how about you begin "exploring the world" with Alaska, first? Seems like a good way to go out and for you and your daughter to become closer. You two would hit it off great! :D

My state?.. er, well… See, here is the thing, and don't get mad! We all make mistakes, да?

I sold our daughter.

…

To America.

Now look, before you go get mad, I was in desperate need of money and she was… well, just a little island that sat there. She did nothing for me and I was out of options!

But I got you a gift basket saying "I'm sorry for selling our daughter." And I am taking her out for ice cream. We all win.

Of course you can visit me! We can go shopping and eat out, and watch scary movies! When we were younger, those were good days. :)

I have heard about the polar caps melting at a… ridiculously slow pace. Since it is so slow, at the very least that means you have amazing patience! See, you need to think about things in a more positive light. As for the отверстие… well, just refrain from wearing two piece bathing suits.

About me, eh? Well, I recently have been dealing with my fires little by little. The smoke is clearing away and my vision is getting better! Er… I watched "Inception" at Alfred's house… that was certainly an amazing movie. For all we know, I may be _dreaming_ that I am writing to you right now. Spooky, да?

…

Да, Canada is a very interesting country, if I do say so myself. We are currently in the state of talking and trying to set up a date. Which reminds me, I am in Canada right now… so you cannot visit, I am sorry! But we will certainly gossip when I have more details. How is YOUR love life going, Anfisa?

Yours Truly,

Иван Брагинский

P.S. Я определенно будет отправить касается.

P.P.S. Yes, he is. I mean, who would not kill to date me?... Well, ok, besides Belarus.

xx

_Translations in order:_

Да – _yes_

Отверстие –_ hole_

Иван Брагинский – _Ivan Braginski_

Я определенно будет отправить касается. – _I will definitely send your regards_

_Lol, I always thought Alaska was just a product of Alfred and Ivan. Guess Antarctica was worked in there, eh?_

_EDIT: Dude, I just read over this, and like, the part that's all "I am in Canada right now." I was like…. Tch. Unintentional double meaning? You bet it is. xD _

_~PimpinSushi_


	105. From Ireland III

((~from Niki-the-awesome))

Ivan, 

..SCOTLAND. .

Now that dat's out a da way…top of the morning to yah Ivan. I just thought I would say that, since everyone is always askin me to say it (all the fecken time). Did yer date with ((America's twin, the north guy, curly haired boy, the lad with the glasses, have all been crossed out)) Canada go well? I hope so. Yah didn't lose im did yah? He disappears all the fecken time, so it must be hard to keep track of the wee lad (though, I guess he isn't so little. He is the second biggest country).  
And I guess it is fair to say that I'm an aggressive drunk, but can yah blame me? And it's not because of my red hair! If one more god damn brit says that I'll pu-…..stop laughing.

And now yar confusin me Ivan! You tell me to go hit a woman to release my anger, and now yer gettin mad at me? Perhaps I haven't been the only one sippin on the drink, eh? (Is it true that Canada says that a lot? Does he say that during intimate moments? You don't have to answer that, I just had a hilarious mental picture is all).  
When are yah available? Aw hell, just come over. It's not like I'm DOIN anything (Hey, remember the recession? I can't remember it because I AM STILL LIVING IT). I'll treat yah to a great time! But, I have to tell yah Ivan, if you do start touchin me I'll deck yah. I can't help it, it's a reflex (after living with Britain when HE'S drunk, yah begin to develop one). Besides, I'm used to a brawl. Helps me get the energy out. We'll just have to see…

-Ireland (Or Danny, if yeh would prefer)

p.s. I noticed how you avoided answerin when your sister is available. You don't have to worry Ivan, I only want to take the lass out on a date, not 'plow her fields' (who do yah take me for, Prussia?)  
p.p.s. On that note, before yah think I'm a bad influence, remember that it wasn't ME who interrupted the last conference to declare that yur sister had 'huge tracks of land' (It was America….I don't think anyone told yah who cus you were out of da room at the e to think of it, I don't think anyone told yah about dat happenin. Well der yah go. America's the pervert, not me)

xx

Dearest Ireland,

Of course you did not. Да, we all know you it is untrue. I mean, come on, waking up naked in bed together… that is clearly not a red flag. Het, not at all. :D

Kolkol, I actually giggled when you said that, because an Irishman saying "top of the mornin' to ya" is as typical as a Russian going up to everyone and saying, "In Soviet Russia, iPod touch you!" Stereotypes are so hurtful sometimes, but доброе утро to you as well.

Ahh, my date? Well, I did not have it yet… I went to his house to look for him when I got a letter signifying he was in grave danger! I am so afraid my sister may have taken him, Daniel!… Who knows what sort of sinister, and sadistic activities she has planned for him?

Oh, but he is fine, I hope. I know he knows how to handle himself… maybe his invisibility will come in handy this time.

Uh, kind of… I pretty much can blame you because no one forces you to be an Irish drunkard… Have you ever considered taking alcohol classes? Your brother recommended them for me, because apparently, consuming eighteen bottles of vodka a day is unnatural. I believe we are being labeled as alcoholics, Ireland, and I do not like it one bit. However, at the end of every session you get free ice cream, and who does not love free ice cream? You and I should go together! :D

Ahh, women… Okay, well, it is like this, I believe that if anyone attacks you, despite the gender, you have the right to defend yourself. If a woman comes at me with a knife, which happens to me quite often, I try to avoid hitting her by maintaining distance. However, if the bitch is close enough, you know damn well I am going to push her away, and maybe punch her. But again, punching and kicking is what I try to avoid most. Do you understand now?

Ah, "eh?" Little Matvey does say it often! However, he does not notice himself saying it though, so when you try to convince him otherwise, he'll say "No I don't, eh!" It is so adorable and…God, that little minx… I just want to throw him on my office desk and-

…

File tax refunds with him… дa.

Subject change.

Oh, right, your recession, well… I gave you advice on going into the brewery business.. did that not work out for you? Why not ask England for me? Do not tell me you are too prideful for that. If you do, then I have all reason to "deck you" because your people are most important than your ego.

At any rate, I will visit you as soon as I am done with my business in Canada. You can show me the Irish fields, and rum. The one England showed me was very disgusting and bland. Maybe your brand may be better? I do not know. Oh, you can also show me the … Loch ness monster? Because you and Scotland swear that it is real. So I want to see it for myself.

I want to ride on its back, it will be like SeaWorld, дa?

As you can call me Ivan, comrade. I feel that if nations call one another by human name it shows a sign of closeness. :D

Yours Truly,

Иван Брагинский

P.S. Ugh… well, er… fine. Mоя сестра is not available a lot. So it will be hard for you to catch her. She is usually in her fields though, so check there. If you two so happen to hit it off, treat her with respect, дa? If I even hear you "plowed her fields" I will personally break your pitchfork.

P.S.S. Ugh… I have a headache now… even I can admit my sister does have large assets, but for Alfred to declare it like that… I had every right to punch him. Katya began to cry, for Tchaikovsky's sake! And do not play the innocent card, I hear you, Prussia, AND America speaking of her with vulgar tongues all of the time. It sickens me, to say the least.

xx

_Translations in order:_

Да – _Yes_

доброе утро – _Good morning_

Иван Брагинский – _Ivan Braginski_

Mоя сестра – _My sister_

_As we all know, Niki-the-awesome is the… dare I say it, "awesome" creator is "Shenanigans." You guys should definitely read it! :D_

_Anywayz._

_I totally imagined Ivan would be bored out of his mind if he went to Disney World or something, cuz ya know, those rides are too wimpy for him._

_So he needs something more EXTREME! Instead of roller coasters, he rides lake monsters. Hell yeah. _

_XD_

_Thanks for the letter, broski!_

_~PimpinSushi_


	106. From Texas V

((~from zelda03))

Naw, it doesnt I'm sure shes sweet, just not all the time, like when I'm , Alfred is just in denial, he'll get over it soon...I hope.(Then I won't say Mickey D's anymore if ya don't like that name, it sucks anyways)

YES! Danke for telling me, it will be useful. Yes, my favorite food is barbeque AND Tex-Mex, serously, you can't not exclude the Tex-Mex, Nicole shames , it is, thats why I've been eating it that I'm fat or anything,Nope, I have no what your talkin' about...DON"T JUDGE ME!Yes, kinda, not latly since its summertime and it's too hot for her come over right bad summer is pretty much over, and I would love for you to talk to her. :D

Yes, a date. Well of course I'm good at horseback riding, and I DO own a whip for a reason ya know.I am seventeen, but serously, I'm related to France and I've seen Alfred's porno collection,(multiple times in fact.)so I don't really mind.

Well, I was kinda thinkin' on just accepting the don't you go and start getting ideas, ya hear? i'm just...curious.

Yeah, it is. I would love to come over, but I don't think I can take the that I can hardly stand it at Grandpa Iggys house during SUMMERTIME, I think I would turn into an icicle. To be honest, I don't know if he does, I never kept it a , at least you actually REMEMBER the 60's, I was so fucked up during that decade,its not even funny.

Noooo, I don't wanna talk to Hawaii, I think Cali should do it, were twins anyways so its not like she'll know the difrence, I hope.

No, It just doesn't sound okay, it sounds AWESOMEEEE!

-Texas-

P.s. I'm sure you can, and I don't think I have Bipolar disorder...but everone else thinks so. I Don't think I have Schizophrenia either, its not my fault pixies like to come to me and tell me to do ?

(well I read it in this book called You are one-third daffodil, and I can't remember where it said they got it,if only I hadn't misplaced that book I would tell you D:)

xx

Dear Texas,

Alaska can be sweet, she just can be… what is it everyone calls me? "Scary?" Да, she can be scary! I think she gets it from her Aunt Belarus. Well, Alfred being in denial is nothing new; did you know that he and I used to be a couple? He will deny it for ages? ((Did I already tell you this? Or was it Colorado… eh, I want all of the states to know! :D))

Нет проблемы. I love giving advice to my friends, and you dear, are a friend. Hm, by any chance, how many calories are there in every serving of Tex Mex? What is the amount of Trans fats? I wish I could eat things like that like you can and get away with it, things like that goes straight to my thighs. Do not worry dear, you are not fat. It is Wisconsin who is fat… him ((her?)) having the highest obesity rate and all.

I have been talking to Alaska! She and I are trying to renew our relations, not so much as countries but as a father and a daughter. She has been asking me advice about you… actually.

Now, I seek your advice as well… about women… uhm, by any chance…

Why do you women bleed out of your vital regions? Like.. is that some sort of trend you have going on?

Ukraine told me it happens to a girl frequently, once a month actually, but that is a lie, Да?

I think that is all I am curious of… you women are strange, strange creatures.

Oh, THAT is why you own a whip? Texas, you terrible girl. Be careful with that thing, I do not want Alaska coming home with scars. She IS only fourteen, you realize. Well, I wish you luck… may you both enjoy your salmon and pornography.

Curious… right… where are you guys going, if you do not mind me asking. I will happily provide you with the funds.

My Texas, I forgot, you ARE a summer girl. You think my winters are bad? You should visit Serbia when General Winter gives him his yearly hugs; even I can't stand it sometimes. Kolkol, The 60s were indeed crazy times. Perhaps we should get together and… Het! I am straight edge now… you know, except for the vodka. No more marijuana, or ecstasy or shrooms… or ten pieces… or…

Alright then, you really should not talk to her… she is also… uhm… "scary," Did you know she fed Alaska human flesh and told her it was beef? So it was Hawaii's fault, not Alaska's! D:

I do not think you and Cali switching places is exactly ethical, it is easy to differentiate "Howdy ya'll" from "Like, hey bitches!" ((This is why California and Poland get along.))

Yours Truly,

Иван Брагинский

P.S. Uh…if fairies come and talk to you, then Het, that is not Bipolar Disorder. You are just suffering from being incredibly British… or Norwegian

xx

_Translations in order:_

Да – _Yes_

Нет проблемы – _No problem_

Иван Брагинский – _Ivan Braginski_

Het_ – No_

_Oh my gooooood. _

_Ivan used to toke. Teehee. _

_Texas, I think you have a bad influence on him. :I _

_Did you miss me? :D_

_~PimpinSushi _


	107. From United States of America II

_((~from ciddlesandbits))_

Yea, it was nice of me. Be grateful!

I'm not "playing" anything. I'm always Mattie's big brother and I always protect him because that's what heroic brothers do. I don't put him in danger. Dude, I don't just do things for glory. I want to help people.

At least I wasn't communist.

You know what, as long as you treat Mattie right and he's happy I guess I'm ok with it. Sort of. Also, stop telling him to beat me up, I don't want to hurt him (since I have super strength and all that). So be nice to him, ok? He's my little brother, I have to look out for him, you know?

I don't have any! I don't need stuff like that. ;) Really? Haiti has a crush on me? She said she doesn't like me. No! I can't go on a date with her! That would make Artie mad (we sort of have a thing). Stop setting me up with people without asking me about it.

I burn all the mail I get from you once I've read it, just to let you know. I'm basically the biggest country in the world already. You and Mattie are first and second (I looked it up) but half your land is frozen so you can't even use it all. You can use all of my land. So I'm the biggest. And, no one wants to be one with you.

Colorado is just...being stupid. She's grounded.

I wasn't being a rebellious idiot. You wouldn't understand what it was like having to fight against him. In the end, it was for the best.

No. It sounds stupid, is what it sounds.

Your loss.

Artie doesn't speak properly either, especially not when he's mad. I don't need a dictionary, I already speak English.

Yea, you're chilly.

I did enjoy them. I'm not fat! I work out everyday. Heroes have to be in good shape, like me. Besides, you look pretty pudgy yourself.

Stop signing your letters in Russian. You sound insane...oh wait, you actually ARE insane.

-Alfred "Alfa-dog" Jones

P.S. They don't want that crap. And most of them can't even drink legally so no vodka!

P.P.S. I heard you think I'm reliable. Thanks, man. You...uh...have nice...snow?

-(NOT LETTER)-

Alfred fails at giving compliments to Russia... :P Sorry this letter is so late. :(

xx

Dear Alfred,

Of course it is nice of you, I mean, every day I come home from a very long business meeting accompanied with radicals yelling at me about the government; I always expect a thoughtful letter from you. It is the highlight of my day, really it is!

Once again, give me a break.

Your schoolboy heroics are annoying, little Америка.

I think it and so does the rest of the world. Every time you meddle in little Matvey's life, you cause him trouble because people mistake him for you. Did you know he had to file a restraining order against Cuba? Ice cream does not solve _all_ problems, you know.

However, I thank you for your "approval." Though I never needed it in the first place, still, Спасибо, I suppose. I was kidding when I told him to beat you up, ((not really)), it is just something I recommended because he told me how fed up he is with dealing with you. He told me he made you cry once, is that true?

Kolkol, of course you do not have any. Да, in the words of Stephanie herself, "Alfred is sex."

She does like you; she said you gave a lot of money when she had her earthquake. You and Arthur have a thing? Last I checked Arthur was marrying Francis… do tell.

You burn all of the mail I send to you? That makes me sad… what about the audio tapes I sent you? Did you burn those too? Aw, but they were a new edition of Ukrainian horror films I thought you should check out. If you could brave these, then you are officially a demigod. Indeed, we are the first and second biggest countries… and do not fool yourself, Alfred.

You _think_ you are a superpower, do not let your entire fame blow up your head, Да? You owe billions to China, and until you pay that off, you are just another country in our eyes. However, I will help you pay back China if you simply become one with me. There are many benefits to doing so, that is why I ask people! Not because I have malicious intentions or anything.

You grounded her? Aw. You should probably ground Utah too, that boy certainly has a temper. Is he single?

Calm down, Alfred. I was on your side, Да? And oh, I would not understand? I had to fight Mongolia in my prime, and my sisters and the Baltic States all at once, as well. If anything, I know your situation more than anybody else. But in the end, it was for the best. I hope you know Arthur is proud of you.

Kolkol. Ваша потеря.

When Arthur is not drunk he is a very dignified man, I remember when he came to the world meeting with a hangover after having drinks with you. Kolkolkol. "Icanbelie I did thahh." Translates to "I can't believe I did that." Arthur is such a funny character.

Glad you enjoyed them, seeing as how you are still writing to me I assume you have not choked on them yet… sad, I was looking forward to laughing today.

Pudgy? I will have you know I only look that way because of my layers. It is very cold in Russia, has it been that long since you visited or do you not just remember? When I take it all off, which, I will eventually when I reach Matvey's house, ((wink.)) he will see that I am very fit.

You on the other hand, wear very thin layers, and still look like you gained weight. Have you ever tried the "French Method of Weight Loss"? Very… useful.

Me? Insane. Это больно мои чувства.

Stop eating McDonalds, you will get fat. Oh wait, you are fat.

Mother Russia can dish out the insults too, comrade.

Иван Брагинский

P.S. Oh, no vodka? But California and Texas have already done drugs, and Colorado has had my vodka before as well. If this is all forbidden, you should probably keep a closer eye on your kids, little Литл-Америка. ;D

P.P.S. Спасибо for the compliment. Now I can live again and my life is complete.

xx

_Translations in order:_

Америка – _America_

Да – _Yes_

Ваша потеря – _Your Loss_

Это больно мои чувства. – _That hurts my feelings_

Иван Брагинский – _Ivan Braginski_

Литл-Америка – _Little America_

Спасибо – _Thank You_

_Ohoho. Alfred is so effing awesome. But he sucks at giving compliments. Like, nice snow? Asshole. xD_

_Did you know Russia was in total support of the American Revolutionary War? _

_I personally think Russia was just tryna get at dat ass. _

_Also, nice USUK you got goin' on there. What's goin' down with Artie and Alfie? Who tops I WANT TO KNOW. _

_Your awesome follower._

_~PimpinSushi_


	108. From Prussia II

Verpiss dich, Russland!

No shit, who would not want to get a letter from me and my awesome curvaceous 18th Century calligraphy? Here is some advice: frame it on your wall. It will do you good. ((For these letters of mine will be worth fortunes in the future..! Kesesese~))

Hah, that is what you think? Please. My blogs spice up people's lives when they read ~ It educates the viewers! ...And my writing is brief and precise! ((With awesome gluing it all together.)) ...Unless you want to take a go at reading my diari-...JOURNALS, ((like I am ever going to let you)), then you will know what an ARTICLE looks like instead. My glorious days! When civilians and soldiers feared the very sight of my form that is Prussian and crimson eyes as I fla- ... *Crosses the incomplete line out*

..Ahem, yeah well. To sum it all up: you're deadpan wrong!

I gotta give a big THANK YOU for the reminder of those days. I have this unpleasant corporeal feeling now. I do not wish to remember the... the...GLUSENNIEN you have caused me! Nothing was fun about it!

...And wipe that that stupid smile of yours! I know you are as you're reading this...

Heh. To me, you just prolonged my "death" and I despise you for that. After being killed in 1947 and then being revived by necromancer scientists *scribbles the last two words out* COMMUNISTS in 1949... As GDR – ...

I rather have died back then than be with you for those torturous decades.

And MAYBE if you gave me back my Königsberg ((I refuse to call it "Kaliningrad" B| )) ...T-then perhaps I can live by my awesome self?

..Oh? Would you prefer that I called you uncool, cheesy love names? ((There is no way in hell that I am going to do such things anyway.))

Pfft, like I give two cents on what you say or how you feel. And... I avoide relationships like it was the plague all over again! Because... being tied down ain't my scene! A-and relationship leads to marriage...

Advance yourself up on one bridge, higher than the other bridges... the others will get burned. Sooner or later, the bridge that you think you are secure on with that special person will go up in flames as well. BAM! A divorce. Why go through such trivial things, and that pain? You can just avoid it all!

...I ain't "scrawny"! I'm perfectly lean and muscular! Unlike you, you fat Russian freak with a retarded mind.

You know what, Russia? Screw you! ...With something hard and sandpaper-y! 'Cause we all know you secretly take it up the backside, with that rusty (( Or blood? Mixture of both? ...Whatev.)) pipe of yours B/ I hope you get some kind of HIV, or tetanus! It will not kill ya ((... since you're a nation and all)), but sure as hell it will cause you pain.

Kesesese, then I challenge you to a drinking contest! For the awesome King never loses! And who the hell in their right mind would want "vodka". Oh, wait. You're NOT in the right mind. Vodka is the most distasteful, unawesome thing ever.

..I ain't going anywhere with you, cretin. *Draws another doodle, this time of Russia getting violated by Belarus*

If the awesome Prussia has the skills of a "two-year old", then you got no skills whatsoever. The doodle of me? Hah! There was no awesomeness displayed in it!

The one wondering why Russia won't just leave us all alone,

((~from Lado))

Gilbert Beilschmidt.

PS: With this letter, I enclosed some sand-papers you can stick to your spigot. You can thank me later ;]

And for your lack of information, I DID make a move. Made a lovely mark on Canada, and I call it "New Prussia" ~ Kesesese! You're the "home wrecker" here! Get out of our lives!

And if you dare come to Matthew's country, I'll ship you off back to Siberia… where you belong! Ainaseîlingis boy, indeed. That is what you are.

-

Translations of my own~ c:

Old Prussian (Pruzzisch)

Gulsennien – pain

Ainaseîlingis – lonely

German

Verpiss dich, Russland! – Fuck off, Russia!

=w= Bah ~ I love you too, and your Russia. The letter made me giggle so much :

Thank you !

xx

Gilbert.

Uhm, myself, actually. _I_ would not, and do not want a letter with your "awesome" 18th century calligraphy. Which is, wait for it, not awesome. How you even came to the conclusion that you could _ever_ compliment yourself and find it to be true is absurd to me. At any rate, no, I will not frame it on my wall. In fact, I think I will burn it, да? Or maybe let my cat have a scratch at it, sounds like a plan! ((And yes, I recently got a cat. But he really is a pain… he kind of reminds me of Alfred.))

You know I am right, Gilbert. If you think your blogs "spice up peoples" lives, you are terribly wrong. Again, I raise the point, that you are NOT awesome; and having a DIARY proves that. Not to mention, a whole damn library on it? I call that being conceited.

Ah, I remember your glorious days… too bad they are over, and you are just East Germany now. Or even, not "too bad"; good. I am glad you lost your title; it makes me smile a bit each day. See? :D

I think I am right, actually.

Kolkol, did I remind you of those days? Oh, please do forgive me. I did not mean to remind you of how I completely owned you and stripped you of your life back then. Besides, I do not think people would like to know the… _things_ that occurred between us. It is not good to hold a grudge, Prussia, it gives you wrinkles and it makes you a very angry person. You will come around to forgive me, darling.

…

:D

I stripped you of your title? Gilbert, get real. Hitler was the one that betrayed you and pretty much… excuse my language, "fucked you over." Not to be the bearer of bad news, or even… when it comes to you, I do not particularly care how you feel, however, your precious fuhrer left you on the forefronts and your brother did… almost nothing about it. How he was even surprised that I THEN took you in 1947 is confusing even to me. I separated you two because you were a dangerous pair, and you constantly call _me_ evil. Please, I did the world a favor. You call it "torture", I call it "corporal punishment." I thought those decades were so fun!

No, you will not have KALININGRAD back. Get a damn apartment!

Oh, you cannot call me cute little love names? I am not surprised, you could not do it back then and you cannot do it now, darling~!

Well, I certainly can see where you are coming from. Love is a very trivial thing that your friend Francis constantly raves about. I personally could not think you could fall in love, I admit I am not a great person. And only superficial prim and proper idiots find "love." However, then I met a certain boy… and he likes me despite my flaws. I think that is the definition of "love", but hey, what do I know, да?

Look, you albino imbecile asshole, I am not the idiot who lost my title because of my stupid decisions; I am not the "retarded" one. Also, I am not fat! Where is everyone getting this misconception? I am fit, dammit! Я не толстый…

I take it up the backside? Oh, Gilbert, we both know who takes it up there in this relationship, do we not? Or must I remind you again? Like the "glorious days"!

People who have amazing taste in alcohol love vodka; it is an amazing drink, do you not agree? You can mix vodka with orange, grape, or cranberry juice, even fruit punch! You can make it as sweet as you want and still get the same effect as beer. Which, by the way, is JUST beer. A sour, disgusting, tasteless, swill that is… wait for it, just, BEER.

How dare you!

*draws stick figure Prussia getting owned by Russia*

No awesomness displayed because there is no awesomness TO display, YOU sir, are the cretin!

Your darling,

Иван Брагинский

P.S. I gave the sandpaper to my cat… he built a scratch post out of it. Odd, but turns out they were useful… So I guess, Спасибо? :D

Kolkol, for YOUR information, Matvey's past relationships mean nothing to me. Make all the marks you want, darling. He told me that he is a virgin and that is all that matters to me, for I will be the lucky bastard that steals his V card. He is still, and will forever be mine. We ALSO spent Valentines Day together. Suck on that, albino retard.

Oh… even if you tried it wouldn't work… I mean, really, it would not work out. I have been banned from Siberia. It makes me kind of sad. So yeah! You could ban me to somewhere else, like… Prince Edward Island. No one ever goes there.

xx

_Translations in order:_

Да – _Yes_

Я не толстый – _I am not fat_

Спасибо – _Thank You _

_Did you totally see the awesome references I made to "Shenanigans" by Niki-the-Awesome? I am such a sly bastard. Really, you can find them if you squint._

_Also, an even SQUINTIER reference to this Valentines' Day fic called "Family" by Artificial Starlight. Maple Vodka fans, I totally suggest you hop on that. _

_Teehee. Sorry for insulting Prussia, I love him to bits and I would never say these things to him… as Sushi. As Russia, I can do whatever the hell I want. :D _

_Now, sorry for the wait… lol. You must have waited forever. Sorry! _

_~PimpinSushi _


	109. From Iran I

((~From NeoByzantium))

Dear Russia,

How's it going?

I've been keeping busy developing the ability to provide nuclear power for my people as well as keeping a close eye on events in Iraq and Afghanistan since they border me and such.

I've noticed that America seems to be giving you a hard time as of late. He's been on my case too as you know about my development of nuclear power plants. I wish he'd mind his own damn business and quit lumping me in with North Korea and ugh... Iraq! I'm glad to see though that you and China haven't been blindly doing whatever America says like England and France have...

Anyways, I heard that you and Canada seem to be getting along quite well, congratulations. You two have more in common then others might think.

See you at the next UN meeting.

Sincerely,

The Islamic Republic of Iran

P.S Good luck in sorting out your problems with Miss Belarus. Just keep in mind that even though she acts scary, in her heart, she sincerely cares about you so be nice to her, alright?

xx

Dear Iran,

It is all going well. I am in a good mood and… I am actually quite hungry. Please excuse me.

…

Ah, well… I am not in a good mood. There is no food in the fridge! I need to do some shopping, so uhm, while I am in the supermarket I will be writing to you simultaneously. Please excuse the terrible handwriting.

Keeping a close eye on them, eh? That is good, I suppose. Why would you be doing something like that? Are you stalking them… do you… have a crush on Iraq, perhaps? Oh my, how scandal-

Crap, what did I just hit?

Oh, nevermind. I just went over a speed bump. Those crafty bastards… If you have not figured, I am driving right now. Which, do not drive while writing a letter. I do not recommend it.

America does get on peoples cases, though, he is just a little paranoid because of the 9/11 thing. All Iranians and… pretty much all Middle Eastern look the same to him, and are all at fault. He did the same during the Cold War, I guess you just have to let it die down.

England and France really are America's bitches now. Kolkol, that is funny to say. No longer the father figures they used to be. And maybe you are being lumped with North Korea because you two… have… the same… intentions?

I am in front of the grocery store, hooray! I made it here in one piece.

Sorry, I had to put my shopping list on a sheet of paper and this is the only one I had in proximity. My deepest apologies. D:

Bread

Eggs

Milk

Vodka

Condoms

Wow… Спасибо! No one has ever wished us... good luck on our relationship before. Usually I receive scrutiny, however, this… compliment… it is strange! Остановите его!. D:

Aw… You know when there is that one asshole at the front of the grocery line that decides he wants to share his life story with the cashier? It makes me so ma- Antonio?

But anyway, see you there as well!

Иван Брагинский

P.S. I know she is scary… trust me… and, I know. She really does love me, but… I can only love her as a сестра. I wish she would understand that.

I am now banned from every local supermarket in Moscow.

Me, the personification of this damn country. Unbelievable.

xx

_Translations in order:_

Спасибо – _Thank You_

_Stop it! - _Остановите его!

Иван Брагинский – _Ivan Braginski_

Сестра – _Sister _

_Do not EVER drive and write. Personal experience. _

_And yeah, this IS a reference to the grocery store scene from APH. Forgot the number of the episode, if you know, tell me so I can include it in this description. xD_

_Lol, I would imagine Ivan would be waiting patiently in a grocery line and then go batshit insane, pull out his pipe and beat up the customers along with the cashier._

_Yes Ivan, it is quite believable that you would be banned from every supermarket in Moscow. _

_~PimpinSushi _


	110. From New Zealand I

((Xx-Ria-chanxX))

Kia Ora Ruhia~!

It's me, little Aotearoa/New Zealand ^w^

You remember me right? Tiny nation 42 Degrees South from the Equator, living next to Ahitereiria? Fought with you (though not much) in World War 1 & 2?

*in very tiny writing* Ingarangi's only South Hemisphere female colony until I got my independence? *back to normal writing*

Yeah, that's me -_-

Anyways, since I'm ALWAYS behind on things, I just wanted to check up on things up North. For example, you and Canada.

So how are things going? Hopefully, Amerika isn't bothering you guys. I know he's such a...kaihe. Especially going on about nukes and burgers. Meh.

If there's any trouble concerning him, just write me a letter and I'll sort him out using my best Ingarangi impersanation. (I am known as a South Sea Pom after all. XD)

But only if you be nice to my big brother, Kanata. He's a bit...

shy *scratches it out*

fragile.

Oh! I almost forgot, Enclosed with the letter is some 42 Below Vodka I made myself and some sunflowers. I know you love sunflowers.

Anyway, I just wanted to know what you thought of my homebrew Kiwi style Vodka. It's a little different, but I wanted you to try it all the same.

Oh dammit, I'm out of time to write, Ahitereiria is here and he wants more Pavlova. (sometimes I wish he would admit that I was the one who made the Pavlova, not him.) I hate being a little serivant.

Say, you were the controller of the Soviet Union once, how do you take control of situations and others? It's kinda hard for a little nation like me. -_-

Well, write to you some other time Ruhia. Ahitereiria's demanding beer. (But I'll only give him Tui~)

With lots of best wishes (and sunflowers)

Tui McEvans aka New Zealand.

xx

Ah, Привет little…

Мальчик?

Девочка?

… We will settle for New Zealand.

Привет little New Zealand! Indeed, I remember you? Who could forget… androgynous little… thing, you. Running around, creating trouble for both Australia and England, eh?

In a way, I suppose they both qualify as your fathers. Kolkol.

Y-You fought with me? You tiny little thing? I must have overlooked you! That, or I just mistook you for a human. Forgive me for my ignorance, but I did enjoy fighting with you when I did, Да?

What was that tiny writing? You have to understand; I am an aging nation and my vision is escaping me. D:

Matvey and I? Well, I am currently on a flight to Canada as we speak. Incidentally, I think my sister may have attacked him. If only this plane would go a little faster. What about you? How is your love life?

I always wondered; does Australia consider you a father or… something more? Kolkolkol.

America is being… America. There really is no way to describe it. You may get a sick out of this. I filmed his reaction to a ghost, and I am enclosing it to you along with this letter. Please do enjoy! :D

Matvey? Fragile. Oh, New Zealand, I realize! It is hard enough getting the lad to say his name let along hold a conversation with him. However, once you do get to talk to Matvey he is such an amazing person.

Ah, and his hockey face… FFFFFFFFFFFFFF-

Oh!

R-Really? Спасибо for the sunflowers! I shall cuddle them and take care of them with all of my heart… Oh, my heart fell out.

Well, I will take care of them with all of my empty hole in my chest.

I must give you a gift now! It would a bit cliché to send you a sheep, would it not? Hm… how about… a babushka doll! You will enjoy them! It will be of England, Austria, and then you! :D

Oh… taking control… ah, those days. Well, you must know, little New Zealand… that I was not always a great nation. I was once your size as well, half of it, really!

Every nation starts from nothing, and you have to build your own way up. By perseverance, knowing the right people, signing the right documents …

And sometimes, you have to be a slut.

Like Poland.

Score one for Mother Russia.

Иван Брагинский

xx

_New Zealand…ish…er? Translations in order: _

_((Translations:_

Kia Ora: Hello

Ruhia: Russia

Ahitereiria: Australia

Ingarangi: England

Amerika: America

Kaihe: Ass

Kanata: Canada

Misc:

South Sea Pom: because she was England's Colony

42Below Vodka: New Zealand Vodka

Calling Canada big brother: She is the youngest out of the most acknowledged of England's Colonies. America, Canada, Australia, New Zealand.

Hehe, Sorry, I just had to put it out there. ^^;))

_Russian Translations in order:_

Привет – _Hello _

Мальчик – _Boy_

Девочка – _Girl_

Спасибо – _Thank You_

Иван Брагинский – _Ivan Braginski._

_OH GOD HOW LONG HAS IT BEEN?_

_Quite the while., eh? xD_

_Don't shoot me._

_Thank you for the letter._

_~PimpinSushi_


	111. From Louisiana I

((~from Invalid hypocrite))

Dear Mr. Russia,

May I start my letter to you out with how sorry I am for writing to you? I know you're getting several states talking to you already, so it might be annoying to get another, but could you give me some advice? You see, France was the first of the countries to colonize me and when he did, he would send many... bad people to my state. To put it simply, there was a time when French prisoners would be told they could come live a free life in me and they threw a riot. Imagine that! Also, there were really only two reasons he kept me around: to protect Canada from invasion and to keep control of the Mississippi River.

Sadly, I do hold a grudge against France for doing that to me. I'm not asking for revenge, but I do want to know how to get rid of the resentment I feel towards France because I don't believe it's healthy for me to hate the person who first found me. Without him, I'm not sure I'd even be around these days. So, do you have any ideas on how I can "forgive and forget"?

Sincerely yours,

Louisiana (or Marianne, if you'd prefer my human name)

P.S. I feel so out of the loop with my siblings.. Is Hawaii trying to eat Texas again? I think I should just start throwing those nasty things Father calls hamburgers at the dolt.

P.S.S. May I call you Mr. Ivan?

xx

Dear Louisiana,

Ah, Het! No apologies necessary, my friend! I am actually quite enjoying my new found popularity. I have received so many gifts and sunflowers and… babies. So this is nothing, it is nice to meet you!

I do not mind giving advice… if you are willing to check, I gave Sealand the best advice he will ever need.

Oh, you poor child… but you have to know that due to our statuses as countries; these situations happen all the time and parents come and go. It is sad, though, really, you were just a sweet, vulnerable little girl…

I think that is why he picked you… but who knows, I could be wrong, Да?

Ahh, I know exactly where you are coming from. For the longest, I completely resented Mongolia for being… for a lack of better words, an asshole to me in my Imperial days. But you must know, that is not healthy, and it only gives the other person control of your life.

Besides, what is holding a grudge going to do? It'll just be another weight on your shoulders you really don't need.

You just have to forgive that person, no matter how much of a pompous asswad he can be, Да?

Forgive, but never forget.

If you need a distraction, you can visit me anytime!

How about that Princess and the Frog? Great movie. Took place in Louisiana. :D

Any good sex lately?

Mardi Gras? Aren't you looking forward to that as well?

Gosh, aren't these distractions nifty?

Your friend,

Иван Брагинский

P.S. … Marianne, it's called a cell phone… and it is also called texting. Why not just exchange numbers with your brothers and sisters? How do you think Alfred and I keep in touch all the time? :D

P.P.S. I am glad you realized how disgusting hamburgers are… I am strictly ashamed to say the McDonalds franchise has stretched to Mother Russia as well… I used to be so much skinnier.

P.P.P.S. You do not HAVE to call me Mr. Ivan... It makes me feel old… but if it is what pleases you I guess I have to choice, do I?

xx

_Translations in order:_

Het- _No_

Да - _Yes_

Иван Брагинский – _Ivan Braginski_

_Lolol. Even Ivan can feel self-conscious about HIS age now and again, right? But it's okay, twenty-eight is the new twelve. :I _

_Thanks for the letter!_

_~PimpinSushi_


	112. From Alberta V

((~from RainingSun))

Dear Ivan,

Yay!~ ^^ And then maybe you can come live with us and then that basta-I mean, Uncle Alfred, won't come over anymore! Speaking of which, I'm not sure why he was over so late anyways. I think he might be asking Daddy on advice about England. Or not. We shall see.

Actually, I don't think he knows o.o He knows Alfred's kids write to you, but I'm not sure about me. Either way...

You watch America's Next Top Model? Cool. Well at the end there's only one top model, but that's at the end of the season. Maybe that's why.. Hey we have a version of that too. I don't know why Daddy copied Alfred. ;\

Yeah he loves to cook! Sometimes he lets my siblings and I help :) (It doesn't always turn out so well though = =")

It's not THAT odd.. Alfred is Daddy's brother, and Francis is his Papa, my Grandpapa, so it's not unlikely that the fashions would resemble each other.

A plus tard,

Aly~

xx

Dear Aly,

Live with you? That is such a big jump… I do not think I am ready for this commitment, Alberta! D:

Wait a second, Alfred asking advice… on ENGLAND?

Some things in this world really are priceless. So Alfred has a daddy complex, eh? I smell blackmail. How long has this been going on, curious?

I am not sure Matthew would mind if you were writing to me, after all, I may just be a part of your family soon have I the gull to ask for his hand in брак . But do not tell okay? Shhh ;)

I watch that show all of the time, girlfriend~!

I mean.

Sometimes when Poland comes over, he makes me sit through the reruns with him.

At any rate, Ahh…. As much as I adore your father, I must admit he lacks a bit in the creative department. The only thing that's ever really been _his_ is… hockey and poutine. But TV shows and music and… just, pretty much anything has had American influence on it. Poor Matvey, always living under his brother's large ass… I mean, shadow.

Aww, how adorable. I just imagine you guys scrambling around a kitchen trying to figure things out. Perhaps we could all be a family.

You would be crying, Matvey would be screaming, and I would be putting out the kitchen fires with the most sincere smile on my face.

Family portrait, anyone?

That much is true. I never thought of it that way. :O

Your amazing friend,

Иван Брагинский

xx

_Translations in order:_

Брак – _marriage_

Иван Брагинский – _Ivan Braginski_

_I honestly have no idea… whether or not Canada has any original stuff. Considering I've never been there or anything… but whenever I talk to my friends there they tell me things are pretty much the same, ahahaha. _

_Like, it's not a big jump from Maine to Montreal._

_But anyway, thanks for the letter, broski :D _

_~PimpinSushi_


	113. From The Baltics II

((~from roller-coaster15))

Dear Ivan,

Hello, it's just Lithuania writing. Ravis refused to even touch the letter you sent us and Eduard is...doing something I think. Well, he said that he was busy but I'll read to them this letter you sent us. Oh I won't be doing that since Latvia locked himself into his room and refused to even talk to about that 'thing'. At least he didn't faint, less hospital fees. Estonia...said he was busy.

Connection? What connection? We never had any, there is this other word that is much more proper than that and it's definitely not connection. We don't answer you calls because we don't want to. It's as simple as that and besides not one of us would dare answer a call from you. Unless if Poland was here, he'll answer the calls then hang up. You also call us at the middle of the night before you break in.

I never knew you were worried about us. Estonia does not believe this, he thinks it's just to become one with you.

Lithuania, Toris Laurinaitis

P.S. I didn't know that you were trying to hook me up with Belarus. That's very kind of you and Eduard.

P.P.S. You were going to visit us? D: D=

P.P.P.S. From Estonia, I scanned the letter before mailing it to you and I am not just doing something. It's something very important that no one would ever know.

xx

Dearest Baltics,

Литва! Just the man I wanted to speak to first. I suppose it is a shame that Raivis did not want to speak with me, but that is nothing new, да?

I can't understand half the things he says anyway, always stuttering and mumbling… but ah, I digress. Tell Eduard I say привет and… удача, I suppose?

We did have a connection, Toris… our lands were so close to each other, I could practically hear you calling me. And when I finally met you in 14th century, you were so beautiful I just had to make you mine!

You have not forgotten about me, and you are talking to me… which is a good sign. So да, call it whatever you like, just know, it is, and will always be a связи.

Aw, such a shame you don't answer my calls or messages… I miss you guys. You especially, you were always my favourite. But that nuisance Feliks took you from me in 1569… how a runt like him ever got passed me I'll never fully understand. He has hidden strength, it's impressive. However, I am still sad I lost you… so I try and visit you!

"Breaking in" is such an ugly word…

Oh, Het, on the contrary, I am happy that you guys have founded your independence from me. It is like watching a child grow up, it is heartbreaking to see them go but at the same time, you're proud.

Besides, I want to see how far you guys can make it before you economy goes to shit and your crawling on my front door again. :D

Your friend,

Иван Брагинский

P.S. I am indeed trying to hook you up… the faster I do so, the sooner she can be out of my scarf. I honestly don't know what you see in her, Toris… but whatever makes you happy, I suppose.

P.P.S. I was! Until I had to take an emergency flight of Canada… but text me! :D

P.P.P.S. … Is it another doomsday device? Eduard, I already told you it can't be done… besides, if you need a nuke I can just give you one. =_=

P.P.P.P.S. Don't tell Alfred I said that.

xx

_Translations in order:_

Литва – _Lithuania_

Да – _Yes_

Привет – _Hello_

Удача – _Good luck_

Иван Брагинский – _Ivan Braginski_

14th Century – _Ivan was all, "It's rapin' time" and Lithuania just happened to be there._

1569 – _Poland and Lithuania became a Commonwealth. _

_The little excerpt of Ivan being all "just waiting for your economy to die, is all :3" Is an example of his childlike cruelty. He doesn't know he's doing it, but yeah. Thought I'd just mention that…_

_The letters from the Baltics are awesome. Wtf is Eduard working on? _

_He kind of reminds me of Dexter… and he has a secret underground laboratory. With a monkey, a sister, and an arch enemy._

_Ravis, Lithuania, and Russia._

_LOL._

_Thank you for the letter~! X3_

_~PimpinSushi_


	114. Author's Note IV

HEY!

I miss you guys.

So much my heart broke in two.

I am not abandoning this so don't think otherwise!

I just took a break.

Your little Sushi is growing up and going to college soon… So I'm trying to keep up with a lot of things. Including my confusing ass major ((what the hell is marketing engineering?))

-tear-

But legit shit, there's someone else writing an Ivan's Letters to the World.

I won't tell you to go read it, or the name or the author… because that's "promotion" in Article B subsection II part eighty-seven or some shit.

But er, what should I do? Should I let the girl take over or keep my own?

I've never read hers, but she's received a good amount of reviews so I don't know… Is it worth continuing if someone else might be taking over?

is it because I'm not updating? I'm too old? Not awesome enough?

I CAN CHANGE.

Oh! Also… something bad happened… because of this witchcraft the makers of fanfiction bestowed upon the site; all of my PMs are GONE.

Meaning… if you sent me a letter in a PM… guess what, it's lost. Never to be found again. Needle in a haystack. A gust of wind. A leaf among many. A virgin among Ivan's lovers. All. Gone.

NOW THEN! I feel like I'm taking up a lot of your time. xD

I have so many letters to catch up to… but now I can totally devote my unused time to you because I don't ship out for college ((prison)) in another couple of months. :D

I love you that much.

That's right, love.

I love you. :D

Your doting fan,

~PimpinSushi


	115. From Uzbekistan IV

((~from LivingInInsanity))

Dear Russia,

My boss is a giant allah-damned son of a bitch bastard whose very apperance requires me to get drunk so I dont try to kill him. Dammit one of my cities was the capital of the Sassanid empire, and yet I have to lie about my age just so I can get drunk! blood splatter. Ah dammit, I coughed up blood again.

~please excuse my younger sister's rant as well as the blood~

Angerly,

Ўзбекистон Республикаси. (Republic of Uzbekistan).

xx

Dear Angerly,

My, someone needs to take a… how you say it… "midol".

…

Wait, I am sorry, it is called a "chill pill" apparently. It is a good thing I have my translators with me whenever I write these letters.

If you ever need to get drunk, you know who you can call, да? I have so many vodka bottles I do not keep track anymore, I am sure I can spare a few. In fact, I'll just send them to you.

Just make sure your boss does not see them, lest he embodies the "bitch" you enquire him to be and steals some. I labeled them as "apple juice"

Why apple juice, you ask? I fear that "Russian water" is much too obvious. I am such a genius.

Coughed up blood? Goodness, do you need someone to take care of you? How about this, I have a friend named Tristan! He is a child of Alfred's, the very personification of Utah. You see, he has quite the large amount of time on his hands, so he could go over there and keep you company!

Does that sound swell? And maybe you two could be a bit more. Kolkolkol.

Your amazing friend,

Иван Брагинский

xx

_Translations in order:_

Да – _Yes_

Иван Брагинский – _Ivan Braginski_

_For those confused…, "Midol" is just PMS medicine. _

_Happy Pills for women. _

_I'm not sure who wouldn't know what midol is… unless they only make it in America. Do they make midol wherever you come from? _

_This is me meeting a cultural difference… it's probably a stupid question… but now I'm curious. = A =_

_Anyway… I'm…. kind of confused, who the hell is Angerly? is this from her or Uzbekistan?_

_~PimpinSushi_


	116. From Malaysia

((~from BlackestNight BrightestDay))

Dear Ivan,

I've heard a lot about you. Frankly, you're country stares me in the face everyday as I gaze upon the world map. Though I don't like to admit it, but I feel absolutely ridiculous. Pull out that world map of yours (I hope it's not like Alfred's) and that magnifying glass too. I am Malaysia. The tiny peninsula by the equator.

No, you may not conquer me. Until you have taken over China, Thailand and all the other countries inbetween. It would be odd to have a speck of Russian land in the middle of nowhere, no? Almost like Alfred and Matthew with that Alaska thing. It drives me insane when they argue about it. I don't understand why Matthew can't just take away Alaska.

That aside, my country's got fields upon fields of sunflowers and the sun's always so intense. Drop by for a drink, sometime, hmm?

Sincerely,

Malaysia

P.S: I fully agree with your views about Alfred. He is quite the 'pondan'.

P.P.S: If you ever do drop by, please do bring some of that vodka of yours. I've yet to try that.

xx

Dear Malaysia,

Have you now? I suppose the things you hear are pretty negative, да? Well, let me forewarn you now… I have changed my ways and am a completely different person.

No longer do I pour the milk before the cereal. It was a grave mistake I made that I would like to leave in the past…

At any rate, I know who you are! I do not need a map to recognize a good friend of mine! :D

I was not planning to conquer you, for your information.

Remember dear, assuming makes an "ass" out of "u" and "me." But now that you've posed me with the challenge, I think I may accept it.

I love doing new things, and conquering never gets old!

Oh, I would now about random specks of land… you'd be surprised how cynical the conquering game is. We love any piece of land, anywhere, as long as we can claim, "Yes, it is ours."

Incidentally, it would make the most sense for Matvey to own her; however, he is much too soft spoken to fight for her. He usually likes to stay out of my and Alfred's affairs.

They get out of hand a bit too quickly.

…

Seriously? I feel teased that I cannot grow sunflowers, but happy because perhaps I can stop by your land at some point!

Oh, my boss thinks I have a drinking problem, so do not offer me "drinks" in these letters as they are pre-read by him. Call it a "tea party." :D

Sincerely Yours,

Иван Брагинский

P.S. Спасибо.Finally, someone agrees.

xx

_Translations in order:_

Да – _Yes_

Иван Брагинский – _Ivan Braginski_

Спасибо – _Thank You_

_Ivan totally knows who Malaysia is!_

_As he pulls out his map to see mid-letter. _

_Teehee._

_~PimpinSushi_


	117. From Mongolia II

((~from nom..angel))

Dear Brat,

First off, No way will I shut up for you or anyone.

Second of all, Preoccupied? That is one way to describe the trouble you've been causing. Biggest trouble maker in the world you are. I remember when you caught Ottoman in one of you deer hunting traps. He was not happy. Especially when you wrote 'Property of Muscovy' in perfect Cyrillic in Indian ink on his mask. KOLKOLKOLKOLKOL Imperialism gives you such rush. :D

Fine I will try to be politer. But I just love to tick people off. It's funnier to see them die later, this way.

Europeans are just like Asians, they ignore people like us. It's soo unfair! Anyway I'll be attending the next world conference so maybe afterwards we can go drinking together.

You dare hurt Yao with out inviting me to help I'll burn down Moscow again. And when I said China gave me the heads up, it kind of translates as reading his top secret info that his spies collect. KOLKOLKOLKOL :D

Ok, I'll stay over here and Yes, I don't have anything other to do.

Till next time, мой обожаемый идиот студента

Mongolia

P.S. Yes I know you have gotten tall but the hat is still stupid. Oh and Do you still refuse to drink your milk?

P.P.S. Yes Ukraine. She develops this creepy purple aura then chases me withher pitchfor. She once used the Aura to throw a table at me. Awww, Is little Vanya scared of his baby sister?

P.P.P.S. I have Kol'd since before you were born It's mine. KOLKOLKOL :P

P.P.P.P.S. Ok what I'm about to tell you is all to do with the new politics. In the Good old days, it would have made me and my people seem weak. Now a days it doesn't matter so

xx

You.

That's a shame, myself along with many other nations have been trying to sew your mouth shut for centuries... one would think you got the hint by now, I guess you are just that incompetent.

I am not a trouble maker, and for your information, I have been busy! I don't go around torturing people for fun and laughing at their expe-

...

God Damn you, Mongolia.

Turkey deserved it in my opinion, have you seen what an asshole he is to Gupta and Heracles? Not to mention poor Spain!

Dat ass was going to be mine, and he claimed it first... It's just not cool.

I would sooner drink laundry detergent than drink vodka with you, Mongolia. Stay in your side of Europe, I never want to see you again!

... But can your return the five dollars you owe me? That would be nice...

You take your stupid Mongilian paws off of Yao; you've corrupted him enough and I have always wondered where his scar came from. And for gods' sake, his hair is so damn _long._ The poor guy is in need of a haircut.

...

I am so tempted to just go over there and lay waste with you.

Иван Брагинский

P.S. I happen to like my hat, and so does your mother. Did you feel that burn? I hope you did. Because I have a flamethrower just in case =_=

P.P.S. Ukraine? Never! She is such a sweetheart, you dare you degrade her name? D:

P.P.P.S. But now you're old, withering away, and dying. The new generation is taking over. I already made your funeral arrangements :)

P.P.P.P.S. Fuck you, Mongolia.

xx

_Translations in order:_

Иван Брагинский - _Ivan Braginski_

_I am so sorry._

_I don't hate you.. or your mother. I'm just Russian, ya know? ; A ; _

_-kicks russia in his slavic balls for being so rude-_

_Thank you for the letter! _

_~PimpinSushi_


	118. From People's Republic of China I

Oh wow these are a lot of letters... I just hope mine gets a reply and isn't taken already!

Привет, Russia!

Ah, I have tried to speak Russian and the constant curling of the tongue makes it so weird, aru! I'd rather stick to my 'ing'-like endings (as Alfred likes to tell me). I am writing this to you quickly before Kiku can see it, aru. I just hope relations between you and him are getting better! But enough about me, aru. How are you doing nowadays after WWII?

Young-Soo is still trying to "claim" Jinan and Lanzhou, aru! I just hope he doesn't go south to Guangzhou, that would be really creepy... *shivers* How are you and Ukraine, aru? I've been trading all around the world recently and my economy is in top shape! A few years ago I even signed a contract with Spain to improve trade, aru. I'm getting off topic... Ukraine tells me she really wants to have a picnic with you, aru. I am jealous that you have such caring siblings!

Ah... to reminisce in old times again, aru... I try to visit Kiku whenever I can but Mei-Mei (Taiwan) doesn't want me to and tells me to stay away! Kiku is here right now and we are having our annual family dinner, it feels great to be with everyone again, aru! Ah! But I'm probably boring you with my problems. I'm so sorry, aru!

再见！

~The People's Republic of China

-

再见：See you again/later (I'm a native Chinese speaker)

xx

您好,中国!

Well, Chinese is not exactly an easy language, Yao. It's so rough and coarse I cannot take it sometimes! Kolkol. Ohh.. are you around Kiku? Do not hide our love, Yao. It hurts my heart... that just fell out.

Dammit.

Ignore the smudge of red on the paper..

Спасибо for asking! I have been rather well and recovering, though, my economy could always be a little better... like it was in the 80s. Goodness, Yao, do you remember the 80s? We were so in love and you wore... excuse my laughter, leg warmers. Ah, we could have gotten married too... What about yourself? Are you ready to crawl on your hands and knees at my beautiful Russian doorstep to accept my proposal?

I have the ring ready, too! Our honeymoon will be grand, моя маленькая панда!

... Why can you not control Yong Soo? He is only... fifteen, isn't he? God, this my be the second time I may have to give parenting advice. You and Antonio would make good friends, I believe. However, Jinan and Lanzhou are... very... flat..lands...

Does Yong Soo not see? How about uhm... hm, you go around groping his ass or something. Then he will see how uncomfortable it is. Would you like me to do the honors? Oh, I would not mind, Yao. You know I would be honored. ;D

Ah, Katya and I are improving, though, as I said, things can always be better. Do you know that.. man, arthur is having an influence on me, wanker Ireland is going after he? It's not right. My sister will remain a virgin forever and that's that.

Again, Yao, Mei is what... like, ten years old? Control her and keep her in her place. Remember, if the bitch isn't quiet, then a pimp's gotta riot.

Alfred taught me that!

You're not boring me, Oh, Yao, dear, tell me more. :D

Sincerely Yours,

Иван Брагинский

xx

_Translations in order:_

您好,中国 - _Hello, China_

Спасибо - _Thank You_

моя маленькая панда - _My Little Panda_

Иван Брагинский - _Ivan Braginski_

_Oh dear, I made up that pimp and bitch thing on the spot. I have no idea if it's a saying. And if I started a trend, then praise me, everybody. Praise me, now :DD_

_Thank you for the letter, your china is adorable~!_

_~PimpinSushi_


	119. From Australia I

Hey Mate! It's Australia :)

Y'know down under, the outback, the baby's bottom, the Croc's tooth, the good'ol BarB, the Kiwi's foot, the wave's shoe,...etc.

Well, anyhu, just wanted to say hello, since thats the friendly Australian thing to do :)

Arn't these little smilies so nifty, mate? :) I just cant stop using them :) :) :) :)

Well, I gotta gt back to cleaning my toothbrush kit, so i'll see you around mate. Nice chattin with ya :)

-Steve

xx

привет, Австралии!

It is.. nice to hear from you!Though, I must admit since it's odd since we've had no further contact before. I suppose that's what these letters are for!

Uh, да, the outback...

Mhm, the baby's... tooth? The..

What the hell is a Bar..B-kiwi's... shoe..?

...

Okay, I am Russia.

Otherwise known as Russia.

Formally known as Russia.

And will ALWAYS be Russia.

Now that we have those introductions out of the way, hello, again! How are yo-

...

Australia, how old are you? You are old enough to be writing me, да? You.. You write like a child... or maybe you just have down syndrome.. is that it?

You have a toothbrush kit?

Well, this is one of the strangers letters i've had since my future self wrote me.

I'm confused...

The smilies... the kiwi's foot... toothbrushes!

THIS WAS NOT A NICE CHAT!

These strings of emotions have made me angry.

Go wrestle some 'crocs because that is all you are good for!

Иван Брагинский

xx

_Translations in order:_

привет, Австралии - _Hello, Australia_

Иван Брагинский - _Ivan Braginski_

_Russia doesn't like being confused. :I _

_So, sorry for.. gettin to your letter... a year later.._

_Consider it an anniversary._

_For my beautiful friendship._

_our friendship. _

_You're my best friend, I miss you and love you, man~! _

_~PimpinSushi_


	120. From Netherlands I

((~from Lars the Netherlands))

Yo Russia,...wait...this is Russia right?

I mean...well damn I don't really know right now. Shit. Im pretty damn high...

Well, if you ARE Bvan Iraginski...I...like your scarf.

Give it to me man.

-Holland

xx

Dear Holland,

The term is 'hello', as it is the formal way of speaking to an elder.

да, this is Russia... Ivan Braginski, you know?

... Again, Holland? How do you have the best economy and yet you're toasted all the damn time? Maybe.. Maybe you're an inspiration to us all? Showing that all we have to do is unwind, let loose and relax, and things will fix themselves with the natural ebb and flow of time, soon we can get along and things can be serene and-

...

Get your own scarf, peasant.

My сестра made this for me and I refuse to give it to anybody! Wait, you have your own damn scarf...

...

I was wrong about you, pedophile.

Иван Брагинский

xx

_Translations in order:_

Cестра - _Sister_

Иван Брагинский - _Ivan Braginski_

_DUDE! The Netherlands is my FAVOURITE character, I am so glad someone finally wrote to me as him! And you named him Lars! AUHDUFYWHEU. -gushes forever-_

_But sorry for taking so long, things, I meant to.. whatever. excuses._

_I hope you enjoy my shitty Russian response. _

_I LOVE YOU! _

_~PimpinSushi_


	121. From Canada VII

Dear Ivan,

First off, your little sister is scary. O.O I'm not at home at the moment, but I'll be there soon. I'm at Alfred's. Apparently having a twin and being invisible does come in handy. I kinda ran and hide in Alfred's house. But he does the same thing to me when Cuba get's mad at him, so now we're even, right? Right?

Okay. I'll meet you at the airport, then. Just let me drive Alfred to the hospital.. . He say's it okay because he 'Was the hero and saved me from Belarus.' At least he's not mad, eh?

Because of America, England, and Papa? The three who most commonly forget my existence, and are supposedly my family? you thought they would stop me? The past is the past. Focus on the present and future, eh?

I didn't hate you for being a commie, though. Like you said, I wanted to keep my people safe. You threatened to bomb Ukraine? Wow. . .

That sounds good! What movie do you have in mind. Okay, I'll see you then.

Kumajira wrote to you? Hmm. . . I didn't think he'd do that. Of course he can write! I taught him.

He says, first of all. "Who?" then he said something about polar bears being very scary. . . However, if you have to put up with your little sister, a polar bear should be easy to deal with. He agrees.

Once again, no offense, but you sister is SCARY. How do you not have a heart attack when she's around?

See you at the airport.

~Matthew

xx

Dear Matvey,

Thank all gods and great seas you are okay! I know my сестра can be scary! I'm currently in your home and I had to shoo her away with a broomstick.

да, you two are even! I am ever so thankful I got her out of your house... and for once.. thankful to Alfred. Send him my condolences, and sorry for calling him fat; along with a Weight Watchers pamphlet enclosed with this letter :D

That is fine, I will be waiting at the airport! Look out for the most amazing car you have ever seen.

...

Well, uh, I got my license revoked giving Puerto Rico driving lessons. So, look out for a golf cart.

BUT IT IS A NICE GOLF CART!

With a tiny russian flag on the antenna!

We'll be driving down the highway in style.

That is a positive way of looking at things, but it is easy to say when your past is squeaky clean, Matvey. Mine is not, it is dirty and soaked in blood... and kerosene.. and vodka.

But now your people are safe because once I get you under the sheets, your people become my people and vise versa. Kolkolkol!

... Of all the movies I want to see...

Harry Potter.

and Captain America.

Can we please? PLEASE?

да, he wrote to me. In all honesty, I think he will try and bite off my dick if I hurt you or something... that does not sound pleasant.

Oh, I do, I do have a heart attack.

Many of them

That is why my heart falls out, because it's so damn tired of having attacks.

I see you!

GET YOUR ASS INTO MY GOLF CART.

Иван Брагинский

xx

_Translations in order:_

да - _Yes_

Иван Брагинский - _Ivan Braginski_

_I actually saw both of those movies, and they're both pretty bad ass._

_Thanks for the letter, man! :D_

_~PimpinSushi_


	122. From South Korea I

((~from PolarPig))

안녕하세요, Russia형!

It's me, Korea! :D

Aniki (China) and Japan are ignoring me, daze! I'm so sad... T-T

I tried to get their attention, daze; the usual... The claiming their breasts thing but they're not paying attention to me... I tried using my mind-reading binoculars but they're not working. (It said that they didn't want to see me. D: ...)

아니! I refuse to believe they don't like me!

...

I'm going to sit in my corner and binge-eat my kimchi, daze... I need some 소주... TAT

...

I'm lonely, daze! Come to my house so we can get drunk and play some video games! You can bring your vodka; after all, it originated in me!

In fact, everything originated in me, daze! :D ...except for the loneliness...and the broken mind-reading binoculars...

From,

Me, daze!

P.S. 우리 나라 만세!

P.P.S Want some kimchi? 김치는 최고야! :3

P.P.P.S ...Daze!

안녕하세요 - Hello

형/ hyung - brother

아니 - No

소주/ soju - alcoholic rice beverage from Korea, heard it tastes like vodka but sweeter :3

우리 나라 만세 - Hooray for our land!

김치는 최고야 - Kimchi is the best

(I'm sorry if Yong Soo is OCC...TAT. I had an urge to make sure people won't forget someone as epic as Korea!)

Used translation and what is left of my native language...FORGIVE ME! I'M A DEFECTIVE KOREAN! *bows to whoever loves kimchi*

xx

Dear Korea,

Do you ever think they are ignoring you because you keep groping their breasts? I know what it feels like, people don't like it when you randomly touch them

... No matter how delicious that ass was.

Your mind reading binoculars are not functioning either? God Damn, I think you and I may have gotten defective ones because Alfred says his work perfectly... urgh.

How about I buy you a new pair... in Moscow! Come here, little Korea... come here to Russia...

Вам нравится, когда я тебя трогать...

Better yet, hm? I will visit your house, and I will... will make such good company! But my dear Korea, vodka originated here! The only thing that originated in Korea was unoriginality :)

Иван Брагинский

P.S. I have never tried kimchi. How about kimchi and vodka, my treat! :D

P.P.S. Yes, hooray for your land... что в скором времени будет моим...

xx

_Translations in order:_

Вам нравится, когда я тебя трогать - _You'll love it when I touch you_

Иван Брагинский - _Ivan Braginski_

что в скором времени будет моим - _-that will soon be mine_

_It's funny, i'm listening to kpop right now! _

_NOT YET 2PM. _

_YEAAAAAAAH._

_So, I love your Korea, you're not OOC at all. I just hope i'm not OOC and you can forgive me for taking so long ; n ; _

_IF I'VE LOST YOU TOO I DON'T KNOW WHAT I'M GOING TO DO WITH MYSELF._

_Probably pig out on these oatmeal creme pies.. unfunf..._

_~PimpinSushi_


	123. From Ukraine III

((~from zhorla))

Dear Ivan,

After hearing how my letter got lost in the mail, I decided to write you a new one. I was wondering what happened.

So what's been happening? How's your project been going? Has Natalie been bothering you? Some very strange things have been happening. I've been getting things in the mail; beer and flowers. And what I think is a drunken love letter from Ireland- although it is kind of hard to tell, so I'll give him the benefit of the doubt.

Um… I think I hear knocking; It's Natalie, so this is all for now. She's attempting to take the door down by force…

Love,

Yekaterina

P.S. The Sunflowers are in full bloom here! 

xx

Dearest Yekaterina,

Спасибо, must have been a mix up at the post office because I seemed to have lost dozens of them. That is awfully nice of you!

Uh, nothing has been happening as of recent, besides claiming Ontario.. nothing new.

SHHHH! Do not speak of the project so loosely...

But it is going well... since you are asking...

Oh, everyday. сестра, she even tried to attack Matvey! So I shooed her away with a broomstick and made a nifty escape in a golf cart.

Just an average Tuesday, really.

...

Ireland is writing to you? Urgh, I told that-

Well, do you... uh.. do you _like_ him?

If you like him, I am disappointed but... oddly proud. He is not as much of an asshole as he is a drunk... but... he is a drunk. So it's hard to tell how I feel about Daniel :I

Take him on a few dates and see how things go!

Just, remember the rules!

No drinking

No hand holding

No touching

NO SEX

No staring into eachothers' eyes

No soul searching

NO SEX

No touching

No SEX

And be home by seven!

Маленький брат has your back!

любовь,

Иван Брагинский

P.S. Send your Маленький брат some!

xx

_Translations in order:_

Спасибо - _Thank You_

Маленький брат - _Little brother_

любовь - _Love_

Иван Брагинский - _Ivan Braginski_

_Orz, FINALLY, MAN, FINALLY. _

_I hope my reply wasn't a total fail!_

_~PimpinSushi_


End file.
